OHbaby! Forums : DC when you don’t work..

DC when you don’t work.. : I'm a SAHM with their child...

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 17:09:50 +0000

Author: flakesitchyfeet
Subject: 33848
Posted: 10�June�2010 at 5:09pm

I'm a SAHM with their child in two mornings a week. Keeps me sane. That and her grandmother works there full time, she loves having her there! But, more importantly, I take time out for me, and they are my real housework mornings. Just cause DD is in care during that time doesn't mean I'm not working around the place either! It helps us keep a balanced life :)

Edited by Flake

DC when you don’t work.. : crafty1 - it's 20% LESS according...

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 15:02:21 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 10�June�2010 at 3:02pm

crafty1 - it's 20% LESS according to that research...

DC when you don’t work.. : it sounds like there is such a...

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:52:42 +0000

Author: crafty1
Subject: 33848
Posted: 10�June�2010 at 2:52pm

it sounds like there is such a huge variation in quality at diff places. Our local kindy kicks butt over the other options around here and is walkable. And the minimum hours for the walkable daycare is 3 full days which i'm not stoked about.

fattartsrock - sorry you thought i was being judgemental, it wasn't where i was coming from, tbh i'm just straight up. That was literally our day the other day and i know when i used to come home from work i did BA with my boy as i just didn't have the time or energy. So i'm genuinely amazed that working mums spend 20% more quality time with their kids. How do they do it!

DC when you don’t work.. : So it turns out our care is 1...

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:53:55 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 10�June�2010 at 11:53am

So it turns out our care is 1 to 7, not including the trainees, so thats awesome!
And they have a structure of play, and mat time so I guess thats good too
I wish she was 3 though! that 20 hours free better still be available when she is!!
We have no family either Tish so I have struggled long enough by myself - I so grateful for the time I get alone - even if it just to do housework

better go - she is sick and sooo grouchy

DC when you don’t work.. : Raspberryjam wrote: Kids learn...

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:26:24 +0000

Author: tishy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 10�June�2010 at 11:26am

Raspberryjam wrote:

Kids learn by play, I dont really give a rats if she is at kindy or daycare as long as she is happy

Oh I so agree with this.

Peanut wrote:

I think you will find its hard to compare them all just based on what they are called.

And with this.

I didn't grow up in NZ (and have no close family here) so I have no presumptions for pre schooling options. Therefore I will choose to do what suits me and my family.

DC when you don’t work.. : When investigating preschool options...

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 10:06:21 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 33848
Posted: 10�June�2010 at 10:06am

When investigating preschool options for daniel this is what I found:

Kindy - after spending an entire day there (my mum babysat, I did this when applying to do teaching) all the kids did was free play with a story on the mat and helped tidy up. It was seriously all I saw. There was no small group activities, kids just did as they pleased the whole time. That was for all the kids there, I saw the morning and afternoon session.

Daycare - it can be seasonal if you choose it to be, Daniels daycare asks if you want them to come during the school holidays or not. I spent a day at the daycare as well and they had lots of free play too but they also have a roster of what kids are going to help making morning/afternoon tea that day. For certain age groups they would take those kids aside and do special activities with them (of like 4 or 5 kids at a time), they would get all the kids together and do a story time on the mat and it wasn't just read a story, they had a magnetic board where the kids got involved in putting the right pictures up at the right time and they had dress ups as well for one of the stories. Then they had painting stations and playdough etc set up similar to what I saw at kindy.

Montessori - was like daycare but much more structured.

Daniel and quite a number of the kids in his daycare don't go to daycare because they need looking after, its for the education side. Because there are more teachers they have the opportunity to do more things. Each teacher at daycare can be supervising an activity as well as having the ones out that dont require supervision. It seemed heaps more entertaining than kindy that just seemed like free play galore.

I know I am opinionated on this and whether this is typical palmy or typical nz I don't know. Theres no way I'd send Daniel to kindy after seeing what he gets from daycare by comparison.

DC when you don’t work.. : fattartsrock wrote:Kindy does...

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 00:22:27 +0000

Author: Mama2two
Subject: 33848
Posted: 10�June�2010 at 12:22am

fattartsrock wrote:

Kindy does have to follow the curriculm/Te Wharariki, absolutely and I think you will find that most kindys not only have smaller ratios, but are staffed at 100% qualified teaching levels - meaning all teachers are fully qualified.

Sam has just started Kindy and we were lucky enough to get her into a lovely one run through a local church. It has a qualified teacher ratio of 1/5 plus there is usually a trainee and parent help as well.
I have never had her in care up until now, but have to say I think we are both enjoying the break - plus I am getting true one on one time with my wee boy which is also a big bonus
I did consider putting her into the local daycare for a couple of half day sessions a week (the waiting list at the Kindy is very, very long and we weren't sure if she would get in before she was 4!) but when it came down to it I just couldn't afford to pay the fees for the daycare who also stipulated a minimum of 3 half days per week!
I have to admit I am much happier with the $3 a session I am currently paying though.

I Kindy!

DC when you don’t work.. : Gosh I wasn't aware that...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 23:54:28 +0000

Author: Blankney94
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 11:54pm

Gosh I wasn't aware that some Mums do childcare this much, although I'm not surprised.

I felt guilty just putting my almost 1 yr old in homebased care one afternoon a week while I was still at home. But gosh it was great to have that time, even if it meant just having uninterrupted time to achieve some order around the house.

Three full days!

DC when you don’t work.. : Peanut wrote:My understanding...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:50:26 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:50pm

Peanut wrote:

My understanding is that kindys are allowed a ration of 1:15 whereas DC in the over 2's is 1:5.

I think you have to compare all DC, kindy, preschools in your area as they are def not all standardised. I would never put my child in Kindy purely because I don't like the kindy's around us. So even if I hadn't put my child in Dc before the age of 3 I would have put him in DC at 3 to do the school programme.

