OHbaby! Forums : ugh..unwanted advice https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sun, 05 Apr 2026 19:56:08 +0000 Wed, 04 Aug 2010 19:28:04 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 11.10 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=35067 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : One of my favourite lines (when...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118339&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118339 Author: T_Rex
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 7:28pm

One of my favourite lines (when I want to shut them up rather than be polite/nice) is "you know I've met your kids, right?"
In the right tone it'll stop nearly anyone from giving parenting advice, but it is a bit mean ]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 19:28:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118339&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118339 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : thanks for all the replies i...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118274&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118274 Author: nicandtyler
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 6:36pm

thanks for all the replies i try to nod and say yep ok, but really starting to bother me more and more, so might be time to just be straight up with her and tell her to stop commenting on what i do as a parent, she does try to defend herself by saying that shes just trying to help, but ive told her that i know what im doing and me and DP are both happy with the way things are going (and DS! he loves being in bed with mum and dad) and gardengirl my mum is really supportive just like your grandmother, she says that all over the world people co-sleep and she did it with all of us girls and she keeps telling me that as long as we're all happy then we shouldnt change what we're doing, which i completely agree with! i guess its harder with family members cos we're a pretty close family and see eachother so often, but i think enoughs enough! ]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 18:36:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118274&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118274 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : Gardengirl wrote:Not really...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118188&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118188 Author: Guests
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 4:36pm

Originally posted by Gardengirl Gardengirl wrote:

Not really commenting on the unwanted advice as such....but we co-slept for a while and at the time it was exactly what we all needed to get some sleep. I was starting to get a bit defensive about it as people can be sooooo negative about it and sooooo opinionated. And one day my 90 year old grandmother who is a mother of 9 herself said to me "good on you girl, you don't see baby animals sleeping on one side of the hedge with the parents on the other" and I loved that so much I started quoting it to any critics to shut them up and it did too.


I really like that analogy I might use it too .

I tend to smile and nod as well and say mmmmmm a lot.   A lot of the negative opinions are from uninformed people IMO.   
]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 16:36:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118188&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118188 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : I often co slept with Lily for...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118170&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118170 Author: High9
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 4:19pm

I often co slept with Lily for the first 10 weeks until she moved to her cot and magically learned to self settle! Guess not having DP snore helped a lot.]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 16:19:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118170&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118170 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : Not really commenting on the unwanted...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118150&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118150 Author: Gardengirl
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 3:54pm

Not really commenting on the unwanted advice as such....but we co-slept for a while and at the time it was exactly what we all needed to get some sleep. I was starting to get a bit defensive about it as people can be sooooo negative about it and sooooo opinionated. And one day my 90 year old grandmother who is a mother of 9 herself said to me "good on you girl, you don't see baby animals sleeping on one side of the hedge with the parents on the other" and I loved that so much I started quoting it to any critics to shut them up and it did too.]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:54:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118150&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118150 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : hee hee - go crafty! Thats a good...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118092&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118092 Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 3:16pm

hee hee - go crafty! Thats a good long term solution - you arent going to change so to get her off your back its best if she knows how you feel.
]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:16:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118092&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118092 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : i&#039;d do the opposite to Bizzy,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118086&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118086 Author: crafty1
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 3:09pm

i'd do the opposite to Bizzy, but probably cos i'm argumentative!

No really she's your sis and you're going to see and hear a lot from her so i'd just set her straight in the nicest possible way. "I love you and appreciate you raised your boy and he turned out great BUT i love sleeping with Tyler, we are happy as a family doing this and it hurts me when you question my parenting all the time. By all means think what you like but please stop going on at me about it" If she brings stuff up again just tell her that this is one of those things you'll have to agree to disagree about.

If you do it nicely and slip in some compliments about her boy she can't get her back up but you've made it clear where you stand and she should stop hassling you, otherwise she'll just keep going on and on.

If it was someone i hardly saw then i'd do what Bizzy said. ]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:09:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118086&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118086 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : I tend to do the same as Bizzy,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118020&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118020 Author: MamaT
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 1:57pm

I tend to do the same as Bizzy, I like to keep the peace generally. Although occassionally there are those people that just do not let it go and my tongue hurts from biting it so often , so then I'll just say something like "We do what works for us", smile and walk away.

It is really hard at times though

]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 13:57:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1118020&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1118020 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : Yeah same lines as Bizzy but then...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117755&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117755 Author: High9
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 9:52am

Yeah same lines as Bizzy but then continue what I am doing or I just continue doing what I am doing and say something like why fix what isn't broken, it's working for us.

ETA: Or we'll cross that bridge when we get to it!

Edited by Lil_Nic9]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 09:52:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117755&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117755 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : yeah I tend to go along the lines...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117729&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117729 Author: first
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 9:31am

yeah I tend to go along the lines of Bizzy.]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 09:31:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117729&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117729 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : just smile, nod, maybe go hmmm...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117723&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117723 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 9:25am

just smile, nod, maybe go hmmm and then do what you want anyway...    sometimes saying things like oh, thats interesting or good point .. is enough to shut them up - makes them think you actually give a damn about what they saying!]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 09:25:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117723&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117723 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : If it were one of my brothers...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117721&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117721 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 9:22am

If it were one of my brothers telling me all that(i dont have a sister) Id probably tell them to shut the hell up and that IM the mother, so its my 'problem" not theirs.]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 09:22:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117721&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117721 <![CDATA[ugh..unwanted advice : anyone else get unwanted advice?...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117700&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117700 Author: nicandtyler
Subject: 35067
Posted: 04 August 2010 at 9:05am

anyone else get unwanted advice? particularly from family members (my sister for me). I co-sleep at night with DS and everytime she comes round its the same thing "is he still sleeping in your bed?" "how long is he gonna do that for?" "is he there every night and all night?" "you know its gonna be sooo hard to get him to sleep in his own bed, you need to let him 'learn' to go to sleep by himself" grrrr its everytime she comes over now and ive tried telling her that i dont believe in crying it out personally, and co-sleeping for us at night is great, DS sleeps from 7pm till 7am everynight (still night snacks which is good for me as i dont have to get out of bed ) it really bothers me and because she had a son (6 years ago) she seems to think she knows everything... oh another thing is friggin tummy time, DS is not crawling yet, which i told her isnt a problem yet, ive had friends whos bubs didnt crawl till 11 months, and she constantly tells me "he needs more time on his tummy" ugh ugh is all i can think, what does everyone do in this situation, just telll her to back off and i dont want her advice?
(sorry for long post..woops!)]]> Wed, 04 Aug 2010 09:05:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35067&PID=1117700&title=ugh-unwanted-advice#1117700