https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 04 Apr 2026 08:09:59 +0000 Wed, 14 Jul 2010 22:00:46 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 11.10 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=34639 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1098468&title=still-fighting-me#1098468 Author: jaz
Subject: 34639
Posted: 14 July 2010 at 10:00pm

I find it much easier to give Caleb choices, like do you want to wear the jeans or the cargo pants?, shower or bath?, get dressed in the bedroom or the lounge? He just likes being able to asert his independence.

Don't be too hard on yourself, if you are taking care of her all day long then she is probably ready for a fresh face by the end of the day, and DH hasn't seen her all day so its probably good for him to do the bathing and feeding while you sort out dinner. ]]> Wed, 14 Jul 2010 22:00:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1098468&title=still-fighting-me#1098468 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095925&title=still-fighting-me#1095925 Author: TheKelly
Subject: 34639
Posted: 12 July 2010 at 4:35pm

oh and that age, they really are all about pushing the boundaries , they especially like to push the ones they spend the most time with during the day .
And then look like little angels to the other parent.
Little monkeys ]]> Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:35:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095925&title=still-fighting-me#1095925 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095921&title=still-fighting-me#1095921 Author: TheKelly
Subject: 34639
Posted: 12 July 2010 at 4:34pm

I've always been very big on making sure the kids know we are the boss, with C I've been pretty lucky , all I had to do was count to 3 , slowly ,and she would stop whatever naughty behavior she was doing and settle down .
However, on the odd occasion that she wouldn't I found that one of the following would work :
a choice of two things (eg, clothes )
time out
bribery
leaving her be until she settled down

later on , (bout age 3 /4) a star chart worked well for her , she loved getting pretty stars for being good ]]> Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:34:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095921&title=still-fighting-me#1095921 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095144&title=still-fighting-me#1095144 Author: kiwikid
Subject: 34639
Posted: 12 July 2010 at 12:43am

We started time out at about 21mths, most things like fussing at nappy change / getting dressed is Ask then Tell (last chance, 1... 2.... 3 lol) and then Time Out. I dont put him in for any designated length of time, half the time I put him there and tell him he is in Time Out and when he is ready to do X he can come out and he follows me back out and if he doesnt comply then he goes back in Time Out (just a spot in the hallway). Every now and then he has to go back 3 or 4 times but usually he complies or has to go back once to see I really mean it.

Things like throwing sand / dirt / toys, pinching, biting etc is immediate time out - he knows they are not acceptable under any circumstances. Again no time limit, he can come back when he is ready to say sorry and play nicely.

If he gets distressed in Time Out then he gets a 'boring cuddle' just the comfort but I dont back down on needing to be in Time Out.

Diane Levy has a good book on Time Out. Like all the books out there, you take from it what you think will work for your family and leave the rest.]]> Mon, 12 Jul 2010 00:43:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095144&title=still-fighting-me#1095144 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095133&title=still-fighting-me#1095133 Author: emz
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 11:01pm

Same here Liz - we started time out before Jack turned one, and he's pretty good with it too!

It's about boundaries - unfortunately as women we generally suck at following up on things - we warn/threaten over and over, whereas men follow through so kids now the buck stops with them.

Having DH gone a lot, I have to try and be mum and dad so it means I've actually studied DH's behaviour with the kids and tried to copy his harshness (for want of a better word) with them (not that I'd let on I did that to him though )]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 23:01:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095133&title=still-fighting-me#1095133 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095110&title=still-fighting-me#1095110 Author: arohanui
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 10:31pm

We were doing time out at that age - it's amazing just how much they understand ]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 22:31:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095110&title=still-fighting-me#1095110 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095080&title=still-fighting-me#1095080 Author: myfullhouse
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 9:47pm

My guess would be that she doesn't fight her Dad as she doesn't know where is boundaries are and how much he will tolerate but she knows how far she can (or can't) push you. She is also learning that she has some control of things and is trying to exert that control.

Letting her have some choice as Bubba2 suggested is a good idea as she has some control over the situation. Maybe let her choose which of 2 tshirts she wears today etc.

I don't think that Jaci is old enough yet for time out and I don't think it would work for him. If he is really misbehaving then he is warned and if he continues he is put on the front step. I walk away and he follows straight away, normally by this stage he is upset and ready to listen to me, if not I return him to the step. When he listens I explain what should have happened, we have a hug and kiss and carry on with what we were doing and he behaves from then on. Basically he is given options and consequences, and he knows that I will follow through. Sometimes he plays up with DH as he thinks up his consequences on the spot and they are often ridiculous and he doesn't follow through. Follow through is the most important part.]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:47:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095080&title=still-fighting-me#1095080 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095065&title=still-fighting-me#1095065 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 9:33pm

My 2yr old is very much the same, he fights me when I change his nappy, not so much getting dressed, I get him to help me, so I say "socks on" and he will try and put them on himself, same with putting his pants on.
He goes to his room if he is being naughty and he knows when he is being naughty now as well! I say to him "Do you want to go to bed" and he shakes his head and say no no no no lol, then I say, ok then, please sit down or whatever I was trying to get him to do in the first place.