My son's DC has a ratio of 1:4, they do a wicked school programme, follow the national curriculum, are 100% registered and follow the Emilio Reggio philosophy that I like. Its up to the individual I guess.

I think you will find its hard to compare them all just based on what they are called.

Yep correct. I think all ECE's follow a philosophy that they like and what suits you might not suit me and so on.

Ours is 4 teachers to around 40 kids, but thats as many as we have (children) and more often than not there are parent helps too.

At the end of the day people choose their daycares/kindys/playcentres/preschools etc for what ever works best for their families.

DC when you don’t work.. : My understanding is that kindys...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:37:36 +0000

Author: Peanut
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:37pm

My understanding is that kindys are allowed a ratio of 1:15 whereas DC in the over 2's is 1:5.

I think you have to compare all DC, kindy, preschools in your area as they are def not all standardised. I would never put my child in Kindy purely because I don't like the kindy's around us. So even if I hadn't put my child in Dc before the age of 3 I would have put him in DC at 3 to do the school programme.

My son's DC has a ratio of 1:4, they do a wicked school programme, follow the national curriculum, are 100% registered and follow the Emilio Reggio philosophy that I like. Its up to the individual I guess.

I think you will find its hard to compare them all just based on what they are called.

Edited to add: My DC def doesn't feel like its run purely for money.

Edited by Peanut

DC when you don’t work.. : cool, it would be nice to know...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:05:58 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:05pm

cool, it would be nice to know that they cant have 4 teachers and 40 kids !!

DC when you don’t work.. : ok so mine is a kindergarten and...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:04:09 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:04pm

ok so mine is a kindergarten and 2 of the staff are in training - I think it depends where you go - I think ours is better than anything else I have seen cause its in the country and the kids have picnics in the paddocks away from the car fumes - at Millas age Im happy for her to just enjoy that aspect of it and play and learn even though she has a curriculm set for her

Kids learn by play, I dont really give a rats if she is at kindy or daycare as long as she is happy

DC when you don’t work.. : I'm on the board of ours...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:04:09 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:04pm

I'm on the board of ours (well, its called pre school but its run and funded like a kindy) so I will know more about all that after the next meeting, I guess.

DC when you don’t work.. : Raspberryjam wrote:I guess...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:02:50 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:02pm

Raspberryjam wrote:

I guess thats gonna change soon though

The ratio is legally dependant on age isnt it?

Im not sure, actually about the ratio and age,
I'm fairly sure most kindys won't change much, however it may go from being a cheap sessional rate ( ours is $3.65 a session) to a dearer hourly rate to cover what will be lost in funding. It stinks really, kindys are really speical places.

DC when you don’t work.. : Thanks fattartsrock I was wondering...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:01:29 +0000

Author: pikelets
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:01pm

Thanks fattartsrock I was wondering that.

So if they are 100% qualified they will have their funding cut soon but they are so much cheaper so i guess it wont make a huge difference (unless kindy is funded from a different area)

DC when you don’t work.. : I guess thats gonna change soon...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:57:53 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 8:57pm

I guess thats gonna change soon though

The ratio is legally dependant on age isnt it?

DC when you don’t work.. : Kindy does have to follow the...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:50:01 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 8:50pm

Kindy does have to follow the curriculm/Te Wharariki, absolutely and I think you will find that most kindys not only have smaller ratios, but are staffed at 100% qualified teaching levels - meaning all teachers are fully qualified.

DC when you don’t work.. : Bubba2 wrote:i guess the difference...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:45:48 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 8:45pm

Bubba2 wrote:

i guess the difference for me between kindy and day care is the reasons children are sent there IYGWIM. people send their children to daycare because they need someone else to look after their children for whatever reason, and they send their children to kindy for preparation to starting school. this is just my opinion and how i differentiate the two.
.

I choose to send Milla to daycare because she likes to play and learn and because in my mind to keep her home with slow down this process for her, so in a way its also for prep for school. I am a SAHM though, I did go back to work but it didnt work for my girl so I quit last year

The place she goes to starts at 6 months goes til 5
the 6 month to 2 year olds are kept seperate from the 2 til 5 years
The care if from 8.30 til 5.30 and we go to a 3 hour session 3 times a week, but you can have 6 hour sessions if you want, or full time care

SO is this daycare ? or kindy or what?? its says its a learning centre - and it has a programme for 4 year olds prepping for school

thanks crafty but I often think I must be a sook when I see other girls with twins or more than one and a belly at the supermarket

I think if the reason you are dropping your child at daycare or whatever you want to call it is so you can go home and sit on your a**e then good on you, and I think if you are attachment parenting and still breastfeeding your three year old with the intention of home schooling then good on you too, as long as you have your childs best interests at heart then thats all your child expects.
If anyone else expects anything they are sh*t out of luck because they arent the parent to your child

and yeah I couldnt have found 4 hours a day for my child when I was working full time, and I was too tired to care, but I will say being a SAHM has a whole bunch of different challenges and sometimes I would gladly put my heels back on and get paid for it!

DC when you don’t work.. : My son is in DC because I have...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:37:19 +0000

Author: pikelets
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 8:37pm

My son is in DC because I have to work to pay the bills. I would love to stay at home more. I try to make the most of the time I have with DS and ideally I would like to work less hours but alas I can't.

Its funny coz DH and I was just talking about the difference between kindy and daycare.

We had a bad daycare and moved to a good daycare. The first daycare was definately run as a money making business, hence, the quality of care wasn't there so we moved to another daycare. The new daycare are amazing, yes they are there to make money, yes they are expensive, but they are always trying to do the best for the kids and parents, and I fully trust them. DS loves it.

So I know kindy is shorter hours but I didn't realise the ratio would be different. I guess they have the same qualified amount of teachers and have some structure and the Te Wharariki/learning programme?

