juggling sick kids and work ????

how do people do it ?????

i have been back at work for nearly 8 months now and i just realised iv already eaten up all my sick leave ( 10 days) . i only work 3 days a week so its heaps . one day has been used because i was sick , the other 9 have been thanks to Amelia being sick and i just got a talking to from one of the male bosses at work about it ( a boss i have spoken to maybe once in my life so he doesnt know me or my personal situation ). I feel very guilty about taking the leave but if bubs is sick then i cant send her to preschool . I am not with her dad and we havent been since very early pregnancy and he does not see her at all so he is no help , i have a partner now but he also has a child so he needs his own sick leave if she gets sick ( plus he only gets 5 days a yr and works full time ) , i also dont think it is his responsibility to take time off for my child , and he already looks after her in the evenings till 8.30pm  because my work wont give me normal hours even tho iv been on a "waiting list" for three years and people are constantly getting bumped up in front of me and getting day shifts. My family consists of my mum and sister and thats it . Mum works full time and sis has a young baby so couldnt leave her there with fear of passing something on . Big boss has basically said my baby is my responsibility and i shouldnt let her affect my work . This is good in theory but im sure im not the only working mother who has to take time off for a sick child ???  Has anyone else had issues similar? 

 I have definatly found my work are not very accepting of parents . Its not just me but a few of us working mums at work that have noticed it . its a very big company to so not much point in complaining as they wont go anywhere . There are quite a few things i am not happy with at all since returning to work .

It is really hard, hugs! When I returned to work after having Lilia I used up my sick leave balance (8 days) in 8 weeks! Lilia got really sick and then I got it too. I was put on a plan to try to help me manage my health! Even my immediate manager admitted it was ridiculous as she knew the reasons for my leave were genuine and it couldn't be helped.

Your employers don't sound very understanding, though on the other hand I do kind of understand as it can be hard for them when staff call in sick.

It's a tough situation, I wish I had the right answer!

I've often wondered about this as I would like to go back to work in a couple of years (we want to move to a bigger place= bigger mortgage), I often look after friends' children so they don't have to miss days but I doubt that would be reciprocated. The new 3mths thing where they can fire you without reason terrifies me, knowing my luck the kids would be abnormally ill for the first 3mths & I'd get fired.

One thing I was gonna say too was that they do get sick less as they get older. G is much better now than she was - we are down to about 1 illness per month rather than 1 per week-10days. I got sick (excuse the pun ) of people telling me she would get stronger as she got older but it does seem to be working. I think the immune system starts kicking in. Fingers crossed Amelia gets stronger too julz85.

The homebased care (Porse, Barnados) people usually take kids when they are sick, so maybe that is a better option than a daycare. Also there are less kids so hopefully she wouldn't pick up so many bugs too. Or nanny share?

Once you use up all your sick leave do you see if you can use annual leave or leave without pay? When I was in business I was always aware of the potential of staff needing more time off for sick children but also had to be fair to the other staff with no kids. Most often staff would take leave without pay and keep there annual leave

Yip, same here. I think I get 10 days sick leave per year, and have probably taken 5 in the last 4 months. I do have heaps of AL owing, so could take that I guess? We also get a "talking to" once we have used out allocated leave.

I tend to take sick leave if bubs is sick, but also have great family support. MIL and my mum have taken sick days to look after him too.

Hey Jules, just saw this and though I'd add ... hang in there! This winter will be so much better! Jake was sooooo sick in his first winter in daycare (born the same time of year as our girls) and by the next winter was way better. Morgan got sick alot too (not hospital admissions like Jake though!) and still is getting sick quite often, but I'm sure it will get better in a few months with her too. Once they get into the "over 2's" room they tend to put less things in their mouths and most have built up a bit more immunity so less bugs seem to go around - or they get a mild version.

I've been lucky to be working part time, on contract (working my own hours) and having a self employed hubby who always stays home if its a work day for me, and a mum who can come down any day if we really need her. But I don't get paid if I don't work - so it still kinda sucks!

Do you know any other part time mums that you could exchange sick kid babysitting with?

Just remember - it will get better soon!!

It definitely gets better. My first year back, I had about 15 days off work (and DH about 10) with DS's illnesses. Last year, DS only missed DC twice. His system hardened up. It also helped that the kids who kept getting sent along when they were sick, stopped coming.

I was really lucky that work and DC were really flexible. If I needed to take Monday off with Dan, then I could make up that time later in the week, and DC could take him too. I also had a job where a lot of the work could be done from home. If I had client visits that couldn't be rescheduled, then DH would flex it.

It's really hard cos I can see both perspectives and in the past, have been involved in working with staff who kept missing work b/c of their children's sickness. At the end of the day, you're paid to do a job and if you're not doing it, then work isn't a charity, and workmates can't be expected to carry the load. But at the same time, I think good employers should try to be flexible and understanding.

Is there any flexibility in your job - such as making up the hours another time or working from home?

Not easy for you

thanks for all the support and advice ladies . Azza- my Direct boss is great (she has 2 children who are grown up now and so she understands) but the boss above her who is getting his knickers in a twist is a 50+ yr old male whith a wife that has always stayed home when they had young children and well quite frankly has no idea what its like to work and have total care of a child . I have discussed taking my leave without pay when she is sick and that is just what is going to have to happen which he is not happy with but he can go jump . I also have the issue of having HEAPS of annual leave sitting there (over 20days ) but we have to book our leave weeks sometimes months in advance and go through a leave diary and if its not available on a certain day then we dont get the annual leave (i actually tried booking a day in august 2011 and couldnt because there is no leave - Its only january!) so unfortunatly i cannot use my annual leave as sick days which really sux as i have so much. My job is very rigid and not flexible at all which i am finding really hard now that i have a child . ah well it pays the bills