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BellaBoo 
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 Topic: Controlled Crying
Posted: 12 March 2008 at 9:25pm |
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I am sick of using a dummy to get Bella to sleep as I have to run in and out everytime she spits it out. Or, I have to stand there and place it in her mouth everytime it comes out. It is not very practical! Once she is asleep she tends to spit it out and remain asleep anyway.
So that brings me to ask about other methods. Could someone please explain the controlled crying method and have they been successful with this. I have tried the CIO method but Bella just gets so upset and then I end up in a blubbering mess. I have let her cry for an hour and she has not even been near to falling asleep so really dont want to try it again.
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.Mel
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Posted: 12 March 2008 at 9:37pm |
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Sorry I don't have any advice as I don't like CC or CIO.
What about rocking to sleep?
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myfullhouse
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Posted: 12 March 2008 at 9:43pm |
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I haven't tried CC or CIO as I can't stand to hear Jack cry. From what I understand CC is just leaving baby to cry until they go to sleep, not even going in to try and calm baby at intervals like CIO.
We have a similar situation expect it's my boob in Jack's mouth not a dummy! We are using Pinky McKay's baby steps plan from "Sleeping like a Baby" and it is working quite well. We have started using music so spent a week playing that while I BF him to sleep. The next week we played the music and only BF until drowsy then rocked and patted to sleep. The idea is slowly I rock less, put in cot drowsy, withdraw slowly. Jack has been BF to sleep since about 4mths so we are taking it extra slow but there hasn't been much crying at all. With this plan you don't have to use music etc, it is just choosing another sleep association that suits you and slowly introducing it and substituting it for the association you want to change.
This may be one option for you although I am not sure if Bella might be too young. Good luck
Edited by Linzy
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kabe
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Posted: 12 March 2008 at 9:59pm |
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NikkiB an Oct 07 mum has been successfully weaning her son off the dummy at night. Hopefully she'll see this thread and tell you how she did it.
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babyg
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Posted: 12 March 2008 at 11:00pm |
There was a fantastic article on CC in North&South Mag Sep 07 edition. It talked baby's sleeping patterns and basically didn't recommend CC - suggesting that it can affect childrens' communication abilities later in life. I thought it made a lot of sense. In saying that I'm quite happy to let my baby winge for upto 10mins before trying to physically settle her, though if she starts crying hardout after 5mins then I intervene. Isn't it hard all this 'parent' stuff? We are obviously all looking for the same MIA manual! 
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 5:12am |
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topsy we are having the same issue..i know hes heaps younger but the dummy thing is driving me mental.. though he will sleep often without it on the days he wants it we are stuck putting it back in 100 times a night.. I just bought a book.. (ugh cant remember title.. ) something bout sleeping babies:) 'secrets of the baby whisperer' to see if it has any ideas.. let me know how you get on...i think they recommend an approach similar to linzy with a new association..
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pekemoemum
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 6:57am |
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huge hugs!! I have a really good e-book on sleeping tips/strategies, which might help. PM me your email address and I'll forward it to you.
As far as I know CC is where you leave baby for set amount to cry/grizzle, then go in at certain intervals (e.g. 2mins, 4 mins etc) CIO is where you leave them to cry/grizzle themselves to sleep WITHOUT going in.
Lots and lots of hugs. My boy is 13months and still has his dummy in the cot/bedtime, attached to the front of his Peke Moe. That's the only time he has it and he sleeps all night, so I don't have a problem with him having it ... but totally up to you, if you need to keep gettingup to her to give it to her I could see how that would get very tiring for you!!! hugs!!!
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cuppatea
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 8:30am |
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CC is where you allow the baby to grizzle and then you go into comfort at increasing intervals, so cry for 1 min comfort, cry for 2 min then comfort and so on. The idea behind it is that they learn to self settle but also learn that someone does still come and they are still safe etc. However I went to a sleep seminar and the lady there said that some babies interpret it as if I cry for long enough someone eventually comes and that is why it fails with some babies.
I personally don't like CC or CIO and most books don't recommended until after 6 months anyway. There are softer approaches but they do take longer. You could try rocking/patting/shhing to sleep and then rocking/patting/shhing till sleepy and then do less and less until she doesn't need it anymore. You could also try only giving her the dummy until sleepy so that she settles without it and slowly wean that way. Also perhaps introduce a different comfort, a musical mobile or going into a sleeping bag, something that indicates to her that its time for sleep.
Good luck with whatever you decide
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miss
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 9:01am |
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I wouldn't give it a go before 6 months eiter. We ended up using cc at 7 months after rocking lily for 40 minutes at 1 am didn't work to get her to sleep. Exhausted, I popped her into bed and went in every 5-10 minutes to comfort/resettle her. Within 30 minutes it was an occasional grizzle, by 40 minutes she was asleep. The next night I did it again and it was heaps shorter, maybe less than 10 minutes. Night 3 was less again. Since then she has self settled for most sleeps without any crying - big smiles instead - and sleeps through the night (hooray!)