Edited to add: I don't judge other mums who can drop kids off to have a break, if it makes them able to have a mental break to be a better parent, good for them and their family.

Edited by pikelets

DC when you don’t work.. : fattartsrock wrote:So you don't...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:31:57 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 8:31pm

fattartsrock wrote:

So you don't think this sounds a bit judgemental and I am better than you, then? cos thats the way it comes across....

crafty1 wrote:

jeez those dc parents would have to be staying up pretty late to have more quality time than the SAHM's i know. We do heaps together even though we also have alone time. i wonder what quality time is? We went to playground and farm (1.5 hrs), made and ate lunch (30 mins), did some gardening (30mins), wrestled & played in tunnel (20mins), read some books (10 mins), playdough (20 mins) cooked dinner (10 mins). About to have bath and then his dad will have quality time with him when he gets home. That's about 4 hrs a day quality time from me alone. Plenty of time apart too while i do dull things like hang the washing or look at internet.

i recently had a second child and looked at putting my older boy into DC 2 mornings a week to keep us both sane, but in the end i just couldn't do it. And things are fine now, we all muddle along together most days and don't kill each other. Saying that though i would LOVE a day (or half day) to myself. They usually sleep at the same time so i get at least an hour most days and on the weekend i go off for an hour or so to do my own things.

I think different personality kids suit different things, those full on kids may need socialising and exhausting a bit more than others so maybe daycare suits them. My boy is quiet and i thought he'd get lost. It's only a short time out of their lives, next year he'll be at kindy part time and no doubt i'll miss him and love it in equal parts. I'm lucky to be able to stay home with him now so try and make the best of it even though i often want to throttle him haha.

I didn't find it judgemental. It would be pretty difficult for a working parent to fit all that stuff in around work and daycare.

Talking about socialisation I have a friend who has never even taken her kids to playgroup. She doesn't take them to anything where there are other kids and when they visit us her 2 invariably end up in tears coz they don't know how to play with Jake. She asked me what I thought and I said I thought that socialisation was important whether its coffee group, regular playdates, daycare or playgroups and she did her nut at me anyway thats abit of a sidebar lol sorry...

rorylex wrote:

i do not drop my older 2 off at daycare to just go home and do nothing, i use that time to spend time with my younger 2, so while my older 2 get to have some time with other kids their age and get use to spending time away from me.

so not every mums uses daycare as time off from parenting.

No that theres anything wrong with that. I regularly come home when Jakes at preschool, put my feet up and do nothing!! I'm proud to admit it too. I need time to myself, to look after myself and remember that I'm me as well as mummy, partner, chef, housekeeper, etc. I don't think taking that time for yourself is anything to be ashamed of. We aren't just parents and it doesn't make us bad mummys to be glad of the time to ourselves.

DC when you don’t work.. : So you don't think this sounds...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:12:01 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 8:12pm

So you don't think this sounds a bit judgemental and I am better than you, then? cos thats the way it comes across....

DC when you don’t work.. : kebakat wrote:I don't...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:10:31 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 8:10pm

kebakat wrote:

I don't get why so many people think kindy is soooo different to daycare and that its not really doing the same thing. Its a period of time during the day where your child is in a centre of some description with teachers looking after them. Daniels daycare has a introduction to school programme for the 4 year olds. The only real difference from daycare for older kids and kindy is the teacher staff ratios. He has free play, they do mat time and painting, play dough, activities in small and larger groups etc

Sorry to sound Rude, Stacey, but our preschool is quite different to daycare
And I think mainly the differences with kindys is the age thing and the sessional times. Here where I am they still run sessionally, so 8.30 - 12.20 and whatever the afternoon sessions are.

DC when you don’t work.. : i guess the difference for me...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 19:58:22 +0000

Author: notenufchaos
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 7:58pm

i guess the difference for me between kindy and day care is the reasons children are sent there IYGWIM. people send their children to daycare because they need someone else to look after their children for whatever reason, and they send their children to kindy for preparation to starting school. this is just my opinion and how i differentiate the two.

i certainly do not think i am a better parent for not sending my daughter to daycare it is just one of the many choices i will make for my child that is different to some and the same to others. its a personal choice thing and i do not judge people for sending their children to daycare.

DC when you don’t work.. : I personally think there are differences...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 19:52:36 +0000

Author: crafty1
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 7:52pm

I personally think there are differences between kindy and most daycare centres i have had experience with. Major philosophical differences and the difference around their purpose, The DC centre;'s purpose is to make money for the business which owns it. Kindy is not for profit. That has to fundamentally change the delivery of education.

I think from the age of 3 it is appropriate for kids to start some form of external preschool but earlier than that i'm not so sure of. Just my opinion though and i don't judge other mums for their choices. Hey we are all making our own decisions based on different circumstances, research and careful thought, that makes us all good mums even though we think different things.

raspberry jam - you deserve all the time off you can get judging by your tickers! Just going through the toddler and newborn thing and whew it can be tough.

DC when you don’t work.. : Peanut wrote: kebakat wrote:I...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 18:56:14 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 6:56pm

Peanut wrote:

So agree with this! There is no difference in DC and Kindy IMO.

agree, its all the same in my mind too, except for playcentre
We even referred to our porse care as daycare and home with Milla its all called kindy cause it sounds cute when she says it

I dont believe kids get the same socialisation from hanging out with their Mums at all, Im certainly not out having coffee with the girls most weeks let alone often enough for Milla to maintain a relationship with the kids she meets, but she has that at daycare and makes little friends and interacts differently to when I am there watching her
Im glad my child is in care, she loves it and so do I - I wish I could justify more 'time off' at the moment

DC when you don’t work.. : i didnt know there was a difference...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 17:50:21 +0000

