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Peanut 
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 Topic: TTC and Partners
Posted: 22 February 2007 at 10:42am |
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Hey there,
My Dh and I had chatted bout trying to conceive and the right time and had settled on starting in Feb, now he is very hesitant and not willing to discuss at all. We are still all good and he has said that we just need to wait a wee bit but I am impatient and have been diagnosed with PCOS so know that it may take a little longer than planned. have explained all that to him but no avail. Has anyone else had this and how did you get round it? I am determined to get my own way!!! And really don't want to be massively pregnant the whole way thru summer!
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Posted: 22 February 2007 at 10:45am |
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I just started chicka told him he has 9 months to get used to it!! Men are strange they operate in the wierdest way!!!
Good luck chicka i hope he comes round soon!
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busymum
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Posted: 22 February 2007 at 10:49am |
IMHO I would say that he's feeling a bit freaked out and it would be best to drop the topic for a little while, maybe try to broach it again next month? A lot of guys find the change to having children a huge challenge - they lose their wives and their freedom, and gain instead an overwhelming sense of financial responsibility (stats say this is regardless of how much the wife earns!)
Big hugs though, with all you know of PCOS and the delays it can cause, I expect it's very frustrating! 
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ginger
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Posted: 22 February 2007 at 11:45am |
I think that it takes DHs a bit of time to get their heads around the impending changes, what it is going to mean for their lives and freedom, and their relationships with DWs. Oh. Just looked at busymum's post. Woops!
How old are you peanut?
If you have a fertility issue, such as PCOS, waiting can be really hard.
DH was really funny when we first started TTC ...he could think about initially when BDing was that this could result in a baby, and he just couldn't relax! Poor boy! He could get the deed well under way, but he couldn't ...err ...let go of the boys?  It took him about a month to settle down properly. Some days he was fine, other days he freaked out 
I think the other thing is that men don't have the same drive as women to have a baby - for us, it's a huge thing, whereas they seem to be happy cruising along forever. Then again, they can make boys forever, whereas we have a limited time frame for baking babies!
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Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00
Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41
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Peanut
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Posted: 22 February 2007 at 12:55pm |
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It is incredibly frustrating and don't really rbing it! Just leave it be but all the time getting more annoyed. Have explained that he will have 9 months to get use to it and as I am teaching it means that I will still get a full years salary!
Am only 26 but have been waiting for this since we got married (2 years ago) as discussed before etc when we would start trying. He was quite happy and we discussed it alot between times but since about sept he has been very weird about it.
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busymum
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Posted: 22 February 2007 at 1:18pm |
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In the right situation would he open up and talk openly about how he's feeling?
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BaAsKa
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Posted: 22 February 2007 at 2:05pm |
I had kind of a similar situation - DH and i always spoke about having kids when we were younger (he was 14 and i was 16 when we began dating) and he was really excited but when i got pregnant 3ish years later by accident he pretty much froze up!!! and it took him a good 5 months into the pregnancy to even speak of bubs!! but after that there was no stopping him!! and now this time round he hounded me for over a year to have another bubs cos he adored Bay so much but i wasnt ready yadayadayada and finally i agreed and here we are today! so they certainly can change their tune really fast! i thought it would take DH the whole pregnancy to get used to it seen as he was so young (he was 18 at the time and 2 yrs younger than me) but he was fine after 5 months and became very over protective and still is of both his babies  (Bay and Baby booh).
Your DH will come around  and be an overprotective dad like the rest of them
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Peanut
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Posted: 26 February 2007 at 3:06pm |
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Thanks for all your advice. Just did a quick mention in passing that I would really like to talk about it in the next 2 weeks and that it was a really important thing for me. I told him he had two weeks to broach the subject with me when it suited him before I sat him down on my terms! He said fair enough so now I just wait....
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busymum
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Posted: 26 February 2007 at 3:14pm |
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That sounds like a great idea!
But I'm confused... you *are* pregnant now aren't you?
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ginger
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Posted: 26 February 2007 at 3:17pm |
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Good on you Peanut - that's a good way to do it! It means he's got a very clear guideline for thinking about why he's not sure, or against it etc, and will hopefully give you some answers. All the best!
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Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00
Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41
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Peanut
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Posted: 27 February 2007 at 12:42pm |
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No, am definately not pregnant...still on the convince him to start TTCing
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busymum
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Posted: 27 February 2007 at 4:54pm |
Oh boy I am sorry, I was mixing your name (Peanut) with Peachy  Boy do I feel silly lol
I think what you're doing, ie need to talk about this but bring it up with me when you're ready, is totally the way to go, All the best for that!
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miss
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Posted: 02 March 2007 at 3:53pm |
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I know we had discussed a timeframe, and In June last year I reminded DH that we were coming up to when we would start TTC. He went quiet for a while, then came round and was happy again. The thing that really helped him was talking to male friends who have kids.
Now he did that all on his own, but hw is a bit different to may guys, in that he and all his male friends talk about stuff like girls do. Maybe setting DH up with someone to chat to who has a bubs could help him see the good side - I know for DH a lot of it was that he could only think of the down sides.
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Peanut
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Posted: 19 March 2007 at 9:52am |
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Just a quick update...we are officially TTC. Very exciting! Had a really good talk about it on Sat and he has agreed! Only problem is that I think I left it a bit late for this month as my AF usually comes between the 28th and 1st and we only started on sat which was the 17th so think I may have missed ovulation!
Thanks for all your advice and support...very much appreciated...especially now I got my own way!
Edited by Peanut
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Posted: 19 March 2007 at 9:55am |
Congrats chicka Exciting times
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busymum
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Posted: 19 March 2007 at 3:09pm |
oo I bet you're so excited!
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miss
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Posted: 19 March 2007 at 3:15pm |
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Oh yay! I hope things work quickly for you!
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Peanut
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:30am |
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bump bump
Edited by Peanut
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Peanut
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Posted: 27 July 2007 at 1:09pm |
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Bump
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TTC and Partners
