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britgirl2009 
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Location: auckland
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 Topic: new mum to be
Posted: 06 August 2009 at 12:31pm |
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Hi there,
First time mum here - I am 12 weeks & 6 days. I had the nuchul scan this week and all is looking good so far. Seeing the baby wriggling around on those black and white monitors was an amazing experience – it has suddenly become very real that we are actually having a baby and OMG we are going to become parents!
My hubby and I are both excited and nervous and just entering that stage of “will we be good parents?” I would really like to start planning for the baby but not sure where to start.
We have one baby book, but would love to hear about any other recommendations. I am keen to hear from ladies about what sort of planning they began in the second trimester or any classes they may have taken?
Looking forward to hearing any words of wisdom from experienced mommies!
Nervy first timer xxx
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Natalie_G
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Joined: 09 June 2008
Location: North Shore
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 1:13pm |
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Congrats on your pregnancy.
You can read as many books as you like but when you are in labour lol it all goes out the window. I found none of the books helped me I jsut took it as it came.
I did go to antenatal classes with my DH and I still don't think it was really needed, I read things on the internet which helped me know what to expect, if I could do it again I wouldn't have spent the money on books or courses I would have spent the extra on my baby lol.
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kebakat
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 1:37pm |
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Congrats!
I personally found antenatal classes a waste of time. I learnt more on this site reading what the girls on here experienced than what I learnt in class. Theres some good threads around like the birth stories one that gives you a whole raft of different experiences to read and its real.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 1:43pm |
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i found the only book i really needed was the bounty book... let me know what to expect etc.. there are some very god threads on here that have been stickied (so they are always available ) on what to get and what people found helpful and not helpful, and lots of people willing to give advice and share stories.
congrats!
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Bobbie
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 2:51pm |
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Congratulations!
I recommend not getting 'what to expect when you're expecting' - was a complete waste of space on my bookshelf to be honest. Like Bizzy said the bounty book covers that stuff really well and it's NZ relevant.
I also did find a book on practical parenting stuff which showed you with pictures how to wrap baby, bathe baby, express milk etc. etc. If you can find one of those I'd say very worthwhile.
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LouD
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 3:55pm |
I know as a first time mum you will want to read something.....but having access to the net you can get an up to date goings on and information joining a site that sends it to you.........try website
It gives you week by week pictures of baby etc but you can also find other useful stuff about whats going on. that combined with the bounty book that relates to NZ stuff should be enough.....
try and refrain from reading too many different books or sites cos they can be very contradicting.......and if you have any questions just post them on here and you will get a myriad of answers to chose from
Congrats and good luck....
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RinTinTin
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Joined: 04 February 2009
Location: Waikato
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 4:57pm |
Well I'm a first timer and yip, it was around about 12-13 weeks I went 'heck...where do I start"
I have read a few pregnancy books in the past but not since I've been preggy. Kaz Cookes book, "Up the duff" is hilarious but not a mandadtory read. It just puts the humour back into pregnancy.
The bounty book is really all you need to keep you up to date in a serious, matter of fact way.
Check out websites like baby city and baby factory, they have wonderful lists of things to buy (don't get caught up in online shoppping just yet tho). It doesn't really help with the "where do I start'" But I found once I had a list to go off, I felt a lot more prepared and had some direction and I could tick things off as I went and really felt like I was making progress. And you get lots of great tips and tricks along the way of things you can not buy or you can hold off on buying until baby is older.
I personally am going to go to antenatal classes, but more for babies dad to be apart of something than for me. In fact to be honest, I think the antenatal classes will probably make me nervous cause currently I'm so relaxed about the whole thing (ignorance is bliss) that I'm worried at antenatal someone will pipe up and say something that'll freak me out and I'll be a nervous wreck until the big day.
But seriously, this website is the best place to come and find out info and little "tricks of the trade". No question is too silly cause I gaurantee you someone else has wondered the same thing before. So fire away with any questions. Someone here will help.
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crafty1
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 6:35pm |
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I know a lot of mums find it useful to do the practical parenting classes at the Parenting Place. If you haven't had a lot to do with babies this will teach you the basics of baby care with an actual baby i believe. Bathing, nappies, clothing, what to put on their bed etc. Friends who went found it very good esp for any men who have never even picked a baby up!
I found the Oh Baby book really good for the discussion on labour and on parenting styles. She just gives really good commonsense kind of advice. More mum-to-mum informal advice style than expert-to-new mum. She doesn't tell you to do things one way or the other but describes some different options. We got our son home, woke up the next day and went sh#t what now and when? and quickly read the routine section in no time flat and it seriously was the best thing.
Also the Dunstan Baby Language DVD - that too was soooo good. You can get it from the library for $5 but wait till you've had your baby a few weeks.
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JoJames
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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 7:42pm |
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Hey Congrats, I didn't find antenatal class very informative, but we made some great friends and its great to get together with people to talk about babies, cause I don't have many friends with babies.
I would recommend "the happiest baby on the block" by Dr Harvey Karp, cause he has some great strategies to settle a new baby, you can find a lot of his techniques on You-Tube.
Otherwise, I would really just say, read books if you want to but be prepared that sometimes baby won't do what the book tells you and it can make a already stressed time more stressful. The happiest mum I've ever met was one who didn't read anything and just went with the flow she didn't stress that her baby didn't sleep through the night, she was great.