Author: rorylex
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 5:50pm

i didnt know there was a difference between kindy and daycare, however i do know that the kindys here my son couldnt go to as he had problems which turned out to be autism. he was and still is in nappies going on 5yrs, he was in my care 24/7 and i thought that is what it was suppose to be until school especially since im not a working mother.
i actually do not see my self as a stay at home mum as that requires staying home. we are out and about with playcentre and plunket stuff 5days a week. i usually dont get home til the afternoon. i do not drop my older 2 off at daycare to just go home and do nothing, i use that time to spend time with my younger 2, so while my older 2 get to have some time with other kids their age and get use to spending time away from me. ds2 loved his current daycare the moment he got there so it cant be harming him in anyway.

i actually qualify for 30free hrs for all my kids including the baby becoz my oldest is autistic but choose not to use it, i personally prefer to have my kids in my care until they need more than i can give, i take them to playcentre but as alot of kids at playcentre move on to kindy at about 3 my 4yr old no longer has many kids his age there infact they are all a yr younger. so he goes to daycare, while i still go to playcentre with the others.

so not every mums uses daycare as time off from parenting. though i must admit with my oldest being autistic i dont think i could have copped the passed yr if he was with me 24/7. luckily his daycare have extended his time there til he starts school as there is 4-6wks between him turning 5 and starting school.

DC when you don’t work.. : kebakat wrote:I don't...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 11:37:02 +0000

Author: Peanut
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 11:37am

So agree with this! There is no difference in DC and Kindy IMO.

DC when you don’t work.. : I don't get why so many people...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 11:31:20 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 11:31am

I don't get why so many people think kindy is soooo different to daycare and that its not really doing the same thing. Its a period of time during the day where your child is in a centre of some description with teachers looking after them. Daniels daycare has a introduction to school programme for the 4 year olds. The only real difference from daycare for older kids and kindy is the teacher staff ratios. He has free play, they do mat time and painting, play dough, activities in small and larger groups etc

DC when you don’t work.. : Personally I don't think...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 10:50:28 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 10:50am

Personally I don't think yu get any medals for not sending your kids to any form of ECE, and I don't think it makes youa better parent either, nor do I think you can judge another without walking a mile in their shoes.
WE all do what is best for our families and ourselves.
I don't get why you would stick them in and them moan about the cost..
And I don't get why they would need to go all day every day if you are at home. I don't buy the socialisation thing either. Most kids get exposure to other kids via thing smums do with them. Neither of my kids have ever gone to a childcare centre. We have used Barnardoes home care and then the Pre School which is an actual pre school not a day care centre, its for kids over 3 and gets them ready for school, just like a kindy but a different name.

DC when you don’t work.. : yeah i dont consider kindy day...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 09:56:47 +0000

Author: notenufchaos
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:56am

yeah i dont consider kindy day care, more a slow introduction to school, i will be sending my DD to kindy when she is 3, unfortunately the kindy she will go to no longer does afternoon sessions due to parents wanting it to be more of a day care so she will go three mornings a week 9 - 12.30 then when four five mornings a week 8.30 to 12.30 although they can go from 8.30 to 2.30 five days a week from 3 but thats too much IMO

DC when you don’t work.. : Yeah Isla goes to daycare 18 hrs...

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 09:10:02 +0000

Author: Kellz
Subject: 33848
Posted: 09�June�2010 at 9:10am

Yeah Isla goes to daycare 18 hrs a week, and Im a SAHM, but shes 3 1/2 and would be going to a kindy if she was this age anyway. We just kept her on at her daycare where she was going one full day a week last year while I worked, rather than change her to a kindy since she was used to it and loves it.

DC when you don’t work.. : yeah i know crafty1 - i was just...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:32:07 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 9:32pm

yeah i know crafty1 - i was just replying to bubba2's question... some peopel consider kindy/DC/preschool any kind of care as the same thing though... mind you DC can go past three.

DC when you don’t work.. : bizzy - i think the DC thing only...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:26:47 +0000

Author: crafty1
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 9:26pm

bizzy - i think the DC thing only counts till they are 3 as then kindy starts. Kindy is totally different and like you say is prep for school. Then you're doing it for them and their best interests rather than your own. We signed my 2yo up recently and i had to drag him screaming out of there he loved it so much - roll on 3!

DC when you don’t work.. : my kids have never gone to DC...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:09:13 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 9:09pm

my kids have never gone to DC but are kindy kids. I havent sent them to kindy as a way of getting some me time but rather to get them prepared for school and being away from mum. they both started out going three afternoons a week and after they turned 4 they went five mornings a week, with lunch on two of those days. My oldest boy loves kindy and any chance he gets he wants to come in and play, even though he has been at school nearly 2 years. and so long as the kindy system hasnt changed drastically by the time eden is 3 then she will go to kindy too.

DC when you don’t work.. : bubba - i've never sent DS1...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 19:57:39 +0000

Author: crafty1
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 7:57pm

bubba - i've never sent DS1 or DS2 to daycare. That's my job! We go to play groups, music and see friends most days so socialisation is taken care of (and imo overrated).
My toddler also spends some days with a friend so also gets time without me. Best of all worlds!

DC when you don’t work.. : ok so a lot of reading i skipped...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 19:14:36 +0000

Author: notenufchaos
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 7:14pm

ok so a lot of reading i skipped a couple of pages are there any SAHM's out there who have not ever sent their child/children to daycare? im a SAHM to two dd's a two year old and a four month old, im lucky enough to be a SAHM we make some sacrifices, but i love it. DD has never been in daycare and at times i feel bad about that as people are constantly asking me when i am going to send her and that the socialization is great etc etc.......

