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ElfsMum 
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 Topic: dummy/wrap and childcare
Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:16pm |
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now thaknyou to those who have commented already just thought I'd ask others as well.. my son requires me to get up sometimes 5/6 times to replace dummy adn sometimes after a sleep cycle it willdrop out, wake him up and he won't settle again...during the night he's been great going straight to sleep but anyway.. is he too young to wean the dumym off him? at the moment I'm tryign to let him grizzle for a few mins at a time... and maybe lengthen it? not sure..i don't like letting him cry properly but grizzling i can deal with..
as for wrapping.. he seems to be doing ok with a wedge thing to keep him on his back ...trying it as an inbetween between wrapping and not wrapping as he hates it but it helps him sleep better...
and my mother suggested i put my name down for childcare today.. to which that evoked an interesting talk.she said i should just in case i want some later ..and i said i wasnt sure.. and I would be so picky(having been a prechool teacher for so long) and I dont want fulltime care and that seems to be the go for centres atm..(even though they really cant insist on that)
hmm so what to do...go looking just in case so i can work parttime? or get an in home career(which i would prefer but my mother wouldnt..she still forgets that I'm not 10 anymore) what have other people done? I relaise waiting lists are long and wont get any shorter but the thought of leaving him at preschool at the moment (or even soon) is not one I'm happy with..but i realise i have to look ahead...?
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popcorn
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:35pm |
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Can you rock him to sleep instead or replace the dummy with a muzzie or other lovie type thing that he can suck? SOmething light he can pick up himself and put in his mouth, can he co-ordinate that yet? I cant remember when T learnt to do that
As for childcare Im also a preschool teacher, are you going to be teaching in a preschool? wouldnt it make sense for you to have him at the same place as you are working? as long as you arent working in teh same room as him?
Other than that I would choose a qualified in home carer if possible until he was a bit older and more socialable but that is only my opinion!
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cuppatea
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:35pm |
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I thought that Spencer didn't like being wrapped but plunket convinced me otherwise. If he sleeps longer wrapped then he must be happy being wrapped. If you persist with it then it won't be long before he sees it as a sleep cue.
If you want him to be able to suck fingers rather than a dummy then there are ways of wrapping that allow their hands to be up by their face so that they can suck on fingers but there arms can't fall out and startle them. Either plunket or a karitane nurse should be able to show you how to wrap him like it.
Personally I would let him have the dummy for a bit longer. You could start giving it to him as a last resort though and wean it that way.
As for the daycare, first tell your mum to butt out Ethan is YOUR baby not hers and it is up to you and your DH what childcare you use. It is a long time since she had to worry about childcare etc and a lot changes in 30 years. If you are more comfortable with in home care then perhaps start looking into that first and then find out about putting his name down at childcare centres as a back up plan.
I suppose the other thing to look at is whether you need childcare at all, do you have to go back to work early that early? I'm sure putting a 3 year old into preschool would be different to putting a 3 month old into childcare. IYGWIM
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popcorn
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:41pm |
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www.sleepstore.co.nz have diagrams on all different ways to wrap if you choose to go down that path, I know T was still wrapped at that age but he loved it
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kebakat
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:47pm |
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Daniel was weaned off his dummy by 2 months. We ended up wrapping him backwards from how we had been. So having it go around his neck/shoulders and then crossing over at his back rather than the front (does that make sense?) and it was fairly loose around his hands so he could have them up by his mouth and suck on them if he wanted to.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:51pm |
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he cant coordinate that just yet..nearly though..i just worry bout it going over his face..would he wake up after a sleep cycle if he realised he didnt have it?
yeah i jus twonder for at home care do i need to put his name down..it would be in a bout a year..if im not pregnant..? and no i dont believe in having him at my preschool..(long story just seen it really go pear shaped several times and its not for me...) i may go back to releiving but at this stage not full time teaching..
cuppatea- hmm if he sleeps longer wrapped he must be happy ...I'm not sure bout that..he doesnt have a choice:) lol..like he sleeps longer that way because he cant startle.. he seemed happy int he wedge but i wrapped him and put his dummy in and replaced it 5 times:( grrr..and he went to sleep.. (weird how when it's night time he doesnt cry much at all)! maybe he just likes being up and playing:)
yeah it says it in my book but i think he'd still be able to get out..and plunket was useless..didnt even show me how to wrap him when i asked.. :( but I'm transferring so they may be able to help :) yeah i might be a little tougher with it..:) i dont mind the dummy as such..just the getting up all the time:)! sometimes he laughs after crying when we go down there..
yeah i need to get tougher with my Mum...I'm trying.. really if i stopped letting her pay for things she would probably butt out.. so i think I'll do that! Dh often thinks i need to tell her to pull her head in.. ithink she was trying to be constructive..but really I'[m a teacher so i do know what she was telling me!
yes that is true botu preschool.. i will probably do 1/2 days of in home care if i dont get pregnant.. and then kindy.. i just wonder if at home care has a long waiting list?
simone..i wish he loved it...if i put dummy in first he wont fight it..if i dont ..or it drops out.. he fights all the way and i hate forcing him:( !! DH thinks i should leave him 3-4 mins (unless really upset) and then go in adn put it in and for him it seems to work as he does it once or twice then thats it..not so with me.. (thankyou guys for your advice you made some good points)!
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:52pm |
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why did you wrap him backwards? and how did you wean the dummy? or did you just take it off him?
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:53pm |
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oh and generally i would rather not rock as i dont wan him in that habit..but i guess it would be quicker:)
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kebakat
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:55pm |
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When I had issues with his sleeping I went to the family centre and the first thing she did was wrap him backwards. His hands were still confined so couldn't really startle but it allowed him to have his hands up by his face and suck on his hands if he wanted to. He slept sooooo much better like this.
