How did you know you were ready for no 2?

Well... my little girl is a terrible sleeper and was a difficult baby, as you know. And there is a genetic component to many of her issues, so odds are relatively high I'll have another one the same - I'll let you know shortly I hope!

So yes, even at 10 days overdue, I'm worried about how DD will cope with the baby (and how the heck I'll cope if it sleeps as badly as she does, given I barely coped with her and that was without a toddler to deal with as well).

I flip between so excited and so terrified. I think that's normal, especially when you've had the experience we've had.

The things that reassure me are that now I *know* the baby will eventually grow up into an awesome little kid, like DD is doing. And that I've got more experience in how to deal with things like the crap sleep and the health issues. I have a better idea what is normal and what isn't, so can work on getting treatment for what isn't.

I have left DD for a few nights once, but with DH who is awesome with her. I'm hoping to avoid having to leave her at all during something so huge in her life as a new baby by having a home birth - but I have organised for her to stay at her favourite aunt's place if that seems like a better idea at the time.

Its one of those things I think - no one can tell you if you are ready or not. There will always be pros and cons, but deep down you'll know what you want

We decided to try for baby two when DS was 6 months old, we were really excited about it and the terrified didn't really set in until I got the BFP

Seriously though, we had always planned to have a smaller age gap and throughout my whole pregnancy I went back and forth from completely and utterly excited to worrying how on earth I would cope, especially seeing as I don't have any of my own family in NZ. We were very fortunate that after a very rocky birth and first few days, DS was a really good baby but I was worried that DD may not have been especially seeing as we had such a small gap - DS needed me as much as DD would and I worried I wouldn't be able to do it.

But with all that said, it has been awesome! We all have our moments, some days aren't that great and some are fabulous! But you just cope and I'm so so glad we listened to our gut to try for no. 2 when we did.

I agree that it's just one of those things, I knew deep down that the pros would far outweigh the cons

Edited by MrsEmma

I had severe PND but never had the 'normal' baby problems - DS1 was a great sleeper, eater and all-round cruisy baby, we had major but fairly once-off type health issues like meningitis, and maybe that made a difference in how I felt compared to people who have terrible sleepers, etc but I was always pretty keen on having another. I got clucky when he was almost 2 and we were dicussing it but then I got a BFP before we'd actually made a decision and promptly panicked hahaha I think I cried and freaked out the entire 9 months!!! I never bonded with my bump and was severely depressed, positive I could never love another baby like I loved DS1 but also worried he'd be less inportant. Then DS2 arrived and it was magic everything feel into place, DS1 adored his brother, DH adored both of them - he loved DS1 even more than before, I didn't get even an inkling of PND and fell head over heels in love with DS2 without it affecting my relationship with DS1 at all! I was home the same day he arrived so DS1 spent one night with friends of ours who he adored and they spoilt him rotten and he's so excited about this baby arriving coz he reckons him and DS2 are gonna go stay with their grandparents this time and have icecream and watch all his favourite dvds while mama and daddy go pick the baby up from the hospital Fabulous if it was that easy...

I still have a special bond with DS1 but I have a different special bond with DS2 and love them both equally! It was the best thing we could have done for DS1 too. He adores his brother and vice versa and hes extremely excited at the idea of having another baby

With the money side of things we actually ended up better off because we already had everything from DS1 so we didn't have to buy anything except some more NB cloth nappies which I got secondhand anyway and our WFF went up.

Anyway I don't know how much of that novel is helpful but yeah I had a really hard time coming to terms with having another baby though I was already pregnant, I think its quite normal, specially when its been rough with #1. That doesn't necessarily mean you'll have the same issues though. Hope you can figure it out for your family

Edited by Babe

DS1 was a hard baby for me. I've heard stories of worse, but he was bad enough. Still we started TTC at 9mths, fell when DS1 was 12mths. If I knew then what I know now I'd wait a bit longer, like an extra 3 to 6mths.

DS1 wasn't a good sleeper, still isn't. I don't have family here so it's just our little family unit with very little external support. That being said I was sure I wanted more than 1, actually if I have enough time & health I'll have another

I mean I know the first bit is tough and you've got to do it all again (with #1 at your feet), but it really is easier the 2nd time round. Cheaper because you've got so much baby stuff already. I also found I was just able to be more OK with what was going on. I'm finding it hard to explain what I mean.... not physically easier, but mentally way easier. I remember people told me to 'enjoy' DS1 being a baby and I didn't get it, now with DS2 I get that.

My DS had really severe reflux - to the point he would refuse to feed and ended up failing to gain weight for a month. He was a shocking sleeper because of that. I was emotionally BROKEN by the time he was six months old due to sleep deprivation and stress/worry about him.
Yet I still wanted to have my second baby asap! Crazy I know! So we started trying again as soon as all was physically working 'down there'. I conceived when DS was six months old. Luckily, he started sleeping through the night at six months as he reflux just magically disappeared! He was still difficult with eating, but at least we didn't have the screaming etc anymore.
My DD is 4 months old tomorrow! It is hard work having two babies, but I wouldn't change it for the world. And it is actually much much easier than I had expected. I think that's because I prepared myself for the worst (reflux, sleepless nights etc) and DD proved to be the textbook angel baby. She has been sleeping through the night for the past week, self-settles like a dream since we took her dummy away and she found her thumb instead. I also worried I couldn't love a second baby as much, but you just do. She is SO incredibly happy and sweet, you can't NOT love her!

And it REALLY is so much easier second time round! You have much more of an idea of what you're actually doing!

There is no right or wrong way when do what you feel is best.

For me my son was diagnosed with autism just before he turned 2 so anymore children was off the radar. By the time he was 4 I felt our family wasn't complete and DD came along in 08 when he was 5.5. I am glad we made the right decision to have the second one as she is a wonderful 3 year old always helps out and doesn't stop talking.

I didnt know. It just happened :P We decided we might have another at some stage, but when those words came out of my mouth, I was already preg anyway hahaha!