Tips on bed-sharing

I'm hoping this isn't as controversial as it perhaps once was - I don't want to start a debate so please if you are against it, don't post!

We've decided to bed-share as much as possible with our wee one who is due soon! I'd love to hear other parents' experiences and any tips you have on how to do it safely and successfully.

I had a chat to my midwife about it recently and she is totally for it and I was super excited to hear that she went without any sort of separate-baby-sleeping-surface with her daughter until she went into a single bed! We have a bassinet already for day sleeps when I want bubs out in the living area with me and can't be stuffed carrying her in the sling/wrap, but am now thinking we might be able to skip buying a cot alltogether if we can.


I'm particularly interested in:

Bed set-up and location
We have a nice firm mattress on slats on the floor with just the head pushed up to the wall. So no gaps for bubs to fall into and not far to fall if she did wriggle to the edge.

What bedding you used
We usually use a top and bottom sheet and a woolen duvet, and in winter (when baby is due) we would usually have a woolen blanket or two extra. Have read though that using a duvet isn't recommended but have also been told by people who have actually done it that they used a duvet and their normal bedding no worries.

Did you share your bedding with your baby?
One of my friends had separate bedding for her baby and said she was just cold a lot as she couldn't pull her blankets over herself enough sometimes!

What extra bedding does baby need, if any?
Been looking at super lovely cot blankets but wonder if we'll ever get to use them if we manage to skip the cot!

What does baby wear to bed?
Had been reading about sleeping bags and go-go bags and things but wonder if we would ever actually use them if baby was in bed with us!

Did you get a lot of support or criticism from people who found out you were bed-sharing?
Bit apprehensive of what parents and grandparents will think/say when they find out!!


Anything you've got to share on the topic would be fabulous as it's quite difficult to find information about it since it used to be so frowned upon!! We did find a book called "Sleeping with your Baby" from the library which was quite interesting but haven't really found much else giving actual practical advice on how to do it! Thanks in advance

I just remembered something else, there are these things that you can put in your bed and put baby in that. Its probably not worth the hassle if things go well but for me I lost a lot of sleep thinking she was lost under the blankets and stuff so it would of really helped me.

We have slept with both babies when they were little, and now have our 2.5yr old in with us most nights. Didn't plan on doing that but its what happened and as far as i'm concerned if you are happy then thats all that matters.

By the sound if it you have thought it all through and have things set up well so good luck I hope it all goes to plan for you.

I love snuggling in bed with my kids, both when they were little and now they are bigger.

Jake does a bit of both tbh. He sleeps on my chest sometimes (also something picked up in hospital after a c section, it was just so much easier than trying to get myself up and put back in his bed).

We have not mastered feeding lying down yet, but I do lay him next to me and he sleeps there for a bit or else he sleeps in his bassinet.

I think he would like to snuggle with Daddy at night too, but Daddy is to nervous

My family all agree, whatever works for you and your baby is what you should do. No one has passed comment on him sleeping with us.

I dont use and special bedding he just snuggles under the duvet with us. He normally wears a nighty with bodysuit or singlet and socks to bed.

I love the cuddles!

We co-slept with Issy loads when she was teeny, it wasnt so much a formal arrangement, more that we wanted to get some sleep and at the time that is where she would sleep.

I would sleep on my side with Issy cradled in my arm .. only because SD would have rolled on her .. in hospital after my emergency c .. the nurses popped her in bed with me at night, which I was a very scared about, but they said that I would never roll on her, so she slept the entire time with me.

We did have a cot, bassinette and hammock .. she would occassionally day sleep in her hammock, but mostly would only sleep on me (thank goodness when I got a sling!)

So .. in summary ... I have nothing against co-sleeping (although SD did end up sleeping on the floor most nights as his girls took up so much room lol) and would do it again if I needed to with Elias.

Having said that .. getting her to sleep on her own, was always the end goal .. we just didnt have a set time frame where it HAD to be done.

On a side note .. she was quite happy to sleep in her own bed from about 3.5 months (although she was still in the same room as us)

C was in her own cot from day one ,she was an easy baby , who worked well with her bed time routine , (and was and is very cuddly despite being in her bed ) I hope this one will be too, because I don't like sharing my bed, with anyone ,am tempted to ask DH to move out of it too )
Does bed sharing (the concept ) mean you do it every night and your bed is officially their bed too , or its something you both occasionally do together ?

Sorry , Don't know how to ask that without sounding offensive,i don't mean to be ,im genuinely curious .

Edited by caitlynsmygirl

We sorta co sleep. I do sleep so much better with C in his cot though. Plus I feel much netter with him in his bed with his monitor on.

The way I do it is lie on my side with my knees brought up & I have my arm under my head so essentially he can't go up or down. I never sleep deeply & if I wake again I put him back in his bassinette which is up hard against our bed.

In hospital he slept on my chest the whole time. I think he was only in the bassinette for me going for showers if DH wasn't there.

I did the same with Alia & she always ended coming into bed with us early in the morning, took ages for her to stop doing that once she was in her single bed.

I co-sleep with my 2yo son, it wasn't something I decided to do from day 1 ...it just happened and tbh I wouldn't have it any other way! I love having him close to me in my bed, and he seems to sleep so much better when he's in with me, as opposed to in his cot. But in saying this, I loved him being in his bassinette when little and I had it right next to the side of my bed. We breastfed for 2 years (started weaning at 23 months) ...up until 23 months he was still waking 2-3 times a night and it was much easier to keep him in with me iykwim. I'm so proud and surprised at how well he took to the idea of weaning, and that it hasn't changed our bond or that we can still co-sleep

I'm looking at selling his cot & mattress as he never uses it now, and once we move out into our own place I'll buy him a single bed that he can go into when he's ready.

Makes it easier though that I'm a single mother so theres no arguments over who gets the other side of the bed, although Lucas tends to starfish out in the middle and leave me hanging off the side of the bed LOL!

i think its a trial and error thing - see what works for you and baby - when ours sleeps with us he is under our covers - up to his armpits - does mean i get colder as im up further (his head at my breast level) so need to wear a warmer top. the body heat between us makes him toasty warm so doesnt need extra layers. we find that we dont tell people he sleeps with us as cant be bothered with opinions.
my baby was a prem and the home care supervisor is against it saying that there were 8 deaths in wellington last year from babies being suffocated in bed- she didnt give other details - ie weight, smoking alcohol, drugs....

When C was first home he sometimes ended up in our bed, although DH was actually sleeping in the other room at the time because C was such a noisy sleeper

I would generally sleep propped up a bit with C on my chest (he slept way better upright and on his tummy), but I have to admit I didn't really sleep well those times. Other times I would put him next to me on the bed, swaddled and with no blankets. I had just a sheet over me and keep C away from the pillows. The room temp is a good point - we don't have that issue being in the tropics, but YOU might get a bit chilly in winter if your top half is uncovered? Someone needs to make Grobags for adults