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Shelt View Drop Down
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    Posted: 10 February 2011 at 8:14pm
Ok, I know there are quite a few people out there who have kids and live with a flatmate and I need some advice.

My DD and I are moving back in to the house that my ex and I own while its on the market and I need a flatmate to help pay the mortgage. I've advertised and got some replies from people who sound nice. So I guess my question is, what do I need to know about the person before they move in? I've never flatted with a person I didn't know personally so this is a new experience for me. How will I know if they are some crazy person ? Although maybe they will have to be a bit crazy to choose to move in with a small child in the throws of the terrible twos....
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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2011 at 8:19pm
Ask if you may contact their current landlord and one other person. Then you can ask if they pay on time and if they are a generally nice person. A question I've asked is "if you were me, with [kid situation], would you be happy to have them live in your house?" I asked that of a landlady and she said no LOL
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catisla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote catisla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2011 at 8:41am
You can do a search under their name on the Tenancy Tribunal orders as well tenancy tribunal

this will at least let you know if they have been taken to the Tribunal for rent arrears, behaviour etc

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MamaT View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MamaT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2011 at 11:34am
Get phone numbers of referees and phone them yourself (just make sure they are not friends or family). People are fairly upfront with these things and like to tell you if they've had a bad experience with someone.
 
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Plushie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Plushie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2011 at 1:38pm
Invite potentials over for dinner (or similar) with you and your daughter and see how they go. I moved in as a stranger to a house with 5 established friends and they asked me to come over for a movie with them to see how we got on.

Get nosey in their relationship status, if they're single will they be out on the pull with strangers in and out of the house? If they're in a couple will the other half be staying often? Ask to meet them as well in any case and make ground rules regarding how often its resonable for a partner to stay.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kebakat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2011 at 2:14pm
Sit down and have a conversation with them. Ask if they are a smoker (if that bothers you) and how they feel about drugs. Reason I say that one is in one flatting situation me and the flat mate interviewed a girl who was really lovely, good job etc but once she moved in she was kinda messy in her own room and kept a stack of dishes in there, when we went in to get them we found needles. Kicked her out immediately but I never would have picked it.

You would have to figure out if the person lives a similar kinda way to you.. ie neat vs tidy.. late nights vs early nights.. loud vs quiet etc
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crafty1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote crafty1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2011 at 2:25pm
We had flatmates before kids and we always got foreigners. Partly because they would usually be staying for a fixed period so we could have breaks between. And also because most people who get their s**t together enough to save and leave their own country etc are probably not total losers. We used the gumtree website.

Our first guy was a dr who worked all sorts of shifts and was really outdoorsy so we hardly saw him but he was a great guy. Other one was a dj from LA who was out all night and slept all day, sweet!

When we tried kiwis, man we had some weirdos! Can't be arsed with all that - that was what my 20's were for!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SquishysMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2011 at 3:15pm
Originally posted by crafty1 crafty1 wrote:

We had flatmates before kids and we always got foreigners. Partly because they would usually be staying for a fixed period so we could have breaks between. And also because most people who get their s**t together enough to save and leave their own country etc are probably not total losers. We used the gumtree website.

Our first guy was a dr who worked all sorts of shifts and was really outdoorsy so we hardly saw him but he was a great guy. Other one was a dj from LA who was out all night and slept all day, sweet!

When we tried kiwis, man we had some weirdos! Can't be arsed with all that - that was what my 20's were for!


We've had almost the opposite experience - one of our overseas flatmates left in the middle of the night, no warning, just woke up and everything was gone!

We have had several flatmates, some long-term, some very short (3 weeks was the shortest, I think). Our longest one was here for 5 years, our current one has been almost 2 years.

After DD was born, we advertised as having a room available in a house with a new baby, and found that that weeded out most of the riff-raff that we'd previously had through advertising. Of the 4 people who came to see the room, 3 wanted it, and the one we chose (still here) is awesome.

There IS risk involved, you will not always know who you're getting, but the advice regarding ringing references is good (we never have, but if I was on my own with DD I certainly would!). Decide on your 'rules', and stick with them. Things like expenses - will they pay a set amount, or share the bill? Food, will there be a shared food arrangement (eg flatmate pays us $50/week for dinners cooked every night, tea/coffee etc but not open pantry) or will you allow them to do their own thing? You have to be aware that this becomes their house as well, and not to 'use' them in the care of your child, we get a babysitter for DD if we're going out, even if flatmate is home, although he's happy to keep an ear out for quick trips when she's sleeping.

We also have every flatmate sign a flat-sharing agreement, changing the word flatmate for lodger (apparently that means they have less 'rights', I don't know but DH looked into it), and we charge a 2 week bond and 1 weeks rent in advance. The agreement and 'bond' is to cover your a** if they skip out on you, or damage the room/house (we've had holes punched in doors, yup, you get some great people!).

That would be my advice, check references, decide your rules and stick to them, and do things formally with an agreement and bond. It can be a bit scary, but flatmates can be a lot of fun, and it helps that they help pay your mortgage! Good luck!
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Shelt View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shelt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 February 2011 at 10:22pm
Thanks everyone for your advice. I met one of the people I have been talking to today and she seems really nice so am going to sort things out tommorrow but it looks like she will be moving in.

I found a flatmate agreement on the dept of building and housing website. It looks really good. Is thiswhat you were talking about SquishysMum?
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SquishysMum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SquishysMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 February 2011 at 9:14am
Yep, that's similar to the one we had. So pleased you've found someone already! Good luck!
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