We just stopped giving it to him. I got sick of replacing it all the time. So after a couple of harder days of getting him to sleep no more dummy. I just used other methods for getting him to sleep like rocking his cot and patting etc
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:02pm |
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hmm ok.. i will try that.. I'll ask ...hopefully having appointment this week with someone.. and if not will ring and organise family centre..
yeah maybe cold turkey isnt so bad..oh i dunno..will see...I'm just so over getting up every sleep cycle and every ten mins to replace it.. during the day he sleeps in car seat or pram not wrapped and mostly without the dummy (though if we are at a persons place i do)
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:03pm |
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can actually rock his basinette or cot(hes going into cot soon.. but it wont matter if i gently rock him ?
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ShellandBella
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:11pm |
He is still so little, that I'm sure wrapping and/or dummy are fine until maybe 6 months or so. Having said that, if its really annoying you that he keeps waking for the dummy, its probably best to just get rid of it. Having just gone through this myself with an 8 month old  and made it through the other side, it isn't as bad as you think, if you can deal with having a couple of unsettled days. Perhaps you can try using the wrapping as an alternative to the dummy so that he will realise that that is his new sleep cue...? And as for childcare, I know people say the waiting lists are horrendous, but I, myself, haven't had an issue (Bella is at her 2nd daycare due to us moving). I guess you have to figure out what you are doing in terms of returning to work etc. and what sort of hours you will need - and its likely something you don't want to be thinking of now, so maybe leave it for a few more months...?
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:23pm |
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yeah i have decided i will do at home care and i think though not sure waiting lists are smaller so it give me more time.. i dont want him at the bigger centres (mostly due to bigger numbers of under 2's) so would take ages for a spot if they accept parttime ones ...so would have had to think about it soon... and I'm going to chuck the dummy and keep the wrap...thanks everyone:)
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popcorn
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:30pm |
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sounds like a good plan to me! even if a few mins before the end of a sleep cycle u go in and rock/pat/shh him back to sleep
and I know what you mean about pear shaped, its hard watching other people look after your baby and do things that you don't necessarily agree with. Its hard also cause you cant say the things you would like to say to his teachers like please put on the barrier cream that I have put in his box! aaaa!
anyway good luck and let us know how u get on, I also wrapped T backwards and it works well sort of like a pekemoe
Its really hard to get a good inhome carer up here but might be different down in chch, and if your a teacher you are probably as atrociously fussy as I
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NikkiB
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:58pm |
A few months ago I finally got rid of the dummy because I was getting up 5 - 6 times a night to put the dummy back in  What I finally realised is that by using the dummy, R had forgotten how to self settle. I started slowly with getting rid of the dummy. I started with the first day time sleep, where I wouldn't offer him the dummy. I then did it for the 2nd sleep of the day, and so on until it was only at night that I was giving him the dummy. Then one night we decided that was it and patted/shh'd R to sleep. We had a few difficult nights, but looking back, its been so worth it! We now have a baby that sleeps between 10 - 12 hours a night 
As far as wrapping goes, I still wrap R. Eventually I want to get rid of wrapping, but he sleeps so well being wrapped...happy baby, happy mum!
Good luck!
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A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys:
RB 3/10/2008
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Mum2ET
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 8:11pm |
Ella is currently in home based care (2 days a week) and I can't recommend it highly enough- especially for young babies. Ella has such a good relationship with her carer and really loves going over there. I feel confident that she is getting the individual attention that she needs at this age, but also getting socialisation with other kids (her carer takes her once a week to a playgroup with with home based kids). I didn't really have a problem finding a carer....not sure if there is a waiting list or not, but as soon as I called they called me back with a couple of names/numbers of carers who would be suitable and I was luckly enough to find one that I got along with really well. We plan to keep Ella in home care until she 2- 21/2 and then will put her in day care.
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BellaBoo
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 9:51pm |
We had the same problem with the dummy. Man it was frustrating!! We noticed that she had started to find her fingers/thumb so we wrapped her with one arm out so she could use her thumb to self settle. Now she goes to bed without a fuss and will not take a dummy at all. I dont mind her sucking her thumb as it makes her feel comforted and also apparently 95% of thumb suckers stop before they are 5yrs old (heres hoping!). When she is tired she now starts to suck her thumb so we know to put her to bed (and it looks soooo cute!). I  that she has found her thumb- it makes life sooo much easier.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 11:00pm |
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thanks everyone.. :) yeah will def as i said be going with no dummy..still wrapping and home based care(next year) :) simone (yes i am going to be sooo fussy!)
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Rachael21
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Posted: 09 April 2008 at 3:07pm |
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I was just going to say if your not 100% about daycare (like me) it doesn't hurt putting his name down (like for when hes one or whatever) because you never know what might come up. I'm going to put the kids names down for next year and if I don't use it I don't use it, but if I need it it will be hard to find a good one on short notice.
I used to wrap Caprece up by having a square cotton wrap folded in a triangle, tucking one side under her (including her arm) and then the other side under her as well so its really tight. I also have it up quite high so the handle of the dummy is under the wrap and so doesn't fall out. BTW Caprece is still wrapped and dummied at nearly 10 months, she was such a terrible sleeper and is now so great I'm not stopping any time soon.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 09 April 2008 at 5:09pm |
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how do you wrap that high and not get it over her nose in the night? its great that its still working for you:) if i didnt have to get up 5 times and it didnt take sometimes 1 hour after going to bed it would be great..but we are both losing a lot of sleep over it..well we were..now its just him as its mostly daytime..
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dummy/wrap and childcare