DC when you don’t work.. : jeez those dc parents would have...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:53:37 +0000

Author: crafty1
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 5:53pm

jeez those dc parents would have to be staying up pretty late to have more quality time than the SAHM's i know. We do heaps together even though we also have alone time. i wonder what quality time is? We went to playground and farm (1.5 hrs), made and ate lunch (30 mins), did some gardening (30mins), wrestled & played in tunnel (20mins), read some books (10 mins), playdough (20 mins) cooked dinner (10 mins). About to have bath and then his dad will have quality time with him when he gets home. That's about 4 hrs a day quality time from me alone. Plenty of time apart too while i do dull things like hang the washing or look at internet.

i recently had a second child and looked at putting my older boy into DC 2 mornings a week to keep us both sane, but in the end i just couldn't do it. And things are fine now, we all muddle along together most days and don't kill each other. Saying that though i would LOVE a day (or half day) to myself. They usually sleep at the same time so i get at least an hour most days and on the weekend i go off for an hour or so to do my own things.

I think different personality kids suit different things, those full on kids may need socialising and exhausting a bit more than others so maybe daycare suits them. My boy is quiet and i thought he'd get lost. It's only a short time out of their lives, next year he'll be at kindy part time and no doubt i'll miss him and love it in equal parts. I'm lucky to be able to stay home with him now so try and make the best of it even though i often want to throttle him haha.

DC when you don’t work.. : ok, i agree to that last line...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:40:08 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 5:40pm

ok, i agree to that last line for sure, sorry exhausted, obviously not taking much in

DC when you don’t work.. : I said above in my post after...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:15:07 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 5:15pm

I said above in my post after Buzzi's that it of course depends on how they defined "quality time" (see above)... IMO quality time is time when you are engaged in a stimulating interaction with the child. I expect the definition was something along those lines, considering the point they were making is that SAHM may have more time with their children, but it's not always all quality time... I am not making a judgement of either SAHM or DC mums! and that is what I have been saying all along in this thread - what other families do regarding DC is totally their business and people do what works for them....

DC when you don’t work.. : she started care 2 weeks ago at...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:01:01 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 5:01pm

she started care 2 weeks ago at will go 9 hours a week - so Im still a SAHM

I actually still think it depends on what quality time is for you, and the family dynamic

Does quality time mean giving your child attention when they ask you a question when you have just walked in the door and have to cook dinner for 10, or does it mean 20 books a day, or does it mean my kids ok cause he is home with me even though Im on the booze in the back yard

DC when you don’t work.. : Raspberryjam wrote: My time...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:31:49 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 3:31pm

Raspberryjam wrote:

My time with my girl is so much nicer after daycare and I get huge cuddles when I go to pick her up .
She really appreciates me - instead of being bored - no matter how much fun stuff we do

that is the point, that even though parents whose children attend DC don't have the same quantity of time, they have nearly the same amount of quality time...

DC when you don’t work.. : Bizzy wrote: Katherine wrote: ...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:21:38 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 3:21pm

Bizzy wrote:

Katherine wrote:

freckle wrote:

Research has shown that the parents of DC kiddies spend 20% less quality time with their kids than SAHMs...

Freckle, I'd like to see this research -- can you point me to a link or give me a reference to look up?

i'm sure i heard it was the other way round.. i suppose too it depends on what you call quality time.

Exactly bizzy - Id take this with a grain of salt - every parent/child is different - dosent make either one preferable - it all depends on family dynamics

My time with my girl is so much nicer after daycare and I get huge cuddles when I go to pick her up .
She really appreciates me - instead of being bored - no matter how much fun stuff we do

DC when you don’t work.. : Katherine, I definitely dig out...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:50:13 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 1:50pm

Katherine, I definitely dig out the article next time I'm at uni... will prob be later this week...

Bizzy - the whole point of it (from memory) was that parents who work often make the most of the reduced amount of time they have with their kids and so the time they spend with their kids is a higher ratio of "quality time" than SAHMs... but like you say it is a lot about how you actually define "quality time"... as cleaning and everday activities can definitely present opportunities to spend quality time with kids if parents take advantage of these naturally occuring opportunities... It appears a lot of people try to do their household type activities when the kids are napping, at daycare, watching TV or at night, when IMO these activities can be just as stimulating for kids to work with you and "help" with daily chores... Of course they definitely grow out of that my 13 year groans at the thought of doing ANYTHING

DC when you don’t work.. : Katherine wrote: freckle...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:36:00 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 1:36pm

Katherine wrote:

freckle wrote:

Research has shown that the parents of DC kiddies spend 20% less quality time with their kids than SAHMs...

Freckle, I'd like to see this research -- can you point me to a link or give me a reference to look up?

i'm sure i heard it was the other way round.. i suppose too it depends on what you call quality time.

DC when you don’t work.. : That is with the WINZ subsidy...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:27:35 +0000

Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 1:27pm

That is with the WINZ subsidy the $32 a week. We dont' pay anything for Andrew as he only needs holiday care due to our owrking arrangements Nigel drops him off at school and I pick him up after school. The subisty is done on our income and 2 children.

DC when you don’t work.. : I kept Jake going 3 motnings a...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 11:10:58 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 11:10am

I kept Jake going 3 motnings a week when I had Charly becasue He is a real routine kid and I knew we would ride into trouble if I changed his routine in any way, and it worked well. When Jake turned 3 I put Charly in for a couple of mornings a week so I could dedicate a couple of hours a week writing and catching up on volunteer commitments. I also find it wasier to give the house a thourough cleanign without helpers, and I am a clean freak and tidy nut as well, so to have a clean house is important to me - although mess is no probs, we tidy that up every night. I digress.
At 4, Jake went into 5 mornings at preschool and two afternoons at barnardoes (I began working again then) and after his 20 free hours it was about $45 a week and Charlotte was the dearest at two longer days at about $50 with 2nd child subsidy, we paid fortnightly and it was around the $180 mark a fortnight.
Whe she turned 3, I made up her 20 free hours with a mix of pre school (runs like a kindy) and barnardoes as work is fairly flexi and I still have a day with her all on her own for us to do stuff,So she costs us nothing, Jakes 20 free ours covered his barnardos and the shortfall was $120 a term at pre school ($3.65 a session)
Now hes at school, we pay nothing!

