infertile after abortion

Girls, really don’t know what to do! My husband and I have got married 4 year ago. All this time we’ve been trying to conceive a baby, but unsuccessfully. And actually I knew the reason why. When I was 17 I had an abortion. I had never told about it neither my parents nor friends. And I was so scared to tell about it to my husband! I thought he won’t understand and he’ll leave me. And I would never tell about it to my parents. They are very strict and spiritual people. Every day I hear “We want grandchildren!”, “Why don't you still have kids?”, “Don’t you want to become a mother?” Of course I wanted! I’ve been thinking about it every second of my life and still do! One day I plucked up all my courage and told everything to my husband. His reaction really surprised me! He actually supported me and he didn't understand why I was so afraid to tell him earlier. We decided to tell my parents about the reason of my infertility. But their reaction surprised me even more... They never talked to me after I confessed. Their words had almost broken me down.

Thanks to my husband, I gathered my spirits and we started to thinks about solutions. We want to have kids no matter what! Firs we tried IVF. We had 5 cycles and all of them failed. Each failure was unbearable. Each following cycle was like a knife in the heart. I blame myself and I understand that all this is only my fault. These feelings are tearing me apart! I just don’t know what to do and where to go... I want to stop this depression, want to start living, want to have a happy family and the most important – want to have children! We think about surrogacy. But where should we start our search? And also IVF procedures pulled a lot of money from us, so maybe you know clinics with affordable prices? I see here a lot of girls, who had surrogacy in Ukraine. What services and prices are there? Thank you for any info in advance!

Thank you for support and info. May I ask which clinic did you choose? Is there a possibility to pay in parts? I'm not sure we'll have almost €40 000 to pay at once. And I'm little bit afraid to give all money right away... How much does this VIP package cost? What's the difference? Do they have other packages? Sorry, so many questions. Hope for your help!

Sounds good! I've read about their packages on the website. Their prices are pretty low for such services. Especially if to compare with other clinics. I'm not exactly sure, which package to choose. I will discuss services and all you've told me with my husband. May I ask you how much time did it take for the clinic to find surrogate mother for you? Did they give you an opportunity to choose her by yourself? I'm not sure how all this process is established. I'm ready to wait for some time. But I want to know that the clinic doesn't protract with search when they get money. I understand that it's not easy to find surrogate mother in a couple of days. I just don't want to wait for years and waste more time. Btw where did your sm live during the procedure? Did she live with you or in the clinic? I guess that somebody should control surrogate mother. I want to be sure that she live healthy life, no alcohol and smoking.

Two months is very fast! I thought it takes not less than half of the year. Yes, I see the point. You're absolutely right, I didn't think about that... It's wrong to take mother away from her children. And for a baby it will be healthier to remain in full comfort. I can't imagine how it feels, when your child is so far away... How did you cope with this feelings and nervousness? I would give everything to be able to carry my baby by myself... But we should be grateful, that at least we can use surrogacy program. We will have to wait only nine months and then we'll be happy parents for the whole life! By the way, did the doctor check your baby after delivery? We all know newborn babies need to be check carefully. Did the clinic provide you with housing during your next visits? Or is it only one-off service? Were there any problems with documents for your child? What is the right way to prepare them? What should we consider to make everything 100% legal? I have so much fear, that we won't be able to take our baby with us!

Such a relief! I was nervous we won't be able to make all documents work correctly. We don't know how all this system is established in Ukraine. One mistake and everything will go wrong. I don't want to face problems in the beginning of parenting. Nobody wants! You've calmed me down! It's great news that clinic provides all this help. Thank you so much for your support! I will consider all information and each advice you gave me! Today we'll have decisive talk with my husband and take our final decision!

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and we have a second-grader son. The first time I got pregnant very easily, actually the first time. Yes, there were some difficulties in pregnancy, but overall everything is fine. When he was 5 years old, we decided to "run away" quickly for the second. It was to run, because you were sure that this time everything will turn out easily and effortlessly. But the new pregnancy did not come. In half a year - cheers, a positive test! And in a couple of weeks on ultrasound verdict - a fetal egg in the uterus there. At the ambulance I was taken from the clinic to the hospital, on the diagnostic laparoscopy confirmed ectopic and removed one tube. I was depressed, it seemed that this nightmare was not with me. Then it turned out that the second pipe was not passable either.

We decided - it means, it is not fated, and yet we already have a child. Couple of years lived quietly. And then on a scheduled visit to the new gynecologist, we got to talking to her. I told her that we wanted the second one, but it did not work, and it will not work out already. And she laughed -, collect the documents and try the IVF procedure. I wanted to - and why not?

