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Danaj 
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 Topic: DH staying at home
Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:58am |
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Anyone else getting dad's to stay at home when you go back to work? My DH is taking 6-8 weeks off with bubs when I go back in May. It think it's great for bonding and I was wondering who else was doing it as the whole "Man Work, Woman Cook" thing seems to be fading big time.
Also makes a diff if you earn more than them.
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ginger
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 9:00am |
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We're not doing that (DH earns more than twice what I do!), but DH is taking extended leave when No.9 is born - he's applied for 4-6 weeks off. The 6 is in case of a c-section so he can do the stuff I can't, but otherwise, 4 weeks so we can all settle in together as a family. Plus we don't have family close, so it'll be good for the 3 of us to work it out together.
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Roksana
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 9:26am |
Awww....Thats sooo nice!! My DH took 1 week off when I had DD but I told him to take atleast 2 weeks this time around as there will be a toddler in the house too......
I earn nearly 2 x more than DH but since I plan to Breastfeed this one too...its no use him staying home! He is already soooo good around the house, cleaning, cooking etc. I cant complain.
But yah if he willing then its great!! 
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kebakat
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 9:32am |
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Dh earns more than I did so he had to go back to work but he did take 4 weeks off when he was born and it was excellent!
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lilfatty
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 9:41am |
There are a few SAHD's on this forum.
My DH is one of those  We decided very early on in my pregnancy that we wanted a parent at home with Isabelle fulltime ... we tried to work it so that it was me, but unfortunately I earn quite a bit more than DH so I came back to work and he looks after her and the house (he doesnt cook though lol).
We did however move into Parnell so that I am a 5 min walk away from them during the day, so I see them both everyday when they call into the office.
Edited by lilfatty
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Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  LFs weight blog
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 10:03am |
My DH took 3 weeks off when Michaela was born and then quit his job to be a SAHD when she was 5mo and I went back to work fulltime.
Like lilfatty we decided we wanted one of us looking after our precious child but since I earn more, work for a great company and enjoy my job more than he did his me going back to work was the obvious choice. I BFd too until 15mo so that was hard with me working fulltime but it's possible.
Now DH works fulltime too in a job he enjoys and for a great company but we've organised our hours so that Michaela's still being cared for by us. I work from 7:30am - 3:30pm, DH works from 2pm - 9:30pm and during the crossover time (which is Michaela's nap time anyway) my MIL looks after Michaela.
Next time around I'll be taking longer off but DH will still work nights because the opportunity to spend daylight hours with our children and the beautiful relationship he has with our daughter as a result of being so involved in her care is priceless. I'm also hoping he'll take a month off directly after the birth next time around.
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jaz
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 10:18am |
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We split my parental leave and DP has now gone back part time (evenings) while I work 8-4pm. It works relatively well. I have the odd meltdown about lack of housework etc but we've been able to accommodate the bigger ones during school holidays and with their extra curricula activities more by having one of us home at all times.
I continued breastfeeding with DP topping up one bottle during the day unless we met for lunch in which case Caleb got a breastfeed. My salary has taken a couple of big leaps and I now earn about twice what DP does so I guess this is a contributor. Although the main decision for DP being home is that his other children were in full time daycare pretty much from birth so this is his chance to take an active father role.
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 11:10am |
 jaz wrote:
the main decision for DP being home is that his other children were in full time daycare pretty much from birth so this is his chance to take an active father role. |
My DH really wanted to take an active father role too. His dad died when he was 3yo and his mum worked 3 jobs so he was always at daycare or being looked after by his siblings. So essentially he had a parent free childhood. I think this is one of the big reasons DH didn't want Michaela put into care.
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mrshouse
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 11:29am |
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im a SAHM for now and when this one arrives and turns 6months DH will become SAHD.........DH loves being home taking care of miss1 and the household.....and id prefer to work!......so it works out pretty good.......when miss1 was 4months DH stayed with her for 2weeks and i have to say it was great! if youre the kind of person who likes to come home and the household stuff is taken care of- and he likes to do that- then its great!
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AzzaNZ
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 11:35am |
DH is a SAHD which is leaving me in a bit of a quandry about what happens when we have a second child.
