Do I NEED a routine?

to some a routine is a very strict time schedule, and i certainly never had one of those. But i did have a routine in that one thing usually followed another...not in the very early days though, it was whatever baby wants baby gets!

i think it depends on your lifestyle and what sort of person you are as to what sort of routine fits in.

Stacey I was a little bit like you when it came to the routine thing, I didn't want to have such a 'strict' routine that I couldn't do things I wanted or needed to do. There were a few things we did from very early on in terms of structure, but otherwise our days could involve any number of feeds (though not so many sleeps unfortunately!) and being based anywhere.

We tried to make sure that between the hours of 7pm and 7am we treated her going-to-sleep and waking-up times differently from the daytime. As in, we tried to have less interaction and keep lights dim etc. so she could get the idea that it was night time. She'd still take up until 10/11pm to settle for her overnight sleep, but from very early on until about 3mths old she slept 6 or 7 hours or more consistently.

Also, I was able to pick up on how long she'd cope with being up before she was ready for her next sleep. I think at about 5mths it might have been 1hr45mins up then she'd start to get tired and if I didn't catch her right then, she'd go hyper lol. So I'd try getting her to sleep at, or just before, the 1hr45min mark. She didn't always sleep, and either way once she was 'up' again the clock went back to 0. She'd get a second wind and last about 1hr45mins again before it was worth trying to get her back to sleep. For Bethany, sleep meant buggy or car or bed or anywhere I could get her to sleep depending on what we were doing. Obviously we weren't always able to keep to that time frame but it helped to have it in mind!

In my opinion, if what you're doing is working for you, then keep going! Unfortunately with Bethany after 3mths her night wake ups got increasingly worse - overnight feeding no longer put her back to sleep instead she'd wake every 1-2hrs and take 1-2hrs to get back to sleep with a lot of help from us. We had to get tough in the end cuz we simply couldn't cope and it was just getting worse. Throw maybe two 25-45min day naps (if we were lucky) into the day and although we had a happy baby, we were all so tired we couldn't see straight! :( But that was just us, doesn't sound like you're striking those probs which is great!!

The one thing I'd maybe suggest is having a regular night bed time and routine associated with it, as much as possible. In the end that was our saving grace - we'd started it from sometime after the 3mth mark and when, at 6mths, we had to get tough, she at least knew what bedtime meant at night. When I say that, obviously the time itself can change depending on what you're doing or where you are, but if you have maybe 2-3 things that you do the same before that particular bedtime, then you're teaching him what comes next. Before you know it, he might even be looking for those things at that time of night when he gets tired :) With Bethany it's saying goodnight to her toys, reading a book, and cuddling up on mummy with a song before we tuck her into bed. She knows the same 3 things will happen every night, no matter where she is, and that it will be different to her day nap. Just a thought anyway!

Hope that helps :-)

ETA - yikes sorry for the essay!!!

Edited by kmarie

In saying all that, I should mention that my mother was very all over the place with us when we were babies in terms of routine (her mother had been very strict with routines and she was rebelling somewhat).

I had trouble sleeping right up until I was about 18 and was very forgetful and disorganised until about the same age. What's impossible to know is whether or not this was at all linked to not having a routine as a baby/child, or if that was just me.

Linzy wrote: HeidisMum wrote: "There are no absolute rules about raising children. Raise yours in ways that are right for you. Address only problems that are problems to you. Don’t imagine problems because someone else thinks you have them, even if that person is family, friend or expert. Read, listen and learn constantly, but always sift what you learn through the strainer of your personal beliefs and parenting philosophy"

What a great quote Linzy!

I've never set a routine as such. Mac has always been a 3 hourly feeder from the day he was born  (with the exception of growth spurts and his evening cluster feeds).

I tend to just go with it. The only thing we worked on in the sense of a routine was teaching him the difference between day and night. He sleeps for longer stretches at nigh than he does through the day.

I do the same kind of tings with each each time he wakes up. Like he wakes so it's feed, play, change, play, feed, sleep. So he knows whats going to happen next but I guess I've kind of worked my day to fit around him.
For example, he wakes around 1-2 in the afternoons, once he's back down to sleep I start preparing dinner, so when he wakes again at 4/5, once I get him back down, I cook our dinner