When we entered the protocol, the ovaries were brought up a little - they did not react enough to stimulation, we had to increase the dosage. Five ovaries were drawn. We got four embryos, but two almost immediately stopped in development. The two remaining kids were decided to transfer to Mom on the third day, so as not to take chances. I began to make pregnancy tests after three days - I knew that it was useless, but I could not do anything about myself. On the eighth day there was a weak strip, a "ghostly ghost." But every day it grew brighter and clearer. I regretted only that one child was entrenched - we really wanted twins. On ultrasound in BioTexCom, where they confirmed the heartbeat, I wanted to dance and sing with happiness. Our first child is also very happy and not at all jealous. He is a big boy, and he saw how difficult this girl was for us. I'm delighted with my stomach. He participates equally in the choice of dowry and shows even more interest than her husband.

And I am immensely grateful to the whole staff of the clinic for the opportunity to once again feel the joy of motherhood! Thank you very much for your work!

Hello dear! I think you made the right thing that you came here. I have same thoughts on my mind. I'm so tired because of infertility. I know exactly how you feel. I should say this is really hard not to give up and just accept the situation. But when I think that I should accept childless life it makes me even more depressed. It seems like nothing can help and I will always be miserable. I was trying so hard to distract myself but nothing worked. I think about children 24/7. I think about my infertility, about my kidney disease, about my relationship with my husband. Even when I go out with friends or spend time with my family and relatives or watch TV or work I think about that stuff. I know exactly what you're talking about when you say people are constantly asking you about kids. I'm 47 and I have no children. Everyone around me had already become parents and grandparents. When I meet old friends of course the first question they ask is about children. At such moments I just want to disappear. I understand that this is not important what other people think about us. Everyone should mind their own business. We should always think about ourselves and what we think about our lives. But sometimes I just can't stop analyzing how people think about me. I am so afraid that someone will judge me or discuss me and my childless life behind my back. Today I met one of my old friends and she was with her kids. Obviously she asked me if I have children. When I told her that I'm thinking about using the services of surrogate mother, she just smiled and told me this is too late. And then she told our common friends about my surrogacy because when I met the other friend she asked me if this is true. To be honest I was shocked. I regret it I told about my surrogacy to someone who means nothing for me and who knows nothing about my life. One part of me understands that people going to judge you no matter what. So we should do everything what we think is right for us. The other part of me feels so vulnerable. This situation made me feel depressed. I don't want people to think about me in a bad way. I feel like I want to justify myself. Why I should feel this way? Those people will never understand how I feel and why I made my choice. Despite of the whole situation I decided to keep going no matter what. Surrogacy seems a very great opportunity for us. I won't let anyone to destroy my happiness.

Hello, unfortunately the mistakes of our youth so often remind us of ourselves in a mature and conscious age. But, unfortunately, this mistake can not be changed.
But, probably, such consequences after abortion happen not always.
For example, my cousin did three abortions.
And then she again became pregnant for the fourth time, another sister dissuaded her from abortion. She did not even tell us that she was pregnant.
We found out that she had three abortions already when the child was born from the fourth pregnancy.
When he was ill, we saw his card and in the information about pregnancy we saw the inscription that it was the fourth pregnancy.
We were in absolute shock.
And she gave birth to a healthy boy at 27 years old with a cesarean section.
Of course, the pregnancy was very difficult.
And a year after the birth of her first child, she had an ectopic pregnancy.
Now she has gynecological problems again.
Well, you should not despair, I think that surrogacy can help you.
For example, my friends on the way to surrogacy now.
They were already at the clinic abroad for an initial consultation. They really liked the clinic in which they were, so they are hoping for a quick start to the process.

Unfortunately, in our youth we do not think about the consequences of the actions that we perform. You may have committed a rash and impulsive act in a terrible fit of fear. Yes, most likely it is so, but everything is in the past. Therefore, you must abstract from past problems and negative emotions. You must do this in order for new positive emotions to come into your life. It seems to me that surrogacy is a good option for you in this case. My friends are also concerned about finding a good surrogacy clinic. They have already chosen several options for clinics in different countries. At this forum, a lot of participants advised them to Ukrainian clinics. Of course, they plan to visit one of them. But, the right choice for them is very important. After all, so many dishonest clinics exist in this area. And they would like the clinic to find a good surrogate for them. They would like her to be no older than 35, and have her own children.It is important for them that she be healthy and have a stable mental state. In addition, it is important for them that the clinic fully controls the entire process. After all, they will not be able to move to another country for the whole year. Since they work practical every day.

Hi Caroline! Well my dear you are still lucky to have a very understanding husband and he is still lovely with you and supporting you in all the ways so you should also take care of your emotions as he will be disappointed otherwise because of your silly mood swings. Well I am also searching for the best surrogacy clinic. I heard about a best one in Ukraine also but still I am just collecting information and searching as much as I can before going to do this because I really cannot afford to waste my hubby's money although he is very excited and wants me to get ready for this process as soon as possible.