Any suggestions before I use CIO <-(

best of luck hun. i have no advice for you. we did CIO because that was what worked best for us. dont let ppl tell you what you should and shouldnt do cos at the end of the day you have to do what is right for you guys. hugs chick. hope something works for you soon

First off, if you don't want to let him CIO, don't!! He doesn't HAVE to be a great sleeper, some babies aren't. If it isn't something you feel right doing, don't let anyone(not even DH) push you into it. Three months is quite a long time in the life of a baby, so you have plenty of time up your sleeve yet. (And truthfully, I haven't found working on no sleep any more difficult than managing a crotchety baby on no sleep anyway). Going with the flow rather than fighting her sleep has made a big difference to how I'm coping (and I think I'm qualified to say that, seeing as we routinely do 1 hour of sleep then 30-45 minutes of crying/feeding/settling all night every night).

Secondly, all the screaming suggests that there might be a pain issue? What happens if you give him pamol? Does he sleep longer then?

What has changed since he stopped being an ok sleeper? Has he started on solids? Perhaps there is a food intolerance bothering him? Where is he at with his teeth? Is he getting too hot or too cold? How are his ears?

Just wondering, because I've been getting the brush-off from GPs for months over DD and her night-time discomfort because she's a fairly happy chappy in the daytime, but finally this week we got a GP who took me seriously, listened to my concerns, had a quick look at her and immediately gave us a referral to the relevant specialist. I've been concerned that it's a pain cry for some time now, and initially blamed it on her reflux, even though that is heaps better, but I got nowhere with the GP saying "she's in pain", I had to say "she's got pain in these areas" in order to get their attention and it did take me a while to work out where the problems were. It's hard being a detective when you are so tired!

we had major sleeping issues with DD from 5 months to a year, which initially were caused by allergy-related illnesses.... but even once we had that sorted, we had months of 'bad' habits behind us, and DD had completely forgotten how to settle by herself (she had slept 12 hours straight before the allergy stuff kicked in).

We tired CIO one night, and it broke my heart so much, I just couldn't do it (and besides, it didn't get her to sleep either! ).

My solution, and it did take several days to be a solution, was to use some ideas out of the No Cry sleep solution, but also the "good night sleep tight" book. I would feed her, put her down awakeish for bed, and then do absolutely everything I could to comfort her EXCEPT pick her up - so talked to her, rubbed her back/tummy, patted her on the bum, stroked her forehead etc (and I also explained to her what was going on). There was still alot of crying, but at least I felt like I was doing something and was there with her.

When she woke in the night, I did the same thing (although we weren't feeding at that stage of 1 year, because she hadn't been fed during the night for a few months), so went and sat by the cot, and did everything to comfort except picking up till she fell asleep again.

It did take a good few evenings/nights of this, but each night she settled more quickly with less crying and less intervention from me, and after a week she was sleeping right through without a fuss. Obviously that still gets interrupted now and then with illness etc but generally she's been awesome ever since then. It was easier for us at 1 year than it would have been at 9 months, but it took until a year for me to be so completely over being up multiple times every night, that a week of really hard nights was worth it.

At 9 months, if my DD had still been feeding during the night, I might have picked one or two feeds that I was happy to do, and then tried to settle at the other wake up times.

I guess my 'way' of doing things still involves crying, but just having a plan and being in the room with her made me feel so much better. Don't let other people (even DH!) make you choose anything you don't feel comfortable with - you need to feel confident in what you're doing, and then your baby picks up on that vibe, rather than the feeling unsure vibe. (Pressure much?! )

Good luck, sleep deprivation sucks.

Oh man, I can SO relate! My nearly 1-year-old has always been a terrible sleeper and I'm at my wits end... I have been determined not to leave her to cry, although must confess to trying five minutes of crying for an hour the other night, at which point I just decided that this is rubbish and I have to stop listening to everyone telling me she just needs to be left to cry. I don't know where to turn for advice because everyone says its time for sleep training... but its just not right I'm sure of it.

Last night she fell asleep while I fed her cause she missed her afternoon nap but woke 40 minutes later and I couldn't get her to go back to sleep. I sat beside her cot for an hour and she'd close her eyes and drift off but then open her eyes every 5 minutes and cry if she couldn't see me... then got her up and checked nappy, gave her a drink, some pamol, and that was it, wide awake, so we lay down in our bed, but she was crawling around and I was worried she'd crawl off the bed, so I put her on the floor... at 11pm DH took her and they sat in the lounge watching tele till she fell asleep on him, but he couldn't get her down in her cot, so at 1.30am he gave her to me and she fell asleep with me till 6.30am....

I just don't know what to do, I thought I was happy to just sit beside her cot until she fell asleep but after 2 hours I just was beside myself with the frustration of not knowing what else to try and wondering if something was wrong.