DC when you don’t work.. : freckle wrote:Research has...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 11:05:10 +0000

Author: Katherine
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 11:05am

freckle wrote:

Research has shown that the parents of DC kiddies spend 20% less quality time with their kids than SAHMs...

Freckle, I'd like to see this research -- can you point me to a link or give me a reference to look up?

DC when you don’t work.. : Wow - $32 for fulltime!!! feeling...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 10:58:37 +0000

Author: Nikki
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 10:58am

Wow - $32 for fulltime!!! feeling rather ripped off paying almost 300 for 3 days!!! (thats for 2 kids, but still!)

DC when you don’t work.. : TaliP wrote: Bizzy wrote:also...

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 09:51:51 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 33848
Posted: 08�June�2010 at 9:51am

TaliP wrote:

Bizzy wrote:

also it isnt necessary to always be actively teaching our children and making everything an educational experience. they learn from watching us and helping us and doing things with us. They learn to socialise by seeing us socialising and going out and doing things. I think we are doing our kids a big dis service by not letting them see and experience life with parents.

I agree with this as well...and also...if kids are ALWAYS having to be stimulated by others, does that mean they end up being needy kids who can't play games on their own.
I just wonder this coz kids these days always seem to be 'bored' and I just think ffs, go and use your imagination, imagine wasting away play time with being 'bored'. Stupid kids lol...don't they know they have the good times now!
Being able to play on your own is a really good quality!!!

I think if kids get regular quality attention from their parents then they're usually good to play on their own. It has abit to do with personality too.
I personally don't think that kids are better off these days. People are so much busier, theres so much more to try fit in, theres lazy element to society these days, theres waaaay to much technology IMO and of course the obvious food issues, the root of much behavioural & emotional problems. Gone are the days of simple, healthy food, all day outdoor play, an available parent 24/7 in many cases (not automatically a negative just a fact of current society and its not just parents working - I'm currently 'unavailable' to my kids coz I'm concentrating on OB ) and toys that demand imagination and creativity. Anyway thats just a thought I was having

DC when you don’t work.. : Money, I pay $32 for fulltime...

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 16:46:52 +0000

Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 33848
Posted: 07�June�2010 at 4:46pm

Money, I pay $32 for fulltime (50 hours). That is with 20 free hours and the WINZ subsidy.

DC when you don’t work.. : .Mel wrote: kebakat wrote:$48...

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:20:50 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 33848
Posted: 07�June�2010 at 7:20am

.Mel wrote:

kebakat wrote:

$48 for 9hrs

Have you checked to see if you are entitled to the 9hrs free thru Winz? Do they still have that?

Didnt know it existed! but if its winz related i doubt we would have. But hes 3 in a few days anyway so will get 20h free at last

DC when you don’t work.. : I paid $130 for 2 days for Jake...

Sun, 06 Jun 2010 21:49:20 +0000

Author: Nikki
Subject: 33848
Posted: 06�June�2010 at 9:49pm

I paid $130 for 2 days for Jake (had lots of reasons for keeping him in when I had Morgan but not going to bother justifying it), and now that i'm back working part time and hes almost 3, it will be about $105 for 3 days (plus $198 for Morgans 3 days, less 10% 2nd child discount).

DC when you don’t work.. : .Mel wrote: kebakat wrote:$48...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 22:16:03 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 10:16pm

.Mel wrote:

kebakat wrote:

$48 for 9hrs

Have you checked to see if you are entitled to the 9hrs free thru Winz? Do they still have that?

I checked this out recently and its 9 hours subsidised dependant on income level unless you are on assistance from WINZ - you can assess it yourself also to see if your in the ball park for it on their website

DC when you don’t work.. : kebakat wrote:$48 for 9hrs Have...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 20:40:41 +0000

Author: .Mel
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 8:40pm

kebakat wrote:

$48 for 9hrs

Have you checked to see if you are entitled to the 9hrs free thru Winz? Do they still have that?

DC when you don’t work.. : I know for me the guilt I experience...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 19:00:53 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 7:00pm

I know for me the guilt I experience being a parent is huge! I always wonder if Ive done the right thing, feel guilty when I'm not with the kids or do this or that... I think saying some parents who use DC for a break are lazy is rather judgemental and will only serve to feed the guilt many parents already feel... I also think unless your with someone all the time, how would you know they just laze around... I just think don't see how it is anyones business but theirs and if anyone feels the need to have their kids in DC for any amount of time they have their reasons...

Edited by freckle

DC when you don’t work.. : re money I pay 40.70 for 12 hours....

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 18:36:37 +0000

Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 6:36pm

re money I pay 40.70 for 12 hours.

DC when you don’t work.. : Peanut wrote:I think thats...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 18:36:16 +0000

Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 6:36pm

Peanut wrote:

I think thats kinda me!

DS1 goes 2 days a week and DS2 goes 1 day a week. I work a half day so have one whole afternoon to just me. I must say its bliss.

I kept DS1 in fulltime from the time I left work on Mat leave (30 weeks) until #2 was 6 weeks old and I highly recommend it to anyone that can afford it. It was awesome getting to bond with my baby.

I kept #1 in for 2 days a week because prior to that he had been full time and I really believe he would have missed it had I pulled him out of DC altogether.

I don't plan on returning to work at this stage but have both kids booked in for 2 days next year and will see what happens.

