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jax
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Topic: Self settling Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:36pm |
Okay so, I might be wrong, so I just wanted to check... self settling is putting bub down for a sleep after their feed and / or play time etc, whether or not they are awake, and just leaving them to it for a bit if they start to cry - right ? (Then going back in, settling, and leaving them to it again... and repeat etc)
I mean, she's been having a bit more generally 'awake' time during the day which is fine with us, but we want to make sure she gets enough daytime sleep on the days she does this. The sleeping through that she's been doing isn't regular (yet! LOL), so I can't count on that.
So, any advice is greatly welcomed, in case I've missed anything
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:39pm |
self settling is putting baby to bed awake, but tired, and allowing them to settle themselves to sleep. Others may not agree but I think it is easiest if you can get them into some kind of routine, so you know they are ready to go to sleep. Up to you whether you leave them to it, or go in every 5-10 mins - we used to do 10mins (had to build up to that tho emotionally!!) and a few seconds befor e10 mins were up she would be asleep...
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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jax
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:45pm |
I'm not 100% she is ready for a routine just yet, but we'll see... I'm not actually entirely sure how to implement one  We have a rough 'cycle' going though, which is the feed / burp and change nappy / finish the feed / put down to sleep or play for a while THEN sleep... *usually* happens four hourly, but not always.
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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my2angels
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:48pm |
we do the same with addison, unfortunately there have been to many grandparents, aunts, uncles etc willing to walk or hold her until she is asleep which makes it harder if Im home with Kobe and trying to play with him and sort her out so I make sure that I leave her to settle herself as much as possible. At the moment for instance she is basically asleep but every 5 minutes she cries out wanting to be picked up so I am in the bedroom where I cant hear her and not tempted, its hard but i want to get her to self settle so if she does wake in the night I know she can get herself back to sleep.
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jax
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:55pm |
I'd like to get a routine going, but don't want to force it, it's just that it would be useful I suppose once hubby goes to work and maybe allow me a bit more time to get a few things done. But again, I'm still not too worried yet... well actually, I lie, if I wasn't worried I wouldn't have posted LOL It's just hard to know sometimes, isn't it?
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:02pm |
I started a routine at day 6 as follows:
7am up and bf, change, play on mat (its good if they have a good kick around to get tired)
8.30 - 10am sleep
10am bf, change, play
11.30 - 2pm sleep
2pm bf, change, play
3.30 - 5.00 sleep
5pm bf, play, bath, bf
7pm bed for the night
Then she would only wake once, maybe twice for a feed in the night, we had the evening to ourselves and I could plan things around her sleeps during the day.
As for starting it... I just started with the feeds at the right times and wakign her when she was due and it all fell into place within 2 days
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
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my2angels
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:07pm |
we have basically the same thing, but its 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm and 2am again. Hopefully it wont be long till we drop the 2am feed. She is often awake for a while after the 6pm feed and sometimes after the 10am one but otherwise she is feed, burped, changed, rest of bottle then quick cuddles and play then back to bed all within an hour at the very most.
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jax
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:16pm |
So just to make sure I read it right, you had things on a three hourly cycle right? Hmmm... I like the basic form of your routine a lot, so I will file that away for reference
I guess I get "what if" syndrome a lot, as in, "what if I start a routine like that but then she isn't hungry when she's due a feed" .... blah blah blah. Talk about an anxious over analytical new mum !
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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jax
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:17pm |
Mind you, I like your routine cycle too Robyn, but not so keen on the idea of being up at 2am *and* 6am... hmm... we shall see ! Something will work eventually
By the way, can you tell Erin is finally asleep now ?
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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emeldee
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:18pm |
To quote a great artist of the eighties, (Frankie Goes to Hollywood,) "But shoot it in the right direction,Make making it your intention-ooh yeah, Live those dreams, Scheme those schemes Got to hit me, Hit me, Hit me with those laser beams...." Or maybe just the bit about RELAX. You're doing a great job with a happy baby and the routine will emerge (and change) as time goes on. Don't try and get her toilet trained, reading, playing the piano and everything else too soon - part of parenting is the fun of the journey and the bumps along the way. The bumps are easier to handle when you are relaxed and confident that you are doing well (which you are).
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jax
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:20pm |
I think maybe mommy also just needs to make sure she has her own nap during the day too...
