Work question again

I received an IM today from another staff member bitching about me (she didn’t mean the send it to me) I have had problems with her before- had to have a meeting as she felt I didn’t like her so I don’t feel I can go to her. I have been feeling really down lately (about other things) and thought that we were passed all the bitching. it has honestly upset me more then i thought it would

So my question is what would you do- would you go to the boss about it, ignore it or any other ideas you can think of

I would leave it as well, but thats just cos I'm too scared of conflict. Although I think you've spoken to your boss about it before haven't you? Perhaps it would be wise to print it out to show her/him or at least mention it

Difficult to say - I tried the ignoring option and it caused more harm than good cause someone else reported said person to my boss - who turned around and gave me an earful for putting up with it. Either way I was in tears which didn't really help.

Sorry not much help - one of those things that happens in the work place - so glad I don't work with women any more - men don't bother with this kinda sh*te.

How bad was the content of the IM? If it was really bad, I'd be taking it to someone higher up...

Or reply and simply ask her if she meant to send it to you.. then leave it at that... don't reply back if she replies...

Or delete and ignore..

TBH, having managed a team of people I wouldn't appreciate someone bringing this sort of thing to my attention unless it was affecting work getting done. So if it is really upsetting you and stopping you from working as you should then your manager has a right to know but my advice would be to concentrate on the way it is affecting your work, otherwise it could be viewed as a petty squabble that your manager may not want to know about. I guess it really depends on your relationship with your manager as well as to how they would deal with it.

as i said before it really upset me as im feeling down about things so in some ways i think it makes me feel worse about it

i think i might just send the boss a quick IM (less formal then an email) asking her to say in our team meeting that gossiping about people makes for a negative environment, but not actually tell her what happened. ill be the bigger person and ignore the person, hopefully she will be embarrassed as i think she worked out she sent it to the wrong person. im not up for conflict at the moment and i honestly thought we were adults&past all this

thanks for the support i know i count on everyone here

id print it, file it, then ignore. that way you are still ebing the bigger person and then if anything happens further down the track and she pulls the "she started it" card, you have proof.

littlestar wrote: MyLilSquishy wrote: id print it, file it, then ignore. that way you are still ebing the bigger person and then if anything happens further down the track and she pulls the "she started it" card, you have proof. my thoughts exactly! but hugs to you - it can't be nice to be working there with all this crap going on.

I third this suggestion and also the hugs. It's really sh*tty to overhear/read nasty things about yourself, especially when you know they weren't intended for you.

I would probably send it right back with a comment like, "I think you sent this to the wrong person" as well.

As for informing your manager or not, personally I'd probably want to deal with it myself depending on what she actually said (was it "just" gossip or something work related). If it's already gone as far as a meeting between the two of you then your manager perhaps should be in the loop.

Put it this way - if you decided to leave the job because of this woman then it IS affecting your work. And if I was your boss I'd want to know about it before it got that far IYGWIM?