Each to their own I guess. We can afford it and I don't complain about money etc so I think that makes it ok

this is me too.... i personally think each to their own.. for us Ethan has been in two mornings since he was one...for him and me to have a break and he loves it.. I was pregnant for most of it so it was great and since Liam has come along he has changed to a place that does 9-3 so he sleeps there and i get him after sleep ..its brilliant to spend time with just Liam.. an dwhen Liam is one he will be going..though I dont really want him going 9-3 two days which is minimum so will see what happens then.. when they are both in at least one of those days will be working though....

i can see both sides of it(sorry havent read whole thread) i can see why you would be mad when people complain about having no money but then I dont think it's lazy to want to have a break either and with my PND and the pregnancy it really was essential for me:)

DC when you don’t work.. : I guess some people just dont...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 17:51:19 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 5:51pm

I guess some people just dont know how good they have Emz and some cant be helped either
Sounds a good place for her children to be if she cant be bothered with them
Just a shame you have to listen to it - I dont think Id have the patience

DC when you don’t work.. : also it isnt necessary to always...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 16:16:10 +0000

Author: Nutella
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 4:16pm

[QUOTE=Bizzy]also it isnt necessary to always be actively teaching our children and making everything an educational experience. they learn from watching us and helping us and doing things with us. They learn to socialise by seeing us socialising and going out and doing things. I think we are doing our kids a big dis service by not letting them see and experience life with parents.
[QUOTE]
I agree with this as well...and also...if kids are ALWAYS having to be stimulated by others, does that mean they end up being needy kids who can't play games on their own.
I just wonder this coz kids these days always seem to be 'bored' and I just think ffs, go and use your imagination, imagine wasting away play time with being 'bored'. Stupid kids lol...don't they know they have the good times now!
Being able to play on your own is a really good quality!!!

Edited by TaliP

DC when you don’t work.. : Like I said previously, it is...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 15:58:46 +0000

Author: emz
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 3:58pm

Like I said previously, it is more that they complain about having no money, then send the daughter to DC 2, will be 3 days a week because, in the mother's own words 'she's too full on to deal with full time'. Now I've known her daughter since she was born and she's not full on at all, she gets bored because the mother honestly sits on her butt all day.

So maybe this is more about - god I'm so sick of lazy parents who use any excuse under the sun to not be parents, but not work either, and then complain about their financial situations and children's behaviour

(not pointed at anyone - more thinking about the woman in question - and yes I've told her how lucky she should be and if money was that tight then maybe they could look at their financial situation - they pi$$ away a lot of her hubbys low income as it is.)

DC when you don’t work.. : Being blunt, who really cares...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 14:48:42 +0000

Author: Febgirl
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 2:48pm

Being blunt, who really cares what other people think of whether you use daycare or not? Those who are SAHMs and use childcare, please don't let anonymous women on an internet forum make you feel like you have to justify your child care choices, whatever they may be.

I can see why the OP was peeved though, people complaining about situations when they have made conscious choices and decisions to be in that sitation is annoying.

DC when you don’t work.. : We're under family start...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:52:37 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 1:52pm

We're under family start so we get 20 hours free til Jake hits 3 from them then it changes to the government 20 free hours.

DC when you don’t work.. : I rang a ABC one last week as...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:49:18 +0000

Author: jazzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 1:49pm

I rang a ABC one last week as I was looking at getting a part time job & it was $90 for 3 days & that included the 20hrs free.

DS3 goes to afternoon kindy 3 x a week & it is $5 a week

DC when you don’t work.. : ours is about $225 for just on...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:41:44 +0000

Author: blondy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 12:41pm

ours is about $225 for just on 40 hours a week atm, but at only $6 an hour I actually feel a bit criminal!

I did want to add too that as someone with no family around, I have no backup (except for DH ) or any time out except when she is in care, so having a carer that is like a second mummy to DD is such a gift for us.

DC when you don’t work.. : I pay $121 a week - four full...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:38:59 +0000

Author: lizzle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 12:38pm

I pay $121 a week - four full days, no subsidy but that is with 20 "free" hours. ( I work full time though)

DC when you don’t work.. : $48 for 9hrs

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:29:13 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 12:29pm

$48 for 9hrs

DC when you don’t work.. : I pay $60 for 9 hours

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:27:26 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 12:27pm

I pay $60 for 9 hours

DC when you don’t work.. : TheKelly wrote:How much IS...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:26:12 +0000

Author: Peanut
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 12:26pm

TheKelly wrote:

How much IS daycare on average anyway ?

and stuff the kids being in there , I wonder if they would take me ? it looks like fun

You sound like my DH? He wants to go to DC as he thinks it looks more fun than work.

I pay $70 a week for for 3 full days including lunch but I do get $60 subsidised.

DC when you don’t work.. : Bizzy wrote:mind you i think...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 11:34:45 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 11:34am

Bizzy wrote:

mind you i think that some kids are better off in DC than with their parents!

also it isnt necessary to always be actively teaching our children and making everything an educational experience. they learn from watching us and helping us and doing things with us. They learn to socialise by seeing us socialising and going out and doing things. I think we are doing our kids a big dis service by not letting them see and experience life with parents.

Once again though thats just my opinion...

I agree with that too, kids do learn by play and observation- but Milla was so bored with hanging out with me all the time and since she started care I get way more cuddles and our time together is much nicer. And why we are on a farm and she gets to explore and kick about - its good she gets to play on the slide etc
I am quite lucky to have a really confident friendly child though - some kids are more sensitive and shy so if that were the case for me i may have done things differently

To the OP - maybe you should tell your friend how you feel - it dosent have to be a lecture - just something like - hey you know you havent got it that bad - you get this much time to yourself and this much support from your partner

DC when you don’t work.. : mind you i think that some kids...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 10:58:26 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 10:58am

mind you i think that some kids are better off in DC than with their parents!

also it isnt necessary to always be actively teaching our children and making everything an educational experience. they learn from watching us and helping us and doing things with us. They learn to socialise by seeing us socialising and going out and doing things. I think we are doing our kids a big dis service by not letting them see and experience life with parents.

Once again though thats just my opinion...

