Dealing with baby who won’t nap...

Ok so I thought I had this baby thing sussed, DD1 was pretty compliant and has a young baby she slept like a dream. Then came DD2...

She is 6 weeks old and doesn't like napping during the day unless she on us or a baby carrier. She'll put herself to sleep fine, but doesn't stay asleep for more than 20 mins. She freaks out and refuses to settle.

At night she's no problem, settles just fine.

I don't mind some cuddles or carrying her sometimes, but i physically can't do this all he time as I have to do stuff and deal with a 2 year old.

I'd love to know how others dealt with this and got through it (which I'm sure I will). I know lots of people on here do attachment parenting and wear babies a lot. I'm wondering what those people do to get the baby sleeping on their own? I can't spend hours patting her to sleep as I have to look after DD1 at the same time.

Thoughts and stories most appreciated.

For us it was at 10wks that DS2 got super clingy. I pretty much didn't put him down from 7am - 7pm. He'd only sleep during the day on me, BF to sleep then would stay on for duration. At 7pm DH would take him. He did sleep well at night. When ever I said his day (not) sleeping was driving me crazy people would ask how he slept at night. He'd regularly do 6 or even 8 hours so everyone said "so you've got no problem then" - at 6mths it's still 6 to 8hrs a night.

Anyhow, how did we get over the short or no day naps? Well from 10wks to 4mths I just put up with it. Tried CIO (but not with conviction), CC, hugging, rocking, bought a swing, moby wrap.
DS1 was/is in daycare a lot when I had both of them, I'd just have DS2 in a wrap, or carry him, or he didn't get much sleep that day. DH is fantastic and would help me catch up on house work in the evenings.

Then at about 4mths we had a terrible night. He broke my nice. Next day CIO all the way. By day 4 it got better, then it's been pretty much fine since then. With the odd bad day.


So, no help sorry

eta - I also felt under 4mths was to young for CIO, personal choice

Edited by IsaacsMum

My DS started 20 minute sleeps at about 4 weeks old. I decided to go with the flow- he slept on me a lot for about the next 3 weeks and then after that he seemed to be a lot happier sleeping in his bassinet (though 45 min was a long sleep).

Several months later we figured out he wasn't terribly good at bringing up wind and so switched from feeding him to sleep to feeding when he woke up - this improved his sleeping immensely!

But at the end of the day every child is different and I'm guessing that it's a bit trickier with two! I hope you find a solution that works for your situation soon.

DD was like that as well. She very rarely self settled during the day and I normally had to either feed to sleep or rock her to sleep. Which was hard with a 2 yr old. Since DS still has naps I often just lay down in bed with DD, feed her to sleep then left her lying next to me and had a nap myself. I honestly just did what ever it took. She often only slept 20-30mins but just over the past week she has been self settling and sleeping for around an hour each time, often longer in the afternoons. Though she still only has 2 naps a day. We are housesitting so she is in the port a cot and I am wondering if the fact that she can't see out the sides is helping her sleep.

I remember this well with my youngest boy and had a 21 month old too. Bloody tough i've got to say. Hence why we are not having any more!!

I know everyone says just to wear them but you know what sometimes i just wanted 5 mins of my own personal space, so i really know how you feel. If you don't want to wear him for every nap there are lots of things you can try and who knows what will work for your wee one.

I did wear Jasper quite a bit, used a frontpack or sling and went for walks with toddler in the buggy. By about 8 weeks bought a dbl buggy and i taught him to sleep in there which was great. Then we could walk to playground and J would sleep while toddler played, when he stirred i would have to walk him round a bit.

I found that side/tummy sleeping really helped naps in the bassinet. I used a sleep wedge for side sleeping till about 12 weeks, then onto tummy. He loved tummy sleeping and still only sleeps that way to this day. Actually he only slept on his tummy on me for the first 3 weeks of life. Just would not sleep elsewhere. From then his naps improved so much, and if he woke i could sometimes pat his bum back to sleep.

We also started using this Seahorse glow/music thing at about the same time. So i would put him down on tummy, turn on music thing, and pat his bum for a few seconds till he was calm and leave. The other thing that i found really helped actually was less patting/shhing/etc, before that he'd be grizzling and i'd be patting and then he'd really start to cry. One day i was just so fed up with it all, he started grizzling so i just thought 'oh stuff this' and walked out and he quietened down really quickly and went to sleep. I tried this again and it seemed he just preferred less interference when going off. I learned to let him cry a little and leave him to it.

By about 4-5 months the day naps were so much better (and fewer). I still had to have him nap on me at least once most days. I would make myself a cup of tea and get a book and sit on the couch with him. Toddler would have a dvd or books sometimes if he was awake at same time.

Eventually it got to sleeping on me only 1-2 times per week and it's still like that at 20 months. He goes down ok but sometimes wakes after 45mins and when i pick him up he just sleeps on me. Toddler is asleep at same time and is big enough now to manage without me if he wakes.
Good luck hun, you will survive it, we all do but i really empathise with you it is tough. xx

We went through a bad stage of that. I never wore him, I just kept persisting with a bedtime routine- after 1 hour or tired signs, rocked or patted him to sleep, if he woke up to soon tried to resettle, if not, got him up tired him out and tried again. It was really really stressful and it just about did my head in, but it did pass in time. I found having those sleep cues eg going to his room, having a bottle, putting on the mobile, getting into sleeping bag/swaddle then cuddling and bed, helped to eventually get the message through. I nearly tore my hair out though as we then went through the 45 min sleep stage. If all else fails, walk baby in the pram, go to the mall or a drive somewhere, take DD out and baby just has to come too, so that at least you're not stuck in a darkened room all day like I tended to be, lol

I used a baby sling in the early days and it was a miracle. I did get tired but whatever helped in sleep at that stage is what I went with. It also helped with his wind issues as when I'd put him down he'd wake 20 mins later as well. I'd always fed him to sleep but when I changed to feed, play sleep he was MUCH better at staying down. He does only still do 45-60 min naps now. I think it's just the type of baby too. They are alert and want to be apart of everything! I have a nephew who's 4 and my SIL said he was the same as a baby and he still has trouble falling asleep :( So I think he's just one of those babys... I was reading "Sleeping like a baby" and she said her son catnapped and he's an adult who's very bright and can survive on little sleep so it's not all bad :)

Update on this...

I took her to an Osteopath and its been great. She's calmer and less spilly, with less dirty naps and wind too. She's been having 1-2 hours naps and settling herself beautifully. Not sure if it will last but am making the most of it!

Since at night your baby has no problem sleeping you should definitely try to recreate the night conditions during the day – and you can start by having the windows covered in blackout blinds – these do wonders for day sleeping as they block sunlight from entering the room. These blinds do wonders with my 2 year old and as a plus, never models of blackout blinds are child safe. Hope this helps

Edited by SamanthaK