Feeling Crap

I feel like the worst mum lately. Joy is not well and has gone right off food. I feel so bad for not being able to get her to eat and I feel so much judgement from others over the way I do things. She is so grizzly and I'm so frustrated..DH is gone for most of the day and comes home and does more work so we hardly spend time together...
I know there are mums out there who don't get time off at all so I'm not in the worst situation but I just feel so down and negative towards Joy and don't see a way out. My attitude to her often makes her cry or be upset and that just makes everything worse. I have this adorable little girl that I've always wanted but I am hating my life so much right now.
Worst thing is I feel like Joy hates me.

Edited by sunnyhoney

Sunnyhoney!!!

Poor you! Is she still taking milk well? If so, I wouldn't stress too much about the solids. I think bubbas just know that they shouldn't eat when they are sick. I was stressing myself out about this when A was off solids for almost 4 weeks after being sick - plunket told me not to worry about it and that it can take a month for bubbas to regain an appetite. She has been ravenous for the past few days - I'm sure Joy will also let you know when she is ready to eat again.

Joy loves her Mummy to pieces!!!! Take her out to the park for a swing today and have some fun together!!!

 Hope Joy starts feeling better soon, dont be too hard on yourself!  And bugger what anyone else thinks, Im sure you are doing a great job with her.  I remember posting something similar a few months back!  You are her Mummy and she s you!

SH you are a fantastic Mum and don't you forget it! Big hugs to you, I know how hard it is to try to be the best Mum possible, it is blimmin hardwork and some people don't give you credit for it. You are doing a wonderful job, Joy is always happy and playful all the times I have been around her.

We have organised a catch up again on the 15th, would love for you to come along and catch up again!

have you thought about putting joy into daycare for a couple of mornings a week?   charli started when she was about joy's age and she loved it! it was great to have that time for myself too.   we started with 2 mornings a week 3hrs at a time

How are you and Joy doing today?

Hey SH - shall we form a club?!?!

I know exactly how you are feeling...you have seen my recent posts. Its tough going and some days it all seems too hard doesnt it!

You are not a bad mummy, and Joy does not and will not hate you. We have seen you with Joy and she is a "joy"...and a very happy wee thing, you arent doing anything wrong at all!

I think this weather is making everyone cranky and depressed too.....its hard when getting out is a mission, and you cant even go outside into the sunshine for a breath of fresh air!

Once we are all well in this house, if you wanted to drop Joy over for a playdate with Oli whilst you have some time out...then thats cool with us!

 

Hope your appointment goes well. I agree with Sam, this weather certainly doesn't help.

It's so hard somedays not to get frustrated when bubs suddenly changes from eating well/playing well to this strange wee thing who won't do anything they used to. I know you said that you know of other Mums who don't get a time out, and are in a worse situation, but everyone deserves that break every now and again, and if we didn't feel the way we do/did then we wouldn't fully appreciate all the great things. I haven't meet you or Joy, but from what I've read, you are doing a great job with her.

If this were a full-time paid job and you came up against a problem what would you do, ask for help right? Well that's what my MMH person asked me one day, which made me feel better about putting my hand up - or reaching out to you guys for ideas, or even just sharing the problem. Sometimes I think that this motherhood thing is one of the biggest challenges that we will ever get, (and without that manual! ) but also one with the greatest rewards

That's great SH - smiles can make a big difference, eh? Poor sick Joy though, hope things improve for her soon. I'm sure talking to your counsellor will help you out even more.

I totally agree about the weather thing - it's amazing what a difference a walk outside on a sunny day can make!

Things are going well here, but I've had to make an effort to organise time out for myself (getting out of the house during weekends, or evenings after T is in bed). I think that's really helped refresh me, IYKWIM?

Hugs Sunnyhoney, glad to hear things are a wee bit more positive.

For what it's worth, I'm sure Joy doesn't hate you! I've had all sorts of attachment issues with the gremlins, to the point where we are having therapists come in to help with the bonding, but they have all said that no matter how detached *I* might feel, it's obvious that THEY are perfectly well attached to me, they have no idea how conflicted and guilty I feel, they just know I'm their mum and they love me. I'm sure wee Joy is the same - she knows that you love her and that you are her safe place.

Sam and I are gonna organise coffee real soon, maybe you could come along too? Would get you out of the house, and the gremlins are great entertainment value