10 Month Old STILL NOT TAKING SOLIDS...

I'm at my wits end and would appreciate all the advice I can get from other Mums on OB

So heres the situation; My boy is 10 months old and has never really been a big eater! Still being breastfed and waking several times a night hungry ...which i think is due to the fact that he's not taking solids in the day!

I rang Plunketline for help, by that stage I was in tears. I don't understand where I am going wrong. We have a daily routine ...not so much based on times, but we have an order of things that we do! (if that makes sense).

Ever since 4.5 months he has gone through his stages of liking his baby food! On good days he was taking 3-4 cans/jars (the 4-6month & 6-7month ones)! He doesn't eat anything I make (vege wise) ...and he is rather select with his finger foods! He will take a couple bites and then throw them straight on the ground, and now with eating off of a spoon he clamps his mouth shut and holds his breath, whacks the spoon out of my hand and screams at me!

I feel like we are going around in circles....I can tell he is hungry but have no idea why he is doing this, we have tried nearly EVERY food (all shapes and forms) available in the supermarkets.

Now plunket suggested I use CIO (Cry it out) method ...to get him to sleep through the night so then he will take his food during the day, and altho i see where they are coming from in the respect that maybe he is feeding a little too much at night, I don't agree with CIO. My boy is perfectly happy UNTIL i lock him in the room leaving him in his cot to the point that he is screaming, going purple in the face, saturated from all the crying, choking and gagging ....shaking even! WHY MAKE HIM UNHAPPY?!?!?! Sure he has to learn when its bed time ...but it seems to only be making the situation worse and I feel its cruel!

It makes it harder that I live with my parents, so I have to think about them as well when it comes to Bub crying at night, and I feel I HAVE to breastfeed him when he wakes up hungry....I can't just starve him!

Any suggestions as to how I can Fix this problem asap. I would kill just to have him sleep through the night FOR THE FIRST TIME & to have a day where he eats all his food with no hassles. I just don't know how to get there and am sick of plunket suggesting the same damn thing time and time again! THERE HAS TO BE AN ALTERNATIVE APPROACH!

So stressful, I fear the worst....He's down to 10kg, and at 8 months was 10.34 kg (I know doesn't sound like much weight loss, but over a period of two months he should have gained a fair bit, not lost it) ...I don't want to see my boy in hospital (worst case scenario here) ...IT CAN'T GO ON!!!

HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!

Daniel isn't quite at that age yet but this is how we get him use to new foods and fruit as he hated fruit.

Put him in his highchair and tip a can of whatever food on his little table and let him play with it and suck his own fingers etc. This helped him get use to textures and new tastes. Though it is a bit messy it's helped Daniel like fruit a lot more than he did. We usually only do this at dinner time though so he's straight in the bath afterwards hehe

Otherwise, the only thing I can think of is at night rather than feeding him boobie, what about a bottle of water? Does he wake up at the same times roughly each night? If he does you could try stretching these out. Like if he wakes at midnight rather than feeding him straight away, push it out til 12:30ish by trying water first.

I don't know if that helps at all.

If he's afraid of the cot try a comfort toy or something. Daniel went through a brief stage of screaming when we put him in his cot so we gave him a taggie blanket. We made him hold it during feeds etc and then give it to him before we put him in his cot. It was a good distraction and something familiar that was associated with something very good.

The wrestlessness may be partly caused by feeding to sleep because his last images are different to that when he wakes in the night so he probably is like huh what happened?!

Oh poor you and poor Lucas, that sounds horrible.

DD has gone through stages of not wanting much food and waking in the night, but usually comes right after a few weeks, I can't imagine how tired you must be!

My thoughts: First of all, and I know this is much easier said than done, try to forget everything that has gone before and start again with a clean slate with his solids. Don't stress about how much or how little he is eating. I find that if I'm stressed or anxious or wound up at DD's meal times she won't eat well because she picks up on my emotional state. Hard to do when they're wacking the spoon out of your hands, I know! Try to make it so meal times are enjoyable for both of you and maybe the positive association will start to encourage him to eat more. Have faith that he will get there eventually.
If the routine stuff doesn't work, maybe offer him lots of small meals often throughout the day? Even if it's the same thing that he will eat, probably quantity is less important than variety right now.
Give him a bit of control with feeding - give him his own spoon? It might be messy but it may also give him something new to try?
That's all I can think of. Good luck, let us know how it goes - I hope something works for you guys soon. And don't be too worried if he's taking it slowly, each baby is different. My 15 month old is only just 10kg now so maybe his weight isn't too much of an issue just yet. Is he starting to be more active too? I know that once they start moving more a weight drop is expected.
Hope something in there helps!

First

Does he get upset as soon as you put him in his highchair? If so I would put him in there with toys and just let him play so that he doesn't associate it with just having food. I would also try feeding him with him sitting on your lap (if poss, i know they can be v.wriggly).
Definitely try letting him just get messy with the food, I normally let Spencer have the spoon towards the end of his meal cos he loves trying to feed himself and it keeps it a bit more fun for him, most of it ends up on his face rather in his mouth but he enjoys it.
I read that they go through a stage of dropping food off highchairs just cos they like to watch it drop to the floor, they do the same with toys as well so that might just be that stage intermingled with him not taking to solids very well.
Do you offer his solids first? or is he already filled up on milk when you try to give them? Could you try getting tough in the day and refuse giving the boob until he has eaten some solids?

Have you looked at any sleep solutions that don't involve CIO, there are lots of kinder methods.
Also will he take milk from a bottle? Perhaps you could express and only offer bottles to him at night so he doesn't get as snuggly as he does with breastfeeding and then you could slowly water the EBM down (if giving water at his wake ups doesn't work).

Big hugs for you and Lucas hope things work out. Sorry I have no advice