well after much searching I have actually found a product for setting dye and then removing any left over - this isnt for my trusty pair of jeans, but a new business venture so I needed to find something that worked 100% - who wants to buy anything that bleeds!
its called retayne if anyone else was looking, and then wash with synthrapol
Thanks!! salt and vinegar do work too - to a degree - apaprently best when used together - but still take a few washes to completely clear the loose particles