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notenufchaos View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 August 2009 at 8:31pm
hi i am planning a home birth with my second baby - first was also a homebirth although not planned. however my first will be 20 months old and i do not have any family close by to look after her and she has never been away from us.

i guess what i am asking is has anyone given birth at home with there other children present and how did it go?


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myfullhouse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2009 at 7:41am
Sounds almost exactly same as a friend of mine. Her son was about the same age when she had her 2nd. Her labour was very quick, about 3hrs I think the 2nd time and at night so luckily her son slept through the whole thing.

Do you have any friends that could come over and look after your daughter at your house? Or ask your mw if there are any services available in your area where someone could babysit at your place so it is a bit easier on your daughter. We have a free service in our area which would likely help out in this situation.
Lindsey


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monikah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote monikah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2009 at 8:35am
this may be totally off the mark but i would be worried that the older child might not like the new baby because they think thats he/she is hurting you? im all for keeping your child around home if you want them there, could be kinda cool but i say definitly have someone there who is not involved with the birth so they can solely be there or your other child and can keep them away and the right times. i have no experience of this at all though so its merely an opinion and holds no weight whatsoever. good luck though :)


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T_Rex View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote T_Rex Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2009 at 9:15am
We watched a homebirth video in antenatal class last night where the approx 2yo was there. He didn't seem too bothered (or interested) in what was going on, but the dad did have to spend a lot of time tending to him - although the mum didn't seem to mind. It would depend how much you expect you'd need DH to be attending to you.

As an aside, I saw my mum go through transition (in the car) when I was 4 because my brother was a fast labour. I remember finding it pretty scary that she was being freaked out and irrational, and I have pretty vivid memories of that still. So 20 months might be ok, but much older and it could be a bit rough on them.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote T_Rex Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2009 at 9:19am
Oh, I also wanted to add that I was babysat 4 times in my life - once when each of my 2 younger brothers were born and once when each of my 2 younger sisters were born. I don't have any traumatic memories associated with that at all. We had no family close by either, so were babysat by a close friend of my parents that we knew quite well. My parents would pick her up on the way to the hospital and she and us kids would stay in a motel opposite the hospital with her for the night and my dad would be back once the baby was born. We lived an hour from the hospital though, else I imagine we'd have just stayed at our place or hers.
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crafty1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote crafty1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2009 at 12:34pm
A friend of mine gave birth at home with her 22 month old there. They had a friend come over who he knew really well and who played with him etc and was just responsible for him. He knew what was going on but wasn't all that interested tbh. They are pretty self focused at that age and probably a bit young to get too scared.

I'd pick someone he likes, ask them and then start them playing together regularly as a build up. You and dh don't want to be worrying about your boy, you'll be a bit busy. I think it's a great idea for kids to know about where we come from.

I'm trying to figure out what to do with my boy, but we can't have a homebirth so not sure. In hospital he'd be in all the cupboards and drawers, playing with the toilet, god what a mare!

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caitlynsmygirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caitlynsmygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2009 at 2:07pm
Personally , the last thing I wanted when I had my second was my daughter nearby , I hated the thought of being out of control and saying things to her Id regret ,or her hearing me scream /yell /cry in pain , which is exactly what I ended up doing ., my view is she can witness her own babies birth .
When shes thirty ;-)

However, my daughter's stepmum had their older two , (aged 3 and 2 ) at home when she had her planned homebirth , and they had someone there , (her bestfriend I think ) to keep an eye on them , in the end they weren't in the room anyway (they were more interested in playing in the sandpit )

You may be quite a calm person in labour , in which case it probably would not affect your daughter that much , I just know that since im not , my children would be better off not seeing it .



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notenufchaos View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote notenufchaos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2009 at 2:23pm
hi thanks for all the replies - i am pretty relaxed about the whole labour and birth thing - i did yell a lot just in general. i have spoken to my sister about being there for Lucy and she is planning on it but as she lives two hours away there are no guarantees - all my friends have young children of there own and i would not feel comfotable asking them to leave there children to look after mine. i have also asked a friend who is backup so if its not going well with Lucy being at home then she will come and pick her up (i am hoping to give birth in the night so Lucy will sleep though it all lol.


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Andriea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andriea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 August 2009 at 6:58pm
hiya we had our 7, 4 and 17 month old present for one of our homebirths, I had baby in a birthing pool in the lounge, they watched tv and popped over for a 'look' every now and then while I was in labour. Im pretty calm and quiet when I give birth (just my way of dealing with the pain) so they never realised that it was actually hurting and because I knew they were there I was probably more quiet. It was awesome to have them there and after he was born I hopped out of the pool and lay on the couch and all the kids hopped up with me and there new brother.

I agree with the others though if you can have someone there to help out it would be good, also think about if complications arise and you need to transfer, for this we had a friend/neighbour on call while I was in labour just incase we needed someone.
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