How do u cope ?

Hi There

Me and my DP have talked an we are ready to have another baby, DS is 1 and we are going to start trying for a baby soon, does anyone have any tips on what age gap is the best ? and how do you cope with a newborn and 1 and a half year old ? I know you just learn to cope.. but just want to hear your experiences

TIA

I'll tell you how we cope when this next one arrives :D

There will be a 16 mth age gap between my 2.

I think a 3yr gap (so baby is born when other is 3yrs old) for two reasons.....they are alot easier to look after and entertain and understand alot more and 2. is they get the 20hrs ECE so you can have some one on one time with baby or to rest.

Im not sure how i would cope with a newborn right now and my baby is 17months old.......I know we would but I dont think I would that well. Depends on how you cope with the stress......me I know I wouldnt cope that well

I don't think there is a perfect age gap...you cope or learn to cope with what you have.

I was not trying to get pg when I did. DS2 was 7 mths & went off BF, I did a test & was pg. I had not been keeping track of AF but got it back straight away.

When DS3 was born DS2 was 17mths so they both went down for a sleep together which gave me a bit of time. Life was busy with a 5yr old as well.

The gap between DS1 & 2 is nearly 4yr & 5 with DS3 we notice it more now in play. DS2 & 3 are very close & more so now as they are growing up.

You can make any age gap work.

17 month age gap here. Only 3 months in but I think it's great so far.

How do I cope? By having a super awesome, super supportive DP.

(IMO)You need someone who if he comes home from work and the place is a shambles, washing and dishes strewn across the house, your older child is screaming running around naked and you haven't even thought about what to get out for dinner - he just gets on with it and DOES stuff. Cooks dinner, washes dishes, folds washing, looks after the older child, gets you a glass of water while you are breastfeeding on the couch after a day of your youngest child not sleeping at all and feeding all day during the mother of all growth spurts and tells you the dark circles under your eyes make you look sexy as hell

As I've said in different threads - it's all swings and roundabouts. Some days I'll have things sorted, others not. Some days I'll need him to do more than his share of housework and looking after kids, other days I will take the boys away so he can relax without the dinner/bath/bedtime rush.

Sure, you can (and millions of people do) do it all yourself. But it's a HELL of a lot easier with that kind of support.

Delli - you sure have ONE AWESOME partner!!

I don't mind the girls age gap, 14 months. I love how they are now starting to play together, they are now sharing a room, was nervous at first as DD2 still isn't sleeping through the night but it has worked quite well, so far so good, the only thing I really struggle with is the house work (I don't like my house being messy but I don't like cleaning it either ), looking after the girls 24-7 as my partner is always away, I do take my girls to playgroup which has been my saviour most days but I wish my DP would just see what needs doing and help out. I think there are ups and downs with any age gap, depends on the type of kids you have also, DD2 is really cruisy, DD1 is pretty full on.

I think you just learn to cope. I was fine at the bigging its now that they are both demanding im just on coping. I want to have 4 kids now I'm struggling withthe thoght of 3.

I have 19months between mine. I guess it really depends on the child. I have to  pretty chilled out kids as babies it was just feed sleep change, no relux colic... so I really had it easy compared to some of these amazinf mums who deal with all that.

Just do it. YOu won't know til ou try yourself.
Or look after your child and someone else for a day and see how you cope.  

I have 3yrs between my 1st 2, then 5yrs between the next and then 11 1/2months and I think they all have there advantages and disadvantages!! I agree you deffinetly need a supportive dp/dh that will help with everything. I've got an amazing one who cooks, cleans and when he gets home from work will help lots with the kids.

Good luck with ttc

I am doing it on my own with a 2yr gap so I am sure that if I can manage then anyone can

Mine are 5.5 years and not by choice. DS was diagnosed with mild autism when he was 22 months so #2 was pretty much out the window as all of our time and energy was spent on Jacob and we had to go through IUI just to have him and any future children.  By the time he was almost 4 I knew our family was incomplete I couldn't imagine our life with just one, but the chances of the next one having a disability was extremely high but it was a risk we were willingly to take. Kaitlyn came long when Jacob was exactly 5.5 she is bang on with her development  and we are truly blessed to have made the right decision.

Their are pros and cons to any age gap. With the age gap I have got while my son is at school I can spend  those hours with Kaitlyn and give her more one on one.