Good luck
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lisa85
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Posted: 07 August 2009 at 9:31am |
Bobbie wrote -
I recommend not getting 'what to expect when you're expecting' - was a complete waste of space on my bookshelf to be honest. Like Bizzy said the bounty book covers that stuff really well and it's NZ relevant.
I had that one and I agree nothing really helped in there but I do admit I loved the book just because each month it told you all the changes that were happening to you and bubs. I found that quite fascinating 
Congrats britgirl2009! It's such an awesome journey and I'm counting down the days until Jess will give the o.k. for us to have another I think the best source of advice I ever had was my Mum (and this site of course). I was on the phone 24/7 asking a million 'is this normal' questions lol.
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britgirl2009
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Posted: 07 August 2009 at 5:10pm |
Hey there,
Thanks for all the responses. I feel better after printing off some "what to buy lists" and researching a few classes and websites on the internet. Got the bounty book too! Thanks again for pointing me in the right direction
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sweets
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Posted: 10 August 2009 at 2:03pm |
Congrats 
I recommend The New Zealand Pregnancy Book.
I got mine of Trade Me for $10 and it's got everything in it!
Great to just have a flick through, also love coming onto Oh Baby!
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tarns
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Posted: 07 September 2009 at 8:50pm |
Congrats...it's such an exciting thing being PG
I knew nothing (really nothing) about babies before I had Nathan. We went to Ante Natal classes but they didnt teach me what I needed to know which was what the heck to do with that bundle of joy after it arrived lol. It was useful though to meet other parents to be for support and coffee groups afterwards.
Love Kaz Cookes book Up the Duff...no text book speak and a real laugh. I read so many books that I got myself in a state that I wasnt doing things `by the book' so to speak and as others have said, the books can contradict one another.
Beware of the baby buying lists ....there will be stuff on there you don't actually need - after all, they are retailers! But will give you an idea anyway...well enough from me 
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lilfatty
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Posted: 08 September 2009 at 7:10am |
Grab a copy of the Happiest Baby on the block, it will save your sanity when baby arrives
Also
The Baby Whispering DVD by Sharlene Poole has some great tips (includes what to buy for baby)
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I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  LFs weight blog
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cuppatea
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Posted: 08 September 2009 at 7:33am |
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Up the duff is good, I liked reading it each week as the pregnancy went along, she is pretty funny as well as informative
I found antenatal classes good for two reasons, it was good for DH, I could not get him to read a book and he reckoned that I could just tell him what was happening, erm not likely when you are in labour, so it really helped him. Ours were free so only took up some spare time. The other great thing about the classes were that we formed a coffee group and over two years later it is still going, plus two of the women I regularly see outside of coffee group as well so that part has been awesome and well worth the two Saturdays we gave up to attend.
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Paws
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Posted: 08 September 2009 at 7:42am |
I found "Up the Duff" funny as well, it was a good light read.
But to be honest as so many have said, I found most of the books went right out the window once labour started and Miss M was here.
We were ante-natal class drop outs seeing as we knew everything by the time we got there  and the people weren't the sort we were going to make life long friends with or even a coffee group. That said some people do find them really good.
I did read a lot but you do have to take a lot of it with a grain of salt, be prepared to reject what doesn't feel right and incorporate what does. So much can be contradictory and there are so many points of view! 
I personally did like the What To Expect books but as i say,I took them with a grain of salt. I also liked the NZ pregnancy book. Other than that, everything else came from talking on here and to people IRL.
Good luck and congratulations! It's an exciting journey you are on!!!!
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britgirl2009
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Posted: 08 September 2009 at 10:44am |
Thanks guys - funnily enough i have ordered a copy of "Up the Duff", just waiting for the book to arrive. Also, got antenatal classes booked through the Parent Centre - I heard they were pretty good.
Cheers for the feedback!
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colee25
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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 12:13pm |
hi ladies
am first time mum to be also and found all your posts very helpful too so thanks!
was mainly umming and ahhing about the whole antenatal class thing but think i will take everyones advice on that one and maybe give it a miss - like you amstaff i think they will freak me out more than do me much good! 
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T_Rex
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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 1:16pm |
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I've found antenatal classes to be great. I haven't learnt a whole lot new, but I've actually found having prior knowledge really good, cos it means I can question the tutor about stuff at the time, cos I don't need to process the basic stuff first. Plus its good to meet a few new people. Its been quite a bonding thing for DH and I - "OMG we are going to have a baby" kind of thing.
I spoke to my MW about the options, and she recommended a course that is mostly about the positive aspects of labour. Its taken away some of the unknown, without adding to the scary. Apparently some courses do focus a lot on the interventions, but your MW should be able to advise you if you discuss with her what kind you'd like. Our course did cover interventions briefly - what they are and how they work, but it has definitely made me feel more relaxed about things than worried.
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minik8e
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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 3:48pm |
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We only got to 3 of our antenatal classes, but I found them great. They gave us alternative ways to deal with pain, talked about labour, nutrition, pain relief during labour....and we didn't make any more. The next week's one was about c-sections funnily enough, and we turned up to it with photos of the girls (born by c-section). I would recommend them - they didn't scare us at all but gave us info about the various options and choices we had.
Ask around about who is best at running them though - we have three providers here in NP, and everyone recommended Parents Centre over the other two.
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new mum to be