In your case I would investigate the ways to remove the dummy first. Some suggest you cut a hole in the dummy so it isn'tso soothing anymoer, but I like the idea of the one where effectively you hover over them and pull it out as they drift off, so they don't ahve it to 'go to sleep' per se.
This is a great link with loads of dummy advice:
http://www.babycenter.com.au/baby/ref/dummies/
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kebakat
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 9:33am |
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I don't mind CC. We used it on Daniel at a fairly early age. But we resorted to it as I was at my wits end with him (he was waking up after only 10 mins of being asleep and it took half an hour to get him to sleep for that short time).
Do you use white noise, we found this a god send and still use it. It's a sleep que for him, he only needs it at home, when hes out and about hes such a good little sleeper now that he doesn't need it but I like having it on at home because it drowns out any noises I make around the house.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 9:54am |
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we tried white noise last night..took much less time to get him to sleep.. (at least the first time) so might get a proper cd today .. as we just used radio.. otherwise roll on when he can put his own dummy back in:)
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BellaBoo
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 11:18am |
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Thanks ladies. Kels kindly sent me the Sleep Sense program which looks good. I will use the stay in the room option to minimise crying as it pulls at my heart strings!!!!!
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 11:51am |
 Topsy wrote:
Thanks ladies. Kels kindly sent me the Sleep Sense program which looks good. I will use the stay in the room option to minimise crying as it pulls at my heart strings!!!!! |
Hi Topsy, I did this and it worked brilliantly.
Previously I'd tried CC and CIO and they both upset DH & I so much, and in turn upset Michaela, and neither actually worked for us.
In the end I would stay in the room, with my hand across her stomach and my back to her. I made sure the room was dark and quiet. This first night she was upset about it (not as bad as with CC and CIO) and fell asleep within an hour, the night after took 40 mins and gradually over the next week the settling time got less and less so that within a week I could leave the room straight away without having to sit with her at all.
The other bonus with her learning to self settle was she also started sleeping through within 3 days (she was already 10mo by then though).
I hope it works as well for you. The main thing to remember is that once you've started it try and stick to it for a few days before deciding if it's not going to work for you.
Good luck. Hope you have some peaceful nights again soon.
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justme
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 12:29pm |
Topsy, I hope you don't mind me saying but - The plunket "family centres" are awesome. If you have one handy to you & haven't been into see them yet, definitely pop into see them & ask for some advice there too. They are a world of information & helped me a couple of times in the first few months with my little man
They do a sleep programme there too!
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emz
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 1:09pm |
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I would figure out if she's actually crying for attention or not. We do CIO with Jack because its not screaming, its just that intermittent crying where he's waiting for someone to come in and talk to him. I know this because as soon as you go in there he does big smiles and the world is alright for him again! Little cheek! I figure that as long as all his needs are met (fed, changed, played with, cuddled) and they've been up for the appropriate amount of time, its time for bed. It may sound harsh, but it works. It used to take 20-30 minutes, most sleeps now it will only take 5-10 mins and its getting shorter and shorter.
Personally, I don't want to use anything as I want him to self settle wherever he is. I worry that he'll rely on something eg. white noise, dummy or a bath to get him off to sleep. But that's just me as we like to go out and go to mums, so it would be ridiculous for us to have him rely on something we can't take everywhere!
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Mum2ET
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 2:28pm |
[QUOTE=The_Stuarts][QUOTE=Topsy]
In the end I would stay in the room, with my hand across her stomach and my back to her. I made sure the room was dark and quiet. This first night she was upset about it (not as bad as with CC and CIO) and fell asleep within an hour, the night after took 40 mins and gradually over the next week the settling time got less and less so that within a week I could leave the room straight away without having to sit with her at all.
QUOTE]
I like the sound of this method. Ella wakes up several times in the night and will only go back to sleep if she is feed....have tried CC but 11/2 hrs later she is still crying off and on and won't go to sleep and I always end up giving in and feeding her.
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NikkiB
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 3:12pm |
Topsy, check out October babies page 130. I explained to one of the other October mums on how I got rid of the dummy - I was also getting up a zillon times during the night to put it back in! Good luck 
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Gabeden
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 8:41pm |
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what is CIO?
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Debs SAHM to Eden 2.10.07 18:23
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BellaBoo
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 8:53pm |
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CIO- cry it out
What an absolute disaster! We tried the sleep sense method and there was no way she was going to sleep. She got so upset that there was nothing I could do to get her to calm down.......so I caved in and gave her a dummy 1.5 hours later. She fell asleep straight away! We have one very stubborn baby and I dont think that method is going to work for her. What a stressful night, I ended up breaking down and crying my eyes out.
I wish there was a family centre in Rotorua because I would be there in a heartbeat.
Maybe I have to just wait till she is old enough to be reasoned with!!!!
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Mum2ET
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Posted: 13 March 2008 at 8:53pm |
Gabeden wrote:
what is CIO? |
cry it out
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Controlled Crying