She's happy all day and naps fine in her cot but just won't settle at night. It used to be okay, its always taken a while, but an hour to settle and waking 2-3 times a night I can cope with just, but this is new and goes beyond my ability to cope if I don't see a way to help it get better.

Tonight I'm going to put a single bed in her room and lie on that while she cries...and hope she goes to sleep ... I feel that I'm not abandoning her to cry if I'm there....

Well, I tried just lying in the bed, but still got screaming, so moved the bed right beside her cot and she calmed right down..... although she just played mostly, at one point she lay down, closed her eyes and then five minutes later, sat up and started playing again,.. sigh! Then at 9.40 I smelt a poo, so we had a yucky nappy change and back to bed... I don't know what time she eventually went to sleep, but I went to sleep around 10.30/11 I think.. DH said he heard her cry out every 20-30 minutes or so until he went to bed around midnight and he heard her blowing raspberries at one point but I have no recollection of this. So, I guess she fell asleep in the end. I woke at 3am and got up and moved to my bed, She then woke at 4.30 so I went back in there..... got her back to sleep and then up for the day at 6am with her throwing a tantrum to be fed...

So - while I'm not entirely happy at having to go to bed when she does, I feel much more rested as I actually got some sleep last night. I'm hoping she'll play for less time each night, although not entirely confident that she will... and then I hope to move the bed further away from her cot and then not have to be there at all. I am hoping this is a phase too and will pass eventually!

oh and you guys sound so much like us. I give up and feed her too and DH gets frustrated as hell with me....

Sorry to hear you had a stressy night last night

If it's worth anything, in our July 08 thread, ALL the babies went through what we called 9month-itis, and they all turned into little terrors, including their sleep!

DS has always been a terrible sleeper, but from about 9months to just recently he was waking at least 8 times a night. One bad night it was up every 15mins for half an hour at a time. I found the only thing to help through this time was to co-sleep and pop a boob in his mouth each time he woke. It was a quick fix and meant we both could just go straight back to sleep.
I personally don't see anything wrong with feeding to sleep, I live by the motto - If it works, why change it.

Even now DS will wake up regularly, but all I need to do is roll over and rub his back for a few minutes. It definitely seems to be a separation anxiety thing at the moment.
But, I can totally sympathize with the lack of sleep. It is really hard.

T_Rex wrote: First off, if you don't want to let him CIO, don't!! He doesn't HAVE to be a great sleeper, some babies aren't. If it isn't something you feel right doing, don't let anyone(not even DH) push you into it. Three months is quite a long time in the life of a baby, so you have plenty of time up your sleeve yet. (And truthfully, I haven't found working on no sleep any more difficult than managing a crotchety baby on no sleep anyway). Going with the flow rather than fighting her sleep has made a big difference to how I'm coping (and I think I'm qualified to say that, seeing as we routinely do 1 hour of sleep then 30-45 minutes of crying/feeding/settling all night every night).

I so agree!!!!!!

I have had one great sleeper and one not so much. At around 9-10 months I started thinking it was time DD2 slept through but I couldn't do CIO, it just doesn't feel right to me. They are so little and when she cried I just wanted to hug her. So we went with the go with the flow technique which has worked really well for us. She has hardly ever slept right through the night (and she's 2;10 ), but we don't stress about it, she often hops in with us and goes back to sleep... of course this doesn't suit a lot of people but works for us. There was no battles to try to get her to sleep in the night, we just accepted she'll probably wake and what will be will be... I did try CIO a few times when she was older but I found if she went off to sleep after crying it was always a very unsettled sleep anyway - I figure it is like when I'm upset about something and don't sleep properly...

My daughters always been a snuggler so haven't had a problem with that really... she just hops into bed and cuddles up and we all go to sleep... We do make sure we don't go turning on lights and keep the talking to a minimum, and whisper so she knows it's quiet time.

Gosh such a controversial subject really ay?!?!

At the end of the day - no mother in the world wants to hear their baby cry, but sometimes it's the best solution for baby and Mum.

We did CIO out and I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nervous on the first night, just terrified of what was going to happen and I have to say it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be! It took 4 nights to cut our baby's four times a night of habitual waking out. And for me it was either sort the sleep out or anti-depressants, so I chose the former as I wasn't keen on the latter.

There are pros and cons to each approach. If you choose to continue with the disrupted sleep, how will that affect you? Your husband? And of course if you do CIO, how will you handle the crying? For me, we played a CD and slept in the lounge and I paused the CD every few mins to listen.

Oh and finally - I think it's really important that both you and your husband are on board with whatever you decide to do. Oh and one last comment, Patricia Alley at the Landing Road Plunket Family Centre sees people every Saturday from 9 - 1pm to help with sleep issues.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!