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 6:55pm |
For knowing when to put her down, watch for tired signs Jax... rubbing eyes and yawning and apparently jerky movements. (Tho they all seemed pretty damn jerky to me, so how you spot the difference is anyone's guess!)
I had Han on a 3 hourly routine too.
And I was bad... used to get Han to sleep any way I could... most of the time it was rocking her to sleep in my arms. Started the self-settling thing when I got sick of that and she coped fine!
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sleepy
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 7:09pm |
Ok - here's my question....I am trying to loosly follow the Contented Little Baby routine which is very similar to what you mention Aimeejoy BUT what happens if your baby doesn't self settle after 10 minutes??? What should the next plan of attack be... any suggestions would be appreciated?
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 7:52pm |
that basically is the gina ford routine sleepy  If she wasnt asleep after 10 mins I would go in and give her a little pat until she calmed down and then leave again - no eye contact no cuddles no talking etc. But we also used a dummy and it was and still is a lifesaver. My little disclaimer is that this is what worked for us and there are heaps of people who go by the other end of the scale and cuddle babes to sleep and dont let them cry. You just have to be confident in the decisions you make, try it for a few days and if its not working try something else until you are happy with how it is going.
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Aimee
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Greer 11/02/08
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Bizzy
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 9:04pm |
at the age your bub is jax i think that their total awake time should be approx 1hr. and they will prob want to feed every 3-4 hrs. i found in the beginning with both my boys that they just fell into a routine. well toby i had to wake him 3 hrly for a couple of days to get him started. so i think it was sleep, wake up, change, feed and burp, change again and a little play and then back to bed. and then do it all again 3 hours later.
and yeah self settling is letting the baby settle himself. i did it with my boys, just put them into bed and leave them to it. i knew if they cried for more than a couple of minutes then there was something else they needed...
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jax
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 9:11pm |
Sometimes Erin will spend a whole hour feeding, including her nappy change, or more ! Either that, or it will come in at just under an hour, but then she will be wiiiiiiiiide awake - and then we give her a bit of play time (tummy time on the mat or something) and try to settle her again. It's a bit of everything at the moment really ! She usually does want to feed every four hours, or at least that's roughly what we've been doing lately, but then other times it's every hour or two hourly... aaaaaaaargh. I think the other major thing that I haven't mentioned (although is probably fairly obvious by now), is that I'm not the most patient person in the world and should probably work on that as well ! Hahahaha.
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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lizzle
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 9:15pm |
You know, everyone says self-settling is a great idea - and we still make sure Taine is awake when he goes down, but just read that babies who are picked up at EVERY cry, and supposedly more secure as adults. How they know this I have no idea as I lie on surveys all the time - but it just gowes to show that we should just do whatever we want and screw experts - unless they work for us, then it's okay!
We had Taine in a routine from about 1-2 months I think, but took about two weeks of following hard-core til it was second nature. Even now, he doesn't sleep at set times, but I know he'll get up around 6-6:30. he'll need a sleep between 9 and 10...and so on.
edited to correct my crap mistakes that even i couldn't understand
Edited by lizzle
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my2angels
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Posted: 04 August 2006 at 11:52pm |
after the 6am feed we used to quickly do the housework, put on the washing, vacum etc then go back to bed until the 10am feed knowing we were getting up to a tidy house. It doesnt take long till the 2am feed is dropped so you get to sleep from about 10.30 till 6am and then baby will naturally move the 6am out to 7am as they get older and also bring the 10pm one back earlier.
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BabyCam
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Posted: 05 August 2006 at 10:01am |
Hi
I've been trying to self settle Cameron, and going in after 10mins but its just not working, he has just been awake through his whole sleep this morning and its time to get him up again. He does stop crying but just lies there with his eyes open. He used to be a really good sleeper but its gone down hill in the last two weeks. I'm wondering now if he is not getting enough in his feeds. But when I pick him up (when he should be asleep) he doesn't give any hungry signs. Im not sure what to do, any advice would be great.
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 05 August 2006 at 2:18pm |
If he isn't crying... maybe just leave him a bit longer and see if he will drift off??? I think the 10 minutes thing is for when they are screaming.
Or maybe he isn't tired enough. Put him down when you start to see tired signs and take note of when that time is and a pattern should begin to emerge.
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