It feels like I am failing

at being a good mummy of 3!  I love them all to bits but at the moment I could quite happily run away for awhile.  I feel major guilt towards Mr 23 months, I feel like he is missing out on me so much since bubs arrived 7 weeks ago.  He has gone from being my gorgeous happy boy to a grumpy screaming tanty thrower!  Mr 7 is the only one not giving me grief at the moment lol.  I know I need a time out but that just isnt possible, I dont have anyone to leave them with and DH works 6 days a week and is hopefless with them when they are small anyway.  My BF suggested I look at putting L into daycare for a bit of a break but I know I would feel guilty doing that too!!  Sometimes I wonder what the hell was I thinking?!?!

First of all HUGE HUGS to you

I know exactly what your going through, except the kids I'm failing are my step kids.. they used to be the centre of my world, but now they are taking a back seat and I feel they are missing out on a lot because I'm quite focussed on the wee lady! The others have become tanty throwing, argumentative liars Even the smallest of the 3 (master 8) has started stealing from his school & mutilating himself physically to get mine and my DF's attention.

..just like me, u need to fight through this you ARE doing a fantastic job.. your kids love you and it will get easier. Stay strong hun

me too:) those middle of the night txts are what got me through in the beginning,,...you are a fantastic Mum to all three..how else could you sort out Z's bday and everything during all this chaos...i dont know the solution but



Edited by kawwww

hugs from me too.... and if it helps any my 4 yr old is being a terror too - seems really angry and grumpy all the time...

Big hugs, you are doing an amazing job. We all have times when we feel like we're bad parents, but it doesn't mean we are!
They don't call it the "terrible twos" for nothing - toddlers are damn hard work, and kudos to anyone who copes with a toddler and a new baby, I am terrified at the thought and considering taking baby and heading for the hills and leaving Willie with the gremlins and Maya!

Is there any way you could have time out and take baby with you? I mean, I know it's not as good as time out on your own, but if DH can cope with Mr's 2 and 7 and you only have to worry about baby it might give you a bit of a break?

Do you go to a Playgroup/Playcentre of some sort? That might help too, give Mr 2 a chance to blow off some steam and you can have a chill out. I playgroup, even tho it is manic and there are kids everywhere, the gremlins take off and do their own thing and I get to have some adult conversation.

I did a post very much like this when my #3 was the same age and the virtual hugs I got made me cry! Then when she was 10 weeks old I broke my foot and got home help lol.

Anyway it sure does get better. The routines get easier, baby's sleep times get longer and you start feeling human again, not just something emerging from a great cloudy fog! I don't know how your finances are but if even $15/week will give you just an hour of someone coming into your home to fold washing, do dishes and vacuum, it makes a huge difference. As for master 2, see how often you can get down to a park so he can run riot (within limits!) and you can sit and bf baby. At home, aim to give him 1x30 mins or 2x 15mins slot per day of quality time. See if you can get into regularly getting new books/puzzles from the library or, if you can afford it, join a toy library. If nothing else, put half of his toys away for 10 days then swap them with the ones left out - it just helps to provide some 'new' things for him.

When I had 2 under 2 I joined a local playcentre. That way I was still there but I had other adults around to help keep an eye on the nearly 2yo. We went for one morning a week and it was WINZ subsidised too - just added another break.

And never estimate the power of an afternoon of balloons! Godsend!!

Big hugs, hang in there, 1yr on my younger two often are playing with each other, teasing and cuddling each other, and are best of friends. Big hugs to you especially with broken night sleep

Thank you all so much for your lovely words, hugs and words of advice!!

We do belong to several playgroups but havent been since bubs arrived, so I know he is BORED and probably having tantrums to help fill up his day lol And of course that is one of the perks of being almost 2.  I phoned our local playcentre and they said to come down and have a look so will be doing that over the next few days too  Busymum the quality time sounds like a great idea, thank you, sometimes I feel like all I am doing is telling him off and Im sure that will make a huge difference.  Seems like when bubs is asleep there are a million and one things I need to do!!  As any mother can relate to!

I know how you are feeling. I have three boys too, although no two year old.

I have no words of wisdom except to let you know that you are not alone. This afternoon I needed to take a quick trip to the shops. Mr 11 who also has special needs was off trying to talk to strangers, Mr five was running down the isles and then sliding on the floor on his stomach and nearly took out and elderly man and his walker and the baby - well he was trying to cry and suck the living daylights out of my arm has he was really hungry. By the time I got to the car I was shattered. There were no looks of sympathy coming my way, just those tut tut looks!

Anyway hun - have a laugh on me and welcome to the mother of all boys club ;)

Hu

Big hugs from me as well. Today I really wished I could just throw a sickie and lie on the couch all day and do nothing!! Well dreams are free i suppose!!

Anyway I have only 2 kiddies a just turned 2 year old and a 10 week old and a few weeks back I felt just like you. You really are doing an amazing job even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

Harry has now settled down a bit but is only doing 45min naps during the day so I am finding it hard to fit quality time in with Charlotte. I feel bad that she is missing out too but we can only do what we can we are human after all. And in saying that the wee ones will get bigger and it will get easier.

Big hugs and hang in there you are doing great