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MummyFreckle 
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Joined: 08 February 2007
Location: Auckland
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 Topic: Tears & Tantrums
Posted: 25 August 2008 at 5:07pm |
I dont know whether its a phase that they go through (maybe someone can tell me it is... )...but I am really struggling with Oli throwing tantrums and being really demanding at the moment. He used to sit really happily and play or crawl around, but now he is constantly trying to climb up my legs, but doesnt want to cuddle when I pick him up - just wants to climb on me or pull my glasses off, or get to something behind me...get the idea? He is really strong too, which makes it hard to keep hold of him if he is wrestling to climb over me.....
If I take something off him, or I move something away from him (ie a magazine which he wants to eat or the phone which he wants to eat....pretty much everything goes in his mouth!!) then he has a tanty...arms flapping, screaming and kicking tanty. Is this normal for a 10mth old or do I have a problem baby on my hands???
Today I have found myself getting really frustrated with him, as he has grizzled and tanty-ed all afternoon, the grand finale being when he was trying to climb up onto the side table and proceeded to knock my laptop off (pushed well back away from him - but he lunged at it!!). I have found myself wishing the goblins would come and take him away....
(I dont really want that - I just feel really frustrated, and dont know what I am supposed to do....its wearing me out!!)
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kiwikid
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 7:06pm |
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MissAngel
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 7:10pm |
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Me and my best friend discovered the best way to stop her son from having a tanty, was to throw one ourselves. A little bit embarrassing in public, but it sure worked!
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Alex, Thomas and Lily 
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MummyFreckle
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 7:18pm |
I can imagine that works when they are a little bit older, but given he is only 10mths...I dont know what my options are. I generally try to ignore it or distract him with something else, but he is getting harder and harder to manage when he throws them!
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sparkle
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 8:15pm |
Sorry, did you say your son was named Cooper..........oh hang on, that's my child!!! You have just described him to a tee!!
I have no words of wisdom as I am going thru the exact same frustrating experience as you. Our tanties are mainly happening around bed time though (as I sit here typing he has been screaming for about an hour - has had pamol, a feed, a change so I know nothing is actually wrong!)
Big hugs
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DJ
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Location: Wellington
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 8:17pm |
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I'll be reading this with interest Sam!
Anyssa is just starting to tanty a bit - like if she wants her bib off when she is eating, or if I need my keys back. I've been using distraction mostly, but will be keen to hear other advice.
I've found it works (sometimes) if I ask her for my keys and she gives them to me, rather than taking things from her. The tanty seems a bit less at least!
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Mum2ET
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 8:25pm |
when Ella does this, I normally just walk away or try and distract her with another toy (or pointing at the cat). most of time it is just attention that she wants, so if I go into another room she would much rather follow me than carrying on crying....then I use just give her a quick cuddle and all is forgotton (until next time).
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Mum to
Ella (5) and Tom (2)
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Alianasmummy
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Joined: 28 July 2008
Location: Golden Bay
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 8:55pm |
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I feel all your pain. My son is 2 1/2 now and still throws the mother of all tantrums but when he was that young i found putting him in his cot until he had calmed down (visiting him every 10 mins to make sure he knew i hadnt abandoned him) worked. He still had the odd one but he worked out pretty quickly that it didnt get him any where... I should be taking my own advise with the tantrums he throws now!
I had to leave a parenting class the other day because he wouldnt stop crying for no reason other than he wanted to go home.
The advise they gave me was if its a panic (scared) tantrum give them a cuddle, it will calm them. If its a control tantrum, actively ignore it 100% or they will always do it.
Hope this helps
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emz
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Posted: 26 August 2008 at 4:04pm |
OMG you wrote a post for me! Jack has just started these, driving me bonkers! Slams his head into the ground and kicks and screams if I take a toy away or I leave the room for 5 seconds to go to the toilet!
I've just been trying to ignore him and then I'll put him to bed if he's being super silly. But glad (well not glad but YKWIM) to hear others go through it too. Hope it doesn't go for too long, we should get a break before the terrible twos.. shouldn't we?
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2bmumof3
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Posted: 26 August 2008 at 8:42pm |
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Um, I was always told not to put them in their rooms etc as this is a happy place for them and by making it their naughty place as well it sends mixed and confusing signals. Whatch for warning signs i.e are they getting frustrated trying to do/get something, as you may be able to prevent it from becoming a full blown tantrum. Once at the tantrum stage it's dependant on the reason why as to how to deal with it, as mentioned earlier if it's from panicking then cuddles if they let you, if they're naughty then completely ignore them (make sure they're in a safe place, my son used to bang his head on the floor) and as soon as they start to subside then cuddles and distraction.
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Sara
Corban (22/11/04)
Connor (18/04/06)
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NikkiB
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Posted: 27 August 2008 at 6:51pm |
 SimSam.
I have heard that formula or food could make babies/children misbehave like this. Have you changed formula lately or given him anything new to eat?
I hope this helps
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A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys:
RB 3/10/2008
JB 29/12/2009
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MummyFreckle
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Posted: 27 August 2008 at 7:54pm |
Hmmm...we havent changed formula, but we are trying lots and lots of new finger foods. Today we tried pineapple which he loved!
I am now taking the approach of either ignoring him completely, or making the same noise and the same action - which he then thinks is funny so its a good distraction.
He has been a bit better the last few days, I think he is worse when he is tired (obviously) or when he is uncomfortable with his teeth.
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Neeks
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Posted: 27 August 2008 at 8:06pm |
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Keziah threw her first official tanty today... she wanted to push the keyboard buttons and DF said no and pulled her away so it started, so I came along and took her away she calmed down for about 2 seconds then she tried to grab at something on the table... I said no and moved her away from it and again she threw a tanty.... she was REALLY angry and was growling and carrying on so I put her in her cot and said 'you can stay in here until you calm down, and think about what you have done' (just like we do to the others) and left the room, closing the door behind me...she screamed and growled for about 5 minutes before it stopped completely, so I went in and she was calm again so I got her out....
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PippaLockysMummy
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Posted: 27 August 2008 at 9:00pm |
omg yes! my son has started throwing massive tantys too! hes 13mths so a bit older than yours but still doesnt change the fact its kinda scary! I seriously didnt think they started this young! But as my dad put it he may be starting early and might finish early (well i hope so!)
Tonight i was cooking dinner and gave him a banana to eat because he was getting grizzly coz i wasnt paying attention to him, clinging onto my legs etc. He could see the food and was going "ta ta ta" and i said no you just had a nana you can wait 5 more minutes. Omg did he throw a wobbly or what! he droped to the floor and put his head on the floor and was being really dramatic and screaming and crying. It was actually quite funny i had to try not to laugh but its so not fair i thought i had at least another 6mths before this started
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Jennz
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Posted: 28 August 2008 at 1:15am |
Yep I've got one of those too! I pop her in the next room or leave her if we're at home- that usually stops it pretty quickly. She does them in public all the time too which is highly embarrassing but I don't know what to do about that yet
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Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Tears & Tantrums
