miscarriages

Hi everyone! Need some info on surrogacy. I had 3 miscarriages in last 8 years. Doctors don’t know the reason why I can’t carry a baby. I’m scared to try again. It’s unbearable to loose children. I’m not sure I’ll cope with another loss. I think the best option for me is if surrogate mother carries our baby. Surrogacy is illegal in Italy. That means we have to find solutions abroad. First question is how and where to find surrogate mother? I know there are many agencies but their fees are so high. Maybe there is other ways to find surrogate mother. Will it be ok to look for her in the internet? I saw many girls who propose services of surrogate mother. Do we need a lawyer? I have no idea how to make everything in the right way. Second question is what are prices? How much should we pay and who states the price. What will we have to pay for? Any info will be great! Thanks in advance!

I appreciate your answered so fast! Thank you so so much for support. I really need it at this period of time. I thought no one will reply. It's been just an hour since I posted my thread. I'm so happy I can talk to you now! May I ask you, what was the reason you decided to use surrogate mother? I'm sorry this question is probably rude. Please don't take me wrong. I have no intention to offence you or make you feel bad. My inability to carry a baby is a very hard topic to discuss for me. It's painful even to think about this. I will understand if you don't want to talk about your infertility story. I just hope to talk to someone who understands. I don't know... It would be nice to talk to someone with pretty same problem. Maybe to feel that you're not the only one who has to go through this.

Thanks for all advices. I will consider all of them. Thanks for preventions about agencies and searching of surrogate mothers. I know about high fees which agencies take for services they propose. Some of them have too high prices, not reasonable at all. But I couldn't even think there are so many fake agencies and liars. There are a lot of them everywhere. But using our problem to get money is so unfair. I can't get it how people can be so evil. You are right. My desire to save money this way may be disastrous. I've never heard about these lows so thank you for telling. That's so weird that surrogate mother can leave my baby. How it can be so? Baby isn't hers genetically so how can she do that? Sure you can go to court to "fix" this but who wants to start parenting with court. Also I think adoption process can take plenty of time. I didn't know that clinics do search of surrogate mothers. I thought you should do it by yourself or through agency and then went to a clinic with surrogate mother. It's great to know about that. I'm starting to feel more confident at this topic) The only thing is I think that it takes less time for an agency to find surrogate mother than for a clinic. Maybe that's why they have so high fees. Maybe you could advise some websites which you used personally? I will be very grateful.

We are not able to have surrogacy in America. We were thinking about a loan but rejected this idea. I think it will be very hard for us in future when we will have a baby. We will have to care about child and buy a lot of things. I think it will be very hard to pay to a bank at the same time. May I ask you where do you have surrogacy? Why did you choose different packages? Was there something bad which made you to do so? I hope you will share some more details with me. It will help us in our search. Actually you've already helped a lot! Thank you so so much! I wish you good luck with your second journey! I will wait for your reply)

We are from USA. Unfortunately, surrogacy is very expensive and we couldn't afford to have it here. We began to look for clinics in other countries. We wanted to find the best doctors and, at the same time, affordable price. It turned out that this procedure is legal in Ukraine and there are a lot of clinics. Of course there are a lot of cheaters among them. We’ve found a lot of good reviews about our clinic in the Internet. Also my colleague at work told me, that her friends visited clinic in Ukraine a couple of years ago and surrogate mother carried a baby for them. So I asked her to give me their phone number to talk with them about this clinic. They told me about BioTexCom. They were very satisfied with the process and the result. So after our conversation my husband and I contacted manager of the clinic by mail. We thought that it will take long time to get the response. But in a couple of days we received a letter from the clinic with the questions to clarify the required info about my medical history. Also they needed our marriage certificate. After they got all required info we appointed date of our meeting with the doctor.

There were actually a couple of factors which made us to choose another package. It's called 'vip' by the way. It costs €49 900. The package we chose previous time was called 'standard' and costed €39 900. There is also 'economy' package for €29 900. You can look for all services by yourself on their website and choose the package, which suits the most. Both times the payment was divided into 5 rates. We didn't have to pay all sum at once which was and is great. It seemed to us 'vip' is more convenient. Needed blood tests are performed by the coming nurse domiciliary. We don't have to stay in lines and wait. Last time we were exhausted. There were a lot of people and we were waiting with hungry stomachs for a couple of hours(because you should eat nothing before blood tests). There are 20-30 couples in each turn. I should say that was not easy to stand in lines for hours. Yeah, we were talking with some of them and I can't say it was horrible. But anyway it was exhausting and we decided not to torture ourselves this time) Also the clinic provides all stuff for new born baby. Last time we carried all things with us. There were so many suitcases and bags. It will be more comfortable to have it already in Ukraine. Also parents are provided with the 24/7 phone consultation of a leading English-speaking pediatrician. If needed the leading pediatrician visits a baby upon request. We were so nervous and we didn't know what to do. Our son was crying. We didn't want to hurt him or do something wrong. So this service is very important in such situation! Also there is such service in vip package as babysitter from 9 AM till 6 PM. In standard package, babysitter comes for only 4 hours/day. We needed to do all arrangements with documents, payments, tickets and so on, so 4 hours was not enough for us. Also the clinic finds surrogate mother, who has already had a positive surrogacy experience. All these services made us to choose vip package this time. I can't say there is huge difference between packages. It's just a couple more services which will make our second journey a bit smoother)