]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:33:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095065&title=still-fighting-me#1095065 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095060&title=still-fighting-me#1095060 Author: BeLoved
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 9:29pm

My 19 month old DD is very strong willed and determined (I always tell myself as hard as it can be now, they are good traits to have as you get older - to put a positive spin on it)

My DH goes away alot so sometimes she gets to have Daddy helping there alot other times not at all. Getting dressed is an ordeal for us alot of the time, if I can we do it in front of the TV but at night its in her room and she put up a fight I just keep calm talk calmly and try to distract as I "force" the clothes on.

Toddlers sure are hard work, I have been reading Nigel Lattas book and Pinky McKays Toddler Tactics both very different but great for ideas on how to deal with different situations.

In regards to time out, I personally don't think DD is old enough yet but I do do emotional time out so if she is having a meltdown about something I just switch off and busy myself with something until she stops for example at the moment she wants me to pick her up all the time while I cook dinner so tonight I ignored the constant pleading after explaining I was busy cooking and could she please wait, she went on for another minute then went off and played with something, then when she came back 5 minutes later I picked her up.]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:29:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095060&title=still-fighting-me#1095060 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095030&title=still-fighting-me#1095030 Author: Snappy
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 9:07pm

Same battles here with my 2 year old..the battles start from the moment he wakes up!! I called the plunketline two weeks ago and they suggested putting him in time out (it's just on his bed for us) so for two days he spent most of his time in there. He was often in there with no nappy on too. Now when he isn't co-operating I ask him if he would like to go to timeout, and he quickly replies "no thank you mummy" and does what I ask him. Good luck!!]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:07:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095030&title=still-fighting-me#1095030 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095028&title=still-fighting-me#1095028 Author: High9
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 9:06pm

Lily does this all the time and it's only when I dress her and she's 5 months!

I have noticed she doesn't do it for her dad or MIL and I wonder if it is because they are more cheerful and smiley and playful when they change her. Whereas I am a bit more serious.

Could this be the case with you?]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:06:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095028&title=still-fighting-me#1095028 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095022&title=still-fighting-me#1095022 Author: hannibal
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 9:02pm

DH does a lot. We used to share feeding her in the mornings but since winter DH has been able to do it more than me while I get ready for work. I was doing a shower with her but she started fighting me on this also, so now its either a bath or we let her go into the shower while we hold the water over her. DH generally feds her at night as I'm busy organising dinner. In some way I feel like he is doing more than me and she is now acting up with me because of it. She is a very strong willed/independant wee girl. ]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:02:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095022&title=still-fighting-me#1095022 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095008&title=still-fighting-me#1095008 Author: anon
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 8:56pm

Do you think she's too young for time out?]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:56:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1095008&title=still-fighting-me#1095008 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094992&title=still-fighting-me#1094992 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 8:44pm

hannibal wrote: Tonight I decided to shower her, DH wanted too but I said no I have too

Why?

Maybe if he starts doing it more often she will go easy on you.   They do it cause they feel more relaxed and able to give in to their tanties...(or so i have heard). Go easy on yourself... if you arent going out and she fights getting dressed - leave her.]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:44:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094992&title=still-fighting-me#1094992 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094984&title=still-fighting-me#1094984 Author: AzzaNZ
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 8:36pm

Doesn't it just drive you nuts?

We have similar here, DH works shifts so I am on my own a lot but DD will do absolutely anything for him. For me, its a battle.

The way I handle it depends on the day and mood. Some days I try negotiating, bribery, begging... other days I just manhandle her into her clothes/the bath/the car and thank my lucky stars that I can tune out the yelling.

Hope you find something that works!]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:36:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094984&title=still-fighting-me#1094984 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094914&title=still-fighting-me#1094914 Author: notenufchaos
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 7:51pm

sounds similar to my bolshy two year old what works for us (sometimes) is to give her a choice over some things, such as what to wear (choosing between two things) where to get dressed lounge or bedroom, to have shower in the morning or bath at night, etc... at around this age they start liking to be independant ]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 19:51:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094914&title=still-fighting-me#1094914 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094906&title=still-fighting-me#1094906 Author: hannibal
Subject: 34639
Posted: 11 July 2010 at 7:46pm

My 20 month old is still fighting me big time! Again to get her dressed 45-50 minutes this morning and I had to struggle with her again in the carseat. DH works 7 days so he can't help me. Tonight I decided to shower her, DH wanted too but I said no I have too, again getting her dressed a nightmare so he comes racing in like a knight in shiny armour and she flicks a switch and just lays there and gets dressed for him. Don't get me wrong I really appreciate his help but this behaviour just isn't funny after a month of it now - how much longer can this go on and does anyone have ideas on how I can keep her calm!]]> Sun, 11 Jul 2010 19:46:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34639&PID=1094906&title=still-fighting-me#1094906