’Too’ attached to mum...

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Jaxnz1 Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 17 March 2009 Location: Hamilton Points: 918	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jaxnz1 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: ’Too’ attached to mum... Posted: 15 July 2010 at 4:45pm
	DD is very attached to her Mummy. But now I think it may be out of habit. I plan to go back to work next week, only 3 mornings a week. My MIL is doing one morning (which will eventually be the whole day if she ever gets used to her) and she'll have two mornings at DC. She screams when she goes to someone else (while in my company), even MIL who she sees her at least once a week. I just left MIL with her for about half an hour and she had to be distracted the whole time and I came home to her crying She's very crafty though, because she'll happily sit on my lap and laugh and play with MIL! I've left her twice at DC for about an hour and they have said she's been pretty good, but I think it may be because there are other babies to distract her. The lady said she got upset a couple of times, but got over it. Does this sound like my DD being stubborn? Apparently I did it when I was the same age. Anyone else had the same problem? I don't understand why she's like this with MIL when she's been around since day one?!! Any tips would be great. I'm thinking it's a case of just time spent with other people?


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anon Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 25 January 2009 Location: Auckland Points: 1014	Post Options Post Reply Quote anon Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 July 2010 at 4:50pm
	It's actually an age thing. Starts around the 9mth mark (but obviously it varies from baby to baby) as a developmental thing called Separation Anxiety. That's why they say playing peekaboo helps them to know that when you go away you will come back. So I don't think she's being stubborn. She is probably going through Separation Anxiety. It shows up suddenly and they cry when you walk away, eg. out of the room or won't go to other people besides you or perhaps dad. It is a phase that she will grow out of in time. The only thing you can do is use familiar comfort items and reassurance that you are coming back. For instance - call out to her from another room "I'm coming back darling!"


Kellz Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 01 January 1900 Location: Gisborne Points: 7186	Post Options Post Reply Quote Kellz Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 July 2010 at 5:57pm
	Totally agree with newlywed. Defintaly a stage, although of course some kids will naturally be happier with Mum, more wary of strangers etc than others. Just like some kids can play on their own happily for ages,..neither of my kids like being on their own, or tho from about age 2 isla could amuse herself if in the same rom as me.

Mum_mum Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 30 April 2008 Location: NZ Points: 1394	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mum_mum Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 July 2010 at 8:23pm
	Defiantly a stage - my DD went through this around the same age and its only in the last month now that she is crawling that shes getting a little more independent and being ok to be left with others for a few hours. Im sure your DD will be fine with your MIL, she does know her, just given a choice she would way rather be with mummy lol, little minx, mine would often cry cos she wanted mum then turn around and give the biggest smile to the person who just handed her back!
	Angel baby - May 2008

monkey33 Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 01 October 2008 Points: 1236	Post Options Post Reply Quote monkey33 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 July 2010 at 9:10pm
	I was reading up on this the other day as I am going back to work part time (but 5 days a week) when DS is 9 & half months - just when separation anxiety kicks in if it hasn't already! I'm going to find it really hard too! The DC we are going to have suggested coming as many times we want before he actually starts. I'm sure no matter how much time we spend there together, he will most likely still be very upset at first, but the DC handle this all the time and have assured me he will be well looked after. They have also suggested bringing something from home that may comfort him, especially for sleep times. Hope things get better for you soon


MrsMojo Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 18 March 2008 Location: Wellington Points: 8202	Post Options Post Reply Quote MrsMojo Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 July 2010 at 9:13pm
	There's nothing such as being 'too' attached. I know it's causing you worries now but believe me, you'll miss it. She's not being cheeky or stubborn, she's simply in love with you. Babies fall in love with their main caregiver and when I say 'in love' I'm talking about the kind of honeymoon period in love that you get at the beginning of a relationship where you want to spend every waking moment together. Now you have to go away and she's not really sure when you'll be back. If this was the honeymoon period in an adult relationship she'd be able to explain how much she's going to miss you when you're gone and how much she loves you but she can't verbalise those emotions and so she tries to get the message across the only way she knows how. My son is a total mummy's boy and when I returned to work part time at 9mo I was really worried about how DH would cope with him in my absence but as with your daughter once I was gone he was fine. Don't stress, your MIL has raised at least one decent child (your DH) and daycares are trained to deal with babies and toddlers during drop-off time - most places have written procedures for handover. Georgia is in good hands. Enjoy your child-free mornings at work and know that Georgia will be fine as will the people looking after her.


Jaxnz1 Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 17 March 2009 Location: Hamilton Points: 918	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jaxnz1 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 16 July 2010 at 9:44am
	MrsMojo, that was a great way of explaining it! It's silly because in the back of my mind I know she'll be fine and in a couple of weeks will probably be over this whole phase (after having 5 months of it ) . And in actual fact I feel better about leaving her at DC than with my MIL because I know DC are experienced in it and probably get heaps of babies with the same thing. I think it's more that I feel bad leaving her with my MIL if she's going to be upset all day. I want MIL to enjoy the happy chatty little girl I see everyday (which I know will happen in time). Hannahbil, that's exactly what she does! She'll scream with someone else and once she comes back to me she starts laughing and gives the person who was holding her the evils! Very frustrating. We have done a couple of weeks of visits to DC and she is very familiar with it now, so hopefully that helps.

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