I'm happy I could help! I understand your feelings. Such people as your mother's friend know nothing about privacy and they think they know everything about life. So they believe it's their life purpose to teach everyone how to live.

All packages include necessary services. So you pay single price and no more. The service was good enough. The clinic provided us with a taxi and taxi driver met us in the airport. So the taxi was carrying us to the clinic and other places we needed. Also they provided us with accommodation and food. All these were included into our package, so there was no need to pay extra money. We were afraid of language barrier too, but the clinic provided us with a manager, who spoke English fluently. So you have no reasons to worry about that! Their manager will always be with you and if you have questions, you may ask and you’ll receive clear answers. We really liked, that there was no intrusion from the manager’s side. She was standing a few steps away from us and when we needed her, she was coming to us.

Your husband made a great job) It's time for you to keep going! I know how it feels when all of your friends become parents so easily and you have to go through a lot of stuff to have kids. Anyway I'm happy we still have this option! So concentrate on your goal and very soon your dream came true) It may sound fishy but it works I promise)

Clients cannot choose a surrogate mother. Her appearance is not important here. Only her health and ability to bear a child matter. That's why the doctor chose sm for us. But don't worry! The clinic selects sm very carefully. The clinic provided us with all info about our sm and our son at least once per month. So we were completely informed! It is hard to be far away from your child and the clinic did everything for us to be sure that our baby is safe. It took the clinic 2 months to find sm for us. We actually thought it will take longer. So it was a real surprise! I wish you all the best hun! Don't be sad) Hope to see good news from you)

I hope you're doing great. We were thinking about finding sm among our relatives/friends or through fb groups or forums. Eventually we decided we don’t want to involve people we know into our surrogacy. That's really great that couples, who choose this way gain success and everything goes smooth. Unfortunately I've read so many stories about fraudsters who pretended to be sm. That's why we decided to choose kinda easier way and to find clinic which will take all arrangements on itself. Maybe it would be cheaper to find sm and do all stuff by your own, but we decided not to risk. We've gone through a lot during past 8 years. I didn't want to suffer again and to be stressed again. Anyway I'm really happy for everyone who had finally taken this step into surrogacy because after everything we've gone through we deserve to be happy parents!

evelina218698 wrote: I should say I had some kind of depression(?). Last weekend our friends invited us at the small home party. As it turned out they asked us to come to tell us some great news. And... They are pregnant. They've been together for 2 years. Actually my husband introduced them. I'm happy for them! I really am! But this news made me so sad... That's why I spent a couple of days just lying in my bad and thinking about my life. It's so unfair that everyone around us is getting pregnant. And we just can't... I'm so sorry for telling you this... I feel like only you can understand. My husband supports me and I'm so grateful. He told me that we still have chance to become parents and we have to use it. I decided that now it's not a right time to be sad. We need to continue what we've started. As we are thinking about going to Europe we'll "pretend" my pregnancy. I don't want rumors about our surrogacy. It will be the best variant for us to make everything seem natural. I have a couple more questions for you. I hope you don't mind) My husband and I talked a lot about Ukraine. We discussed all information you shared with me. Also we've found some details in the internet. We've looked through official websites of a couple of Ukrainian clinics. We think to visit not only biotex but also isida and nadiya. I wanted to ask you how did you choose surrogate mother? Does the clinic have some kind of database? And for how long did you wait to start the procedure? Thank you for help!

Hi, I communicated with many participants of this forum and almost all of them advised to visit biotexcom. There is an opinion that this clinic is the best option from the three clinics you listed. My friends are also interested in the question of finding a good surrogate. They have already read the price list in this clinic. For them, the standard package is the most acceptable. However, the VIP package attracts them more. First of all, because if they choose a VIP package, the surrogate will be found more quickly. And this is quite a big privilege, it is a significant time saving. As far as it became known, the economy package will no longer be available this year. Although they were not upset at all, since the waiting time for the selection of a surrogate will increase significantly. And for them it is completely unacceptable in this situation. In fact, information about such clinics is not as much as we would like. Therefore, in this case it is the forums that help to learn more. In addition, it is an excellent platform for discussions of various centers of reproductive medicine. And thanks to users, you can learn more about different doctors and different methods of work with a particular issue. Also, my friends would be very grateful if you told something else about these clinics.