Daycare - am I just conservative?

I'm a bit irritated with DD's daycare at the moment but when I raise anything I get the feeling that we are considered *very* conservative and OTT by the daycare. So, whats the norm?

DD is 3. She came home one day wearing makeup (foundation/rouge/eyeshadow etc). I was upset about it and asked the school not to put makeup on her again. I let them know we dont think its appropriate for a 3 year old and that we have had a history of skin allergies as well.

Two weeks ago, DD again comes home wearing makeup. I sent a letter to the daycare manager asking them to please not put makeup on our child and followed it up with a talk.

We dont mind face paint... but makeup? I really hate the way we "sexualise" our little girls so early on and I think that encouraging makeup and the like doesnt help any.

We dont have any Barbie/Bratz stuff in our house, she doesnt get to wear teeny little miniskirts and cropped tops (and I found it odd when we were gifted some).

We're also careful about what she watches on TV. Recently whenever we fetch her from daycare they are letting the kids watch clips on Youtube. When I last fetched her they were watching Spiderman and I thought "gosh, this is a bit violent" but didnt say anything. DH fetched her yesterday and they were watching some odd clip with farting, burping animals and the older boys were running around pretending to fart on people.

Are we being really odd about this? The children range from 2 to school-going age.

Wow, I am kinda surprised they allowed the make up, our family has a history of being allergic to eye shadow (eyes swell and go puffy and itchy etc)

I guess times have changed from when we were kids... I don't think there is anything wrong with watching YT clips, but perhaps age appropriate ones are a lot better imo.

I grew up with Barbies and will let Lily have them, however I won't let Lily do ballet as a friend of mine did it and she was tiny as 45kg (under weight) and the teacher would call her fat

I completely understand how you feel though!

farting is normal and funny - especially for boys!

they are a daycare and should be taking into consideration all parents, not just a few. I dont think it is conservative not to want make up on your 3 year old at all. maybe you should pop in and do some surprise inspections to see what kind of supervision they are having. If the carers want to watch youtube they should do it on their own time.

I don't have a daughter nor does my son go to DC yet - but I certainly don't think you are being odd. From what you have said I would be starting to look around for another DC. I think I would have an issue with makeup on a child so young and if they were going to let them watch TV/Youtube - at least it should be age appropriate like cartoons or something.

clover wrote: I don't have a child let alone one in daycare but that sounds off to me. Full makeup on a 3 year old? Especially when you had specifically told them that you did not want her wearing makeup. It sounds like they are making some errors in judgement to me and may have lost a little sight of the age of the children they are looking after!

Yeah, the first incident was full-on makeup that we battled to get off with soap. I dont usually wear makeup myself so dont keep any remover.

The second time was blue eyeshadow and rouge.

I ended up at A&E getting steroid injections the last time I tried to use makeup and when I saw the daycare teachers the next day looking like the marshmallow man I let them know it was an allergic reaction to makeup and reiterated that it is one of many reasons we dont put it on DD.

Its really frustrating! After my letter the manager said it will never happen again... so here's hoping

We havent spoken to them about Youtube and age appropriate watching yet - I thought I'd first make sure we werent being ridiculous.

We're happy with the daycare in all other areas and she loves it there... but maybe when the teachers are choosing what to watch they should make it appropriate to the youngest child in the room at the time.

I agree with the others - I don't think you're being OTT or conservative at all! That would really rip my nightie if I'd specifically asked them not to apply make up and they did it again.

And I think you reasons for not wanting her to wear make up or watch TV are valid and sensible, not overly conservative.

Hi AzzaNZ

I agree with you on all the above points. I'm 26 weeks pg with a wee girl and would not appreciate her being exposed to youtube or movies like spiderman without our consent.
How can they even consider putting makeup on children this young?? I would be complaining to the teachers also and it sounds like they aren't even listening to your concerns. Have you contacted any other mums for the daycare?

IMO you are not being OTT at all! I would not consider myself conservative in the slightest and I would not want my daughter in a daycare where they put makeup on little girls OR allowed them to watch youtube or TV. Especially if you have already expressed to them your concerns. Maybe time to find a new daycare more in keeping with your families values? And that respect a parents decisions!

I think makeup is a tricky one and its something I would want to supervise in my own home. I am horrified at the early sexualising of little girls and I want to protect my daughter from that as much as I can. At 12 I was still playing dress ups and barbies, not wearing makeup and thong underwear and chasing boys and I value my childhood.

But I think there is a place for role playing, if my little girl wants to play putting on lipstick like mummy... or banging on nails like daddy if she's not a girly girl

Not OTT at all, i wouldnt be happy either. My DS gets to watch youtube now and then at home... old mac donald songs etc, not spiderman and stuff, thats crazy! I wouldnt be happy. I can see you dont want to feel like you are constantly moaning though, so hopefully it doesnt happen again.

Reminds me i was going to talk to daycare about DS's hand been drawn on with pen by a teacher... maybe thats a bit OTT. DP wasnt happy though.