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Mrs_B 
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Location: Hamilton
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 Topic: Appointment with midwife question
Posted: 08 October 2008 at 9:46am |
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I have my first appt with my midwife next week. Am I suppose to take my husband?? or do you usually wait until further on? or not at all?? TIA
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febbabe
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 9:56am |
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Hi didn't take my husband to the first appointment. It turned out to be a lot of talking about me, them and filling out form etc.
He came to the next one though which was after the 12 week scan but hasn't been since. It was great for him to hear the heartbeat at that appointment.
I guess he will come again further on when we get closer to due date to discuss the birth etc.
Good luck
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*Lou*
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 9:59am |
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Hi Mrs B
The first meeting is usually like an 'interview' - where you see if you like them. If you sign on with them they usually have a longer second appointment where you need to go through both yours and DHs family history.
So I would recommend taking him to the first couple to see if he also likes the midwife and to get his family history. After that is up to you. He probably doesn't have to be there until the end so that he knows your birth plan. But I think some hubbys are really keen and go to many appointments!
Good luck!
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 9:59am |
The first appt is normally a meet and greet. She may also listen to the babies heartbeat but don't worry if you can't hear it, it's still early days. Your DH can go along but is not necessary, it's really up to you and DH.
My DH came to nearly all my appointments (he missed 2 MW appts near the end and my 32 week scan but was at all the others) in contrast my sister was preg at the same time as me and her husband didn't go to any of the appts.
I think it's kind of nice to have them there, especially if they get to hear the heartbeat it's a way of making everything more real for them and building a connection. The first time we heard the heartbeat DH pulled out his phone an recorded it which was really sweet, everynow and then throughout the pregnancy he'd play it back.
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Mrs_B
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 10:08am |
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Well actually technically it's my 2nd appt with her then as I have already done the meet and greet thing at 5 weeks as she's really popular and I had to get in quick! She took alot of history then and I asked a lot of questions and sign the contract thingy so I guess this appt will be shorter?
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baalamb
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 10:15am |
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It's up to the individual, I think. You could give him the choice and see what he thinks but they're rather boring appointments in the early stages! DH wouldn't expect to come to MW appointments with me, but I'd invite him if I thought there was going to be something interesting LOL!
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Natalie_G
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 10:26am |
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I took DH to the first few appointments just to get to know the MW a little, but now he doesnt go because he doesnt need to lol.
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Aprilfools
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 10:26am |
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DH has come to all of our appointments. It's entirely up to you though.
We felt that it was just as important for DH to build up a relationship with our MW as it was me. My DH is the sort of person that always has lots of questions though and always wants to know all the details so I guess that's another reason. I guess more than anything we feel we're in it together.
Hope you have a good appointment.
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Danaj
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 10:27am |
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My DH wants to go the every app. He just sits there an listens and I think is quite content to get the arvo of work lol. He's away at the mo so can't come to these ones as i've changed midwives but he's back in three weeks and will start coming again.
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kebakat
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 10:33am |
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DH came to the first appt. I thought it was important for him to meet the MW because while I'm in labour he is the one working with the MW to help me so I thought it was important for him to feel good about her as well as me.
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Mrs_B
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 10:39am |
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Okay I think maybe I will take him along then. Just didn't know if it was the "done" thing. Didn't want the MW thinking I was strange!
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Leelee
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 11:32am |
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Dh came to the first few appointments, he hasnt been to the last couple but will come to the business end ones, it really is an individual choice, He was excited and wanted to see what it all involved
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busymum
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 7:43pm |
They probably are used to either way. I like my DH to come along from about 6mos when we start talking birth plans. I also like to get him along at approx 10-12 weeks+ for the first hearing of the heartbeat. Oh and the 20 week scan  So with all that, I don't like him to have to take any more time off work LOL.
Personally I wouldn't worry about it for the first visit, although the mw will ask you about genetics (heart, lung, athsma and other things) which it would pay to ask your DH about prior (or complete at a later date, I guess). In my case, it helps to ask the MIL 
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 08 October 2008 at 7:48pm |
My DH came to most appointments last time appart from the last few.
This time he didnt come to the first one but came to the ones after that, then cause he's in Oz he cant come although would like to be there, nice reassurance for him as well to hear bubs heart beat. He does grill me about the appointments though
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Kel
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Appointment with midwife question
