Self settling - your experiences?

I couldn't leave DD cry to sleep it simply didn't work I feed/cuddle/rock to sleep its a lovely gentle way and doesn't take very long.

They're so little at that age and they need their Mum

Ruthyh i feel your pain. When my ds was that age (and older), i tried many different things to get him to sleep well. I tried leaving him to cry because i had read many people have success with this, but it was to stressful for me, i found myself in tears and decided it was not worth it.
I found the book Save our sleep, by Tizzie Hall very helpful, and i had success using some of her methods. She outlines some useful rourines for different age groups. Her method of teaching babies to sleep does involve some crying but only a certain amount of tome depending on your babies age. Like all books you need to take the advice you find helpful and leave tne rest.

Sorry i cant be of more help, but remember you are not alone!

Totally agree with maya22. Your intuition and gut-feeling is your best tool and if it doesn't feel right don't do it... At the end of the day, you need to be happy and confident about the decisions you make and if something doesn't sit right with you, try to find something that does - and don't worry about what people think! I used to worry so much about feeding/rocking to sleep because I'd read so much about it being the wrong thing to do...but it worked, and he didn't need it forever.

Like hayley1 I also tried lots of different things when DS was little, mainly The Baby Whisperer stuff. I hated hearing DS cry and preferred to use more gentle techniques. Have no idea if any of it made any difference at all - I found that things would be running along perfectly, then teeth, or a growth spurt or a cold...or something (!) would unsettle DS and we'd spend a week or more trying to get back to what we had...and the same thing still happens now! And to be honest sometimes I still rock him to sleep if he needs it...it works and it is less stress for him and me!

It's biologically normal for babies this age to wake during the night, and like a previous poster said, even CIO fanatics suggest waiting until 4 months at least.

Can I ask why you want her to self-settle? Is it because you worry she won't learn it later if you leave it? Because she definitely will! And there are ways to teach self-settling without CIO, but they do suggest waiting until later on.

Hi Ruthy. I would agree with the others that it might be a bit early to leave bubs to cry it out. Everything is still so new for the both of you and it takes time to learn what each cry means.

I leave DS to cry it out but only for 10 minutes at 20 months and as you and every other month knows that 10 minutes is like a lifetime! I have been lucky in that DS is an excellent sleeper but it also took me time to learn what his crys meant.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. If it is really stressing you out then leave it for a few months go in and give bubs a cuddle and help settle bubs.

RuthyH - so not the only one!

My two were both different, DS1 needed a dummy but still did a lot of crying and we did CC with him. DS2 was so attached at 3 1/2 mths at that point he was never put down. By 4mths I started CIO - yes it was horrible, yes I was crying in the hallway, but a week later and it was 99% better!

Now he's 9mths with don't often CIO, unless he's just beyond anything else.
No, honestly the other night he was crying, we rocked, shhhed, and hugged for an hour, then put a crying baby in bed and asleep in 1min.

CIO, the first week was the worst. day 3 was really really hard, but even by day 2 at some sleeps you could tell that it was improving. If you are trying CIO, give it a good and honest (and much crying for you) go for 3 - 4 days. If you can't tell an improvement in that time CIO probably isn't for your situation.

we tried this at about 4 months but it never really worked and I couldn't do it to my wee one, in retrospect I think he was too young. However we tried again at 7 months and after a few hard nights over a couple of weeks we have a lovely night sleeper. we still have our ups and downs but overall he is great and sometimes needs a reminder about self settling. go with your heart as you and your baby may be too young and not ready for this step. I know its hard, hang in there... you will get there in the end

It's not worth crying over. Some days my little dd used to cry so I'd just pop her in the front pack. Other times she was happy in her cot. With my first I did CIO and I have to admit I regret it. Now a second time mum I know that you can break bad habits later if you want, if they are bad habits in you eyes, so don't worry about it now. The buggy walk is also handy!
Do what makes you comfortable and remember its just a phase (still my mantra with my 4yo!)

Ruthy it is hard that one! I tried to do the same with E at that age and then read that they cant SS at that age really, and CIO not a good thing for then. I freaked out worrying i broke my baby! She is fine though, the crying never worked she never learnt how to then, now I still feed and rock her to sleep, mainly because i like to tho, and she goes to sleep so much faster, she can SS now but it takes so much longer, like yesterday for nap she SS and took her 20mins to get off to sleep, with me feeding her to sleep she is gone in 7 mins!
IN a nut shell tho, like the others said, dont panic at all about a STTN baby, especially at that age, just do what is right for you and what makes you comfortable. She will STTN when she is ready, they always do! Some people try all the methods and they dont work because baby is just not ready and is only more heartache for mum and baby in the end of those methods cuz noone likes listening to a crying baby!