I want to stay home and breastfeed for 6 months but we wont cope financially without my salary 
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maysie
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 11:42am |
Not possible for us as DH earns triple what I do. He will be taking 2 weeks off when our one finally arrives and he's also considering going back to a rotational position, 2on 2off or similar so we get more time as a family. That's great that you have the option to do that. I wonder if Im too much of a control freak to handle it myself though  lol
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kiwisj
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 12:39pm |
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My DH also earns loads more than me and our plan is for me to be a SAHM at least until all our kids start school. We're just working out now what DH might do when the baby arrives .. at this stage we're thinking he will take 2 weeks leave and then work 4-day weeks for a couple of months (or as long as he can).
Good to see what everyone else is doing to get some ideas! I think DH would love to be a SAHD but he will always earn far more than me so the best we can hope for is for us both to work part time at some point.
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SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
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NeoshasMummy
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 12:54pm |
Not possible here as DP earns and extra $800 a week than I did on my wage and he only took 5 days off when Neosha was born... 4 days I was in hospital recovering from a c section and the 5th day he moved our whole house to a new placce, this was my first day home then he was back at work after that working 6 and a half days a week. Talk about stressful! Next time he will be having 2 weeks off. I really WISH he could be a SAHD becuase he thinks its so easy pfffft yeah right. 
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 Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007
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lilfatty
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 12:59pm |
NeoshasMummy wrote:
I really WISH he could be a SAHD becuase he thinks its so easy pfffft yeah right. |
Yep my DH thinks he has the "easy" job now ... although he missed the entire newborn hell part!
Lol .. in saying that ... he conveniently forgets that I did all the washing, housework and cook on top of looking after Issy. But he does pretty good for a mere male 
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I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year LFs weight blog
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cealz
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 5:21pm |
My DH is going to be a SAHD
I am going to have about four and half months off and then we are going to swap.
DH manages the cafe we own so he will still be able to oversee without actually working there fulltime which will be good.
He is super excited about being a stay at home Dad
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Mum2L
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 7:04pm |
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DH will be a SAHD, as I need to go back to work after my PPL finishes, plus I have to go back to full-time study to finish my law degree.
But when the baby is 6 months old, we will put him/her in at the law school creche for 2 days a week, so both DH and I can have a break and get stuff done on those days.
I suppose in the end, it is about compromise and taking into consideration each others needs.
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MummyFreckle
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 7:56pm |
My brother has been a SAHD for the past 3 1/2 years. He loves it, and his little one is such an amazing wee fella. He is a musician so he can still do his thing on nights when he needs to....although he has pretty much given it up to concentrate on being a daddy. I know he has found it tough as they live rurally and he doesnt drive, but the playgroups etc that are within walking distance he found were a little cliquey and he felt really judged by the mothers that all knew each other. He doesnt have a lot of confidence around new people so for him it was hard.
I think in some circumstances SAHDs can find it harder to join groups etc, but I guess it depends on the guy!
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peanut butter
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:03pm |
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I earn heaps more than my DH but he loves his work more than I love mine so he keeps working and I work part time.
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busymum
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:10pm |
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I think we earn about the same. Anyway it just worked out for us that I went back to work last year (Oct) and DH stayed home. When we have our next baby, I'm taking 3-6mos off then leaving all at home again. It doesn't bother me too much which of us works, but this is just how it's working for now and my job can hold open.
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peachy
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Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:18pm |
My DH didn't take one single day off when Lauren was born 
I actually found it easier to get myself into a routine etc with him not around. He couldn't do a hell of a lot anyway, I was b/f and was exhausted most of the time. He did the odd feed of expressed breastmilk, and the odd bath, but thats it really.
We earn't exacty the same money, except that DH is self employed, so it was more sensible for him to go back to work than me!
DH pretty much does all the caring for Lauren in the weekends, even though I am around the house and help him out, I think its good for him to have one on one time with Lauren without me butting my nose in!
DH works very long hours, but its a catch 22, if he doesn't work long hours, then I have to go back to work and neither of us want that!!
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DH staying at home
