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MamaT View Drop Down
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    Posted: 12 November 2010 at 4:31pm
DS seems to have developed an aversion to his cot... I generally feed to sleep and was having no trouble putting him down in the cot asleep and he'd go about 40min to 1.5hours each time. But, for about 2 months now that hasn't been working. I'll feed to sleep as usual but everytime I lower him in the cot he'll wake up and scream the house down, but if I lay with him in my bed and slowly roll away and leave he'll sleep reasonably happily. But, he's wriggling around a lot now and I'm scared he'll fall off the bed and hurt himself so really want to get him sleeping in the cot again. It doesn't seem to be a problem with the cot as such as he will quite happily play in it, its just when it comes to sleeps. I've even resorted to hopping in it with him until he falls asleep, but that isn't exactly a great long term solution.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
 
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MrsEmma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsEmma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 November 2010 at 5:20pm
MamaT have you tried putting an item of your clothing in the cot with him just so your smell is still with him? Just a though, I have no other ideas sorry but I hope someone else can help!


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MamaT View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MamaT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 November 2010 at 6:25pm

Yup, tried that too. I had a blanket that we slept with for 3 days and had it between the two of us for every BF and cuddle then tried that in the cot, no luck.

Thanks though Emma

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Raspberryjam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 November 2010 at 7:24pm
MamaT, I had that too, but I went to the plunket family centre and they explained it to me like this...

If you woke up in the bath would you freak out? Your baby is more aware now, he went to sleep in his Mummas arms and when he wakes up and your not there he yells out to you...maybe its time to teach him to fall asleep without a feed.
One sugerstion was to give bubba a soft toy to cuddle, while you feed him, then when he wakes up, or falls asleep by himself, he begins to create a new sleep association with the toy instead of you

Good luck

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bex88 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bex88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 November 2010 at 8:32pm
Can't really offer any suggestions is this is a major problem for us to(minus the feeding to sleep), although we are getting improvement......... so unfortunately all I can offer is and I will be watching to see what others might suggest.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HippyMama Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 November 2010 at 9:47pm
My suggestions would be to a) get a bed rail or even two b) put a mattress on the floor or c) making a sidecar out of the cot if you can fit it up against your bed.

DD2 had an aversion to her cot for a while and was only going 20 mins before waking and needing resettling, problem was solved by going to sleep in our big bed, and now she is back to sleeping in her own cot again sooooo... this too shall pass!
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High9 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote High9 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 November 2010 at 10:47pm
Another idea, long term perhaps, if you don't mind co sleeping could be a safe-t-sleep but the bigger size that would fit around you bed as well, we got this size for going away but unfortunately for us DD hated it from the start and eventually learned to undo it but if you're keen then PM me and you can borrow mine and see how it works out.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RubySoho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 12:09am
We've just transitioned DS from Hammock to cot. We have the cot sidecarred to our bed. At bedtime we have a feed, bit of a cuddle and while DS is still awake I pop him in the cot wide awake and lie on my bed beside him. Then we read a story. He loves this part and I get lots of smiles etc. After the story I give him a kiss goodnight and leave the room.

If he gently grizzles, I ignore, if it escalates at all I go in straight away before he stresses himself. With one hand on his chest I rock/jiggle/shake/wobble (gently of course!!) him side to side and I make a "ssshhh" noise. The volume and intensity of the sshhh depends on him. The louder he is, the louder the ssshhh, think vacuum cleaner loud if needs be! This settles him and as he becomes more settled I rock less and sshhh more quietly. As he starts falling asleep I leave. I try to be gone before he's totally out so he's sort of getting to sleep himself.

The first time I tried this it took a lot of shhhing and rocking but within a day it got waay less and tonight I only had to gently shh and rock for about a minute.

The main thing is, you need to pick a new routine that will suit you and then you need to help your LO get used to this new routine. The first try will probably be really difficult but stick with it, stay consistent and it will get better.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 1st_Time_Preggies Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 8:24am
Same problem here! DS is 9 months and HATES going to sleep. I think and hope it is a phase :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 1st_Time_Preggies Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 8:25am
Same problem here! DS is 9 months and HATES going to sleep. I think and hope it is a phase :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote T_Rex Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 8:36am
As you know, I reached the point where all of DD's naps were on my lap, which was lovely, but also a PITA! DH and I decided one day that she was to sleep in the cot or no sleep at all. Her first pick was the second option (sigh!) but she soon realised the second one wasn't so bad after all.

Basically I'd feed/rock her to sleep as usual, then as soon as she was asleep, pop her in the cot. She'd usually stir, realise she was going into the cot, wake herself up and yell and usually stand up immediately. So I'd pick her up, get her back to sleep again, and try again. The first few days were mostly me spending hours rocking her back to sleep, but as soon as she was asleep, in the cot she went. Basically I wanted to eliminate the option of sleeping on me (she wasn't sleeping if I left her in bed either). After a while, we got to she'd stay asleep for a bit, but then cry after a short nap - I'd pick her up again and cuddle her back to sleep and then back to the cot.

