And she’s asleep!

My 5w6d old sweetheart just fell asleep (at 11pm). She last dozed off for a bit in my lap at about 11am this morning. She is a lovely, alert baby who almost never sleeps. We're told that at her age they sleep for 16.5 hours a day- she'd just about manage six on a good one, if you added up the two-minute (literally!) dozes she has after her feeds and the decent 3 or 4 hour sleep she usually has at some time between 10pm and 4am.

The Plunket nurse came for the first time the other day. She was beyond awful, talking in a singsongy voice, saying things like "Baby wants you to do this" and "But Baby thinks such and such" instead of addressing me directly like an adult. I asked for advice about how to get her to sleep during the day and got nothing. Instead, she said, "You know, SOME silly mummies and daddies deliberately keep their babies up during the day to make them sleep at night! But Baby doesn't like that, no she doesn't" etc.

I felt like throwing the idiot out (breastfeeding baby in my lap stopped me). How dare she? Especially after I'd mentioned what we'd already tried, namely: cuddling her, shushing her, rocking her, taking her outside, taking her for walks in her pram, putting her down to sleep on the floor and in her bassinette and in our bed, taking her in the car, baths, carrying her in the sling, rocking her in her rocker, swaddling, unswaddling. Everything seems to work like a charm ONCE and then never again. Her best sleeps are on her tummy on her dad's chest, but he has to work and cook and clean and do almost everything else while I do the breastfeeding-on-demand thing, so isn't available as a mattress except overnight. I watch for the signs (fists, yawns, etc.) but can't coax her to sleep. What to do?

Also... we're told she won't grow properly if she doesn't sleep more. Is that true?

Thanks,
Sarah

PS. She's so gorgeous and smiley and almost never cries, and then is easily soothed. We're lucky and it's an absolute joy being her mother.

PPS. Can you just tell the Plunket nurses to bugger off, or will this have you blacklisted as a bad parent with social services? Can Plunket nurses be useful?

Hi Sarah. I have to say it's really common for bubs to go through stages like yours is doing now. Sounds like you are handling it so well.
Remember also that babies are individuals so whats normal may not be normal for your leittle girl.
You could try to see a plunket centre which helps with getting new borns to sleep as they may have some tips too.

Oh hun, that is rough. I had a baby much like yours, he hardly slept at all and I was constantly being given "well meaning" advice from anyone and everyone.

With my boy, I had to be really onto it with his tired signs (which I all figured out eventually), if I didn't notice it in time it would be all over and he wouldn't sleep at all and end up way overtired.
DS would often only sleep on my chest after a breastfeed, so I would take us both off to bed or lay on the couch together which meant I got a good rest too. At that age just do whatever you have to do to get through the days.

nzpiper has given a link to a great website with lots of good advice.

You sound like a fantastic mum, your little girl is lucky to have you xx

Sorry I don't have any helpful sleep advice to add but just wanted to say OMG at your plunket nurse! I want to punch her just reading about it! What a patronising *insert rude word here*.

Absolutely you can ditch plunket - someone else has said you can request a different nurse - or you can ditch them altogether and have the check ups at your GP I have a lovely plunket nurse but tbh I've never found them overly useful, apart from the weighing and measuring and you can do that at the GP.

Best of luck, hope you figure out some methods that work more than once!

She is so young still so this could just be her settling into life, but i'm all for trying to improve things anyway before totally giving up. As above she might be snacking and snoozing, so yep trying to get a good feed in without her nodding off during, then small awake time before watching for tired signs.

With alert babies i reckon you almost need to watch the clock more than signs cos if i saw the signs with DS2 it was too late. I finally had success when i started putting him down earlier than i thought - about 45 mins if i remember.   Very low stim room (no dangly things or pictures within view) and white noise also helps alert babies and yep swaddling. I also side slept my DS2 in a sleep wedge for a few weeks when he was really little and boy that really helped.

And letting him grizzle a bit too rather than getting him up without giving him a chance to settle down. He still always has a little wail before going to sleep and the more i was in there, shhing and patting in the early days the more overtired he would get cos i wasn't letting him get on with getting to sleep! I wish i'd figured that out at 6 weeks instead of 4 months.

That plunket lady is awful, get a new one. If the sleep doesn't get any better look into the plunket family centres, they are awesome.

Sounds like you're doing great hun, keep trying some of the suggestions you get and eventually you'll crack what works for your girl. The first few months are really all about you and her trying to figure each other out a bit. And what works for one doesn't for others. Keep us updated on how you get on.

Have you got a Plunket Family Centre close to you? If you're in Akld there's a fantastic one in Meadowbank. They're such a big help with settling babies to sleep during the day.

PS: I hate it how people say "Baby" rather than their actual name - so generic!!!

hi sjanenz

My now 12week old daughter is much the same. She would only sleep on me in the beginning. Still not a great day sleeper, she was born in october and it has been very hot so wrapping didn't work for us (well it did once, I'd tried everything else and was desperate).
We have ended up just going with the flow during the day (I do try to make sure she has at least 3 45min sleeps). It is usually either rocking, walking or feeding that gets her there. Can you BF her laying on your/her side so maybe she can stay asleep after BF?
Her tired signs have changed slightly as shes gotten older, now she likes to talk when shes tired. I'm hoping to get her into a cot soon as I've just treated the last 12 weeks as the 4th trimester of pregnancy though it has been exhusting.
Oh you could also try a sling or front pack? I didn't want to use a sling & she wasn't keen on the front pack but it might work for you?


Edited by phantom_1

Hmm, I'm going to be extraordinarily un PC and suggest perhaps if you sleep her near you to try putting her down to sleep on her tummy. From the sounds of it she rather likes it and may sleep more.

Also, some babies are just happy on less sleep, my baby is the other side of things and sleeps MUCH more than the recommended "dosage" and always has done. There is a HUGE range of normal.

As said above, a quick routine that you use every time you put her down to sleep may help.
As an example, we use change, feed, say nighnighs to everyone (or objects, TV, fridge, cats etc if home alone) and then off to wherever "bed" is.