Childcare costs

It also depends on how much you can earn, If you work at a supermarket/retail store for example you might get $14.50 - $16.50 before tax and then to pay $6.50 per hour in childcare just doesnt stack up by time you count all the petrol/lunches/etc

Id be staying at home if I was in your situation MAMA T when pregnant and just making do, get the WFF if entitled and have a big sell up on trademe to help ends meet. Thats what I did when I got made redundant whilst on maternity leave with DD2

Why are mums so "ashamed" to stay at home whilst there kids are under 5?

In america its done a turn around and if you can afford to be a SAHM its looked as fantastic

but then everyone's financial situations are different so that can mean back to work very early on after baby.....so yes each to there own but be proud of what you choose Mamma T and dont feel presured to do something you dont want to do, You are pregnant and have a toddler, that is a 24/7 "job" in itself

Gosh we really do all carry our own perceptions don't we.
Girls Rock says why are mums so ashamed to stay at home.
I see things as being the opposite.
I am 28 weeks pregnant and have a 2.5 year old and work full time. People feel free to regularly make comments about the fact that I work.
Only 3 out of 12 of us from my coffee group returned to work full time and we 3 feel constantly judeged by all and sundry including lots of SAHM about our working. On a daily basis we hear comments like - " I don't understand why people have children if they can't look after them themselves" and lots of people who think they are being 'subtle' or sensitive with ones like
"I am sure it is fine for your family but I would never let my xxx old be looked after by strangers - nobody can ever do as good a job as the mother" etc etc.
Which are the opposite of subtle and extremely rude.

I don't think any of my friends who are SAHM's are ashamed and I am sorry if anyone is because it's great if this is what they want to do.

Re Childcare costs - As said above it all depens on how much you would earn in relation to the costs. However I hope that you can make your decision based on more than just what makes sense financially. Hopefully your finances allow you to consider what is going to make you, your DH and baby happiest - good luck.

Mine is in daycare 3 days a week and we pay something like 155 per week? I'm quite happy to work although I don't technically need to, but if it wasn't for my job and work conditions it wouldn't be feasible (or happy) for us. I love my job, and the people I work with. They really make the job for me. I'm also quite happy to have my DD in daycare as she gets such great social interaction from it that I wouldn't necessarily be giving her otherwise.
Nearly everyone at work has children of school age or younger and my boss is a dedicated grandma so time off for sick babies and/or flexible working hours are not an issue at all.
I've financially figured I can have 3 kids before I'm in essence paying to go to work, but if I had twins (or eek more) next time, or if I lost my job for whatever reason I'd have a serious rethink.

Edited by Bky

DS goes to a staff daycare so it is subsidised and for the under 3's its $40 per day or $170 per week. Waaaay better than the $80 per day place I was looking at!

I guess it does depend on how much you earn, whether you could work part time etc. I work 30ish hours a week and DS is in daycare 3 1/2 days a week and it works for us.

kind of off topic but have you sat down and talked to dh about why he wnats you to return to work??
See i had the oppersite reason i wanted to return dp didn't want me to we sat down and I gave my reasons and he gave his - turns out he was totally jealous I got to stay home and watch her grown up while he worked, Also he didnt want me to go back fulltime nor back to my old job which was long hours, a lot of responsibilty etc and we both decided we didn't want DD is fulltime day care or eitehr of us to work weekends. We both had to meet in the middle - I found a new job - fulltime but less stress however it did equal a paycut - dd is in daycare 3 days and cared for my family the other 2. Maybe you could find out why he thinks you should work??
for me my reasons were i am not old fashion were as mum stays home dad works - i personally think what every situation works for the family, I like working i like spending therefore i like working knowing i get to spend what i earn haha .. DD LOVES daycare ..
and based on what you said so i went abit off topic - We dont get WFF or CC Sub so we pay $200 for 3 days

I guess that's what it comes down to - you'll have to nut out between yourselves whether it's worth it for the extra $150ish or less a week. I agree, in my point of view it totally wouldn't be worth it if you didn't want it yourself and could cope without the money, that much extra pocket money wouldn't be that important to me if it would make me unhappy. But I guess that's something that only you guys can decide / reach an agreement on.

On the 'bigger picture' stuff, I think the reason so many people feel guilty over whatever decision they make is that it's this huge decision that will affect your and your baby's life a lot, and there's really good pros and cons both ways. So it's easy to second-guess yourself. I think there's no 'right' way of doing it, and that everyone should just do what is right for their family and tell anyone who criticises them where to go (easier said than done, I find, but I still believe it even if it's somewhat harder in practice!)

Edited by Hopes

Well said caliandjack - I think privileged is the bang on word for it

I have just gone back to almost full-time work. I pay $157 a week (per child) for full-time care (40 hours per week) which includes food, but not nappies. I get a (very good) subsidy however so it works out that I myself pay around $60 a week for both girls. I feel privileged that I was able to stay at home with my girls most of the time (I worked Fri-Mon, and they are at their dads for 2/3 of those days) but for myself, I could never get anywhere financially as I was, nor did I have security of hours at my job. I have just started working 9am-3.30pm Mon-Fri which works out excellent, although I miss my time with the girls something chronic - but for me, I need to be able to offer them a chance at life, and I was struggling as I was.

MamaT wrote: His reasoning is purely financial. Although after sitting down, doing some sums and discussing it in depth, it looks as though we would only be about $100-150 a week better off than we are now, which for me, really isn't worth the stress of it all. Thanks for all the replies ladies. I can't get over just how expensive daycare can cost, and the variance from centre to centre and across the country.

My centre charges $280 pw under 3 yo so you would be looking at $560 pw for your two (if you went back to work straight after having no.2)

It sounds like you've made the best choice for you and your family. Relax and enjoy your toddler now. You'll be busy with a new baby soon enough and will look back on this time you are having now.

I have 2 little ones at private daycare - one for 18 hours one of 12 hours. The big one gets ECE and I pay $33 a week after that - the little one is $40 a day!

If they were both at kindy I would pay $461 a week - for fulltime care. For the little one it would be 262 alone - I could only work in the city so after gas - probably $100 a week as we are out of town - plus $50 parking - then coffee or lucnhes etc which I say I wont buy but I would come out with naff all.

depends on what you do - if your getting a grand in the hand go for it - but jeepers being pregnant starting a new job and then dealing with bubba and husband when you get home - sounds like exhaustion to me - you would also loose any benefits (like wff) etc and then there is the simple fact that youd miss all that special time you would rather be spending with your baby / babies

I think hubby is being a bit of a meanie, sorry