There were several times where I flat out couldn't get any sleep out of her in the cot, or where she'd have continued napping after her cot nap in my arms if I'd let her. So at those times, we got up. I did resort to going for a drive a couple of times, and also let her have the occasional nap in the manduca on my back while I was out and about, but I never let her nap in my lap in the rocking chair until she was a happy cot sleeper. (Now I do it occasionally for a short time).

The great thing is that it has worked - she goes down and stays down for the most part these days. But it was a pretty full on few weeks, and I did end up in tears to DH a few times. If you want to put something like that in order, I can give you my number so you can ring me in tears if you need to - cos I know how much it sucks to spend 5 hours carefully putting your baby into the cot to have them wake up every.single.time!

Hope you get something that works anyway xx
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote High9 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 10:03am
Follow on from what Ruby said - you def have to shush loud!
Have you seen the happiest baby on the block DVD?
They have to be able to hear the shushing over their crying!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MamaT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 2:46pm

T-Rex, Its been a bit the same here at the moment. Day sleeps are generally had while in my arms. I can generally get 2hours out of him while I continuosly hold him and shove a boob in his mouth when he stirs, unfortunately its not much of a solution.

If I wear him he will still only sleep for 30min and once he's awake thats it, there is no resettling for another sleep, the little monkey.

 

I just can't let him cry at all. The minute he does I'm in there and holding him. I'd rather hold him and rock him till he falls back asleep than listen to him cry, whether I'm comforting him or not. I've tried it before, but he gets more and more worked up, its just not for me/us at all.

 

I have pulled the side off the cot and now have it pushed up against the bed, he's asleep in my bed at the moment but I have the bed pushed against a wall on one side and the cot on the other so that feels a bit safer. In my wisdom I thought I'd lower the mattress too, but now its too low so will have to put it back up to bassinet height and hope that fits alongside the bed better

 

Thanks for all the suggestions ladies

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Whateversville Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 4:03pm
Oh, I'm so pleased to read these comments..I too feed to sleep and my boy only sleeps on me/on my bed.
Cries screams yells in the cot soon as you lower him in. Even just to play now

Just have to keep trying. My MW told me to push the cot up next to my bed but I never did maybe I'll try it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Flossie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2010 at 7:49pm

I really feel for you MamaT as we went through a stage with DD where she wouldnt go in her cot and would only sleep in my arms or in/on our bed -  and apparently I was the same as a baby - but it is so tiring and draining as you really need some time to YOU!

However only in the last few days I have become a bit firmer with DD and will hold her to sleep and place her very slowly into her cot and then I will place my hand on her tummy and rock her until shes in a deeper sleep but this has only started working in the last few days. Previously she would also scream when in cot so I would let her play in her cot with toys and we even play in her room a bit dunno if that helped her or not.

Hang in there it is so hard and I am like you and dont like leaving DD to cry and always rush in to pick her up and hold her!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote T_Rex Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 November 2010 at 3:40pm
Originally posted by MamaT MamaT wrote:

T-Rex, Its been a bit the same here at the moment. Day sleeps are generally had while in my arms. I can generally get 2hours out of him while I continuosly hold him and shove a boob in his mouth when he stirs, unfortunately its not much of a solution.



I just can't let him cry at all. The minute he does I'm in there and holding him. I'd rather hold him and rock him till he falls back asleep than listen to him cry, whether I'm comforting him or not. I've tried it before, but he gets more and more worked up, its just not for me/us at all.




That was our napping situation exactly - glad to hear I'm not the only one whose been there!

There was no letting her cry here either. I absolutely don't believe it's an appropriate way to treat a baby. So she was picked up as soon as she cried, the only real difference was she was no longer picked up and allowed to nap on my lap instead, it was back into the cot once she was asleep again.

I hope you find a solution. It isn't easy, but it's so nice to have an hour or two to myself these days!

Off topic, but are you going to LLL tomorrow?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rainbow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 November 2010 at 5:41pm
Could it be that his nap times are possibly changing now that he is getting a bit older? Perhaps he isn't quite ready for a nap as he was before? Just a shot in the dark as I know that when my DS put up any sort of resistance it was down to me trying to put him down earlier than he needed to.


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Red View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Red Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2010 at 12:49pm
Sharlene Poole was on GM the other day talking about settling older babies, here is her fact sheet link.

http://tvnz.co.nz/good-morning/baby-whisperer-settling-older-babies-9-november-3883753
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MamaT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2010 at 6:28pm

I don't have a routine per se, I let him tell me what he needs/wants and when, so if he is showing tired signs I'll get him to bed then but the going to bed part I do the same all the time e.g. shut the curtains, sing twinkle twinkle little star while wrapping him, a BF and then into bed when he's asleep.

He has cut a top tooth today, has just started crawling this week, and has had a cold and ear infection so the combination of all those things could be having an effect too perhaps?

 

I did manage to get him in the cot yesterday (which is pushed up against my bed with no side rail), but it only last 20mins and he woke up beside himself so it was cuddles and back to sleeping in my bed.

 

I will check out that link too, thanks Red.

 

T-Rex - I had every intention of going to LLL today, but completely forgot all about it until I saw your post just now. Hopefully there is another one before xmas...

 
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