Motherhood one year on...

My DD turns one on Sunday! It has been the fastest and the slowest year of my life, not mention the hardest. I'm in reflective mood today and guess a bit emotional that my baby will so be a toddler. So herer's a worts and all asessment of year one.

The tough bits:
-shock of having a premmie baby
-loss of my old life
-baby not feeding well and slow weight gain - dealing with others negative comments on her size.
-PND, made worse by cronic sleep deprivation
-the "5 month sleep change" and hourly night waking.
-realising that I had a baby that wasn't going to learn to sleep at night on her own and having to do CC, even though I didn't want to.
-the huge test of my marriage (we passed!)

The great bits:
-my smart and beautiful daughter, is cheeky adventerous and socialable, loves animals and watties tomato sauce.
-my paitent kind and caring DH who is a wonderful father.
-realising just how great my own Mum is.
-a closer relationship with my in laws.
-meeting some great Mums, Dads and kids.
-learning that I can actually deal anything that comes up.

What I'd do differently:
-try not to worry so much
-take better care of myself
-try harder with getting baby to take a bottle of EBM
-take my newborn more places when they can still sleep anywhere. I'd use a sling to carry them around a lot more.
-and yes, I'd start sleep training a bit earlier, my mental health is very linked to sleeping (as a child I'd demand to be put to bed ASAP).

The best advice I was given was "parent your way" and the second best is that "something is only problem if you think it is". Some of things I think are important, I'm sure other disagree. And other things I think are great, but I know they just aren't going to work for my baby and my child. And these days I refuse to feel guilty about not doing something just because some person or expert thinks it was a good idea.

Sorry for the novel, but its been cathartic (sp?). Does anyone else who has survived year one have any great words of advice?

Great post! I would echo most of what you said but my DD (who is 13mo) has a medical condition, so instead of the premmie shock I would say discovering and dealing with that has definitely been the toughest bit with all the tests and hospital trips etc (that and the sleep deprivation!)

The great bits:
- The joy I feel whenever she smiles
- Cuddles
- Unexpectedly funny moments
- Seeing her grow and develop
- Seeing how much the rest of the family adores her (she's the only grandchild on both sides)
- Feeling myself grow as a person and become more empathetic

What I'd do differently:
- Ask for support sooner
- Know that each stage is just that - a stage

I think the "Take better care of myself" part is really important, it's very easy to forget about yourself or feel guilty about things - and I firmly believe that a happy mum = happy kids!

Great thread

   What a great post!

Great post. 

Hmmm understand about the sleep deprivation - I crashed in a big heap at 5 wks - thought I had PND but all I needed was a damned good sleep! 

There's lot of good things to outweigh all the bad things.  I think the second time around I wouldn't worry so much - there was so much conflicting information in all the books!   (And I was trying to do everything by the book).  I would also try to get a few more things done without doing everything around baby's sleep routine.