DC when you don’t work.. : JessDub wrote:We don't...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 10:51:20 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 10:51am

JessDub wrote:

We don't qualify for WFF or any free childcare hours but I'm determined to squeeze some money for some DC sessions when DS is two. And yep, I'm sure I'll probably whinge about cash then... but I won't do it here. lol.

lol - we are in the same boat - but will get a little when number 2 arrives - its just enough to pay for daycare - yay!!
Maybe you should think about number 2 Jessdub

DC when you don’t work.. : Man, I would love to be able to...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 09:30:57 +0000

Author: JessDub
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 9:30am

Man, I would love to be able to afford to put DS in daycare for a half day or two a week. He's at an age where he'd get a lot out of it, he is so curious and active.

As I have very little me-time, I'd adore a couple of hours to do whatever. DS hates shopping (except groceries) and plays up, so I have to squeeze in any shopping (birthday presents, that kind of thing) in the weekend.

And while DH is a great hands-on dad, the weekends are so not 'time off'. There are still meals to prepare, laundry to do etc. In the weekends, DS is so excited to see his dad that he is reluctant to nap and ends up being grizzly and tired. I actually enjoy the relative calm of a Monday.

We don't qualify for WFF or any free childcare hours but I'm determined to squeeze some money for some DC sessions when DS is two. And yep, I'm sure I'll probably whinge about cash then... but I won't do it here. lol.

DC when you don’t work.. : My daughter has just started Daycare...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 08:26:03 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 8:26am

My daughter has just started Daycare - 3 hours three times a week which may increase once she has been there for a while
I have no family to 'give me a break' and yes I deserve Me time too - most of the time I am doing housework while she is away which is hardly sitting on my butt
Having time away from her makes me a better Mum, a better wife and generally a bit more relaxed - I love having silence in the house when she is away
The other thing is - Im not a trained childcare teacher - while I can do some things towards her developement - I cant do what a teacher does or give her the socialisation she will need to go through life
I dont actually think you can poo poo someone for making decisions about their children - they arent your kids - I have seen loads of things on here and have thought - are you mad - but who the hell I am to say your doing it wrong

Edited by Raspberryjam

DC when you don’t work.. : With the socialisation thing.. As...

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 08:18:58 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 33848
Posted: 05�June�2010 at 8:18am

With the socialisation thing..

As a kid especially in those early years of school I found it very very difficult to make new friends or talk to kids I did not know.

My mum was a SAHM and me and my bro stayed with her. We played lots with our cousins of similar ages but it was a small town and didn't really interact with other kids outside the family.

I don't want Daniel to be like this cause if he were home with me all the time he would have a similar experience to what I did, which I'm not saying is bad I would just like him to have interaction with more kids so he hopefully doesn't have an issue making friends and being around new people like I did.

He goes to daycare and comes home and talks about his teachers and how he was playing with tarquin, david, eden, olen, toby and di. I love that he has little friends and when new kids arrive he seems to add to his little list of people.

Kindy and daycare maybe different but so is alternative pre schools like montessori. Out of kindy and daycare I'd prefer to have him in daycare even though it costs us.

DC when you don’t work.. : haha kelly I reckon!! I wanna...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 22:29:17 +0000

Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 10:29pm

haha kelly I reckon!! I wanna paint and play with dough n stuff

DC when you don’t work.. : TaliP wrote: Babe wrote: For...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:58:34 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:58pm

TaliP wrote:

Babe wrote:

For whoever said that SAHP's should be happy with their weekends like any other working person - hmmm nice for you if you get a weekend but parenting in our house isn't any less of an effort just coz its a saturday/sunday! Our housework doesn't take a break either!!

Yip agree with this! Esp if the working parent is working long hours and aren't a lot of help in the weekends....when do SAHMs get their time out? fair enough if they want to put kiddies in DC for a bit.

I soooo agree, my DF is a dairy farmer and works 60+ hours, usually starting at 4.30 and finishing after 6ish... 11 days on 3 off... his 3 off he needs to catch up on sleep!! so no weekend breaks around here... but DD2 is in DC 2 days a week, in which time I'm at uni...

DC when you don’t work.. : Babe wrote: For whoever said...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:54:32 +0000

Author: Nutella
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:54pm

DC when you don’t work.. : Jake started daycare at 18 months....

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:26:21 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:26pm

Jake started daycare at 18 months. Hes been in for an assortment of hours over the last year but no more than 2 full days and the full days was only coz daycare is a 40 minutes round trip from where we live. I would've preferred him to be in half days but it wasn't a sensible option for us considering the travel. We chose to do 2 days coz daycare said most kids find it easier to settle and be comfortable and we did notice Jake was more relaxed.
He was originally enrolled coz of my severe PND and also coz I feel its important to be able to leave him in a situation and have him settle in without needing me there (like someone else said). He stayed in there once I got pregnant coz it made sense for me to have a break.
Hes now old enough for the local preschool which he goes to one session a week, more if other kids are away. Preschool sessions are 8.45 - 12.45 M-F and as the days come available he'll be in 4 mornings a week.
I think the DC choice has alot to do with personalities. Jake is a total social-bunny and asks to go to 'shkool' to 'play with friends' while I need pretty regular alone time.

I love being a SAHM but I also work my butt off, not just parenting but making pretty everything we use from scratch, making a welcoming home for everybody and making sure everything in general runs smoothly. For whoever said that SAHP's should be happy with their weekends like any other working person - hmmm nice for you if you get a weekend but parenting in our house isn't any less of an effort just coz its a saturday/sunday! Our housework doesn't take a break either!!

As far as the OP is concerned I agree - people who make decisions then constantly complain to anybody who will listen about the consequences of those decision drive me nuts!!! Stacey, having the odd whinge about a tight money situation doesn't count

DC when you don’t work.. : How much IS daycare on average...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:20:59 +0000

Author: TheKelly
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:20pm

How much IS daycare on average anyway ?

and stuff the kids being in there , I wonder if they would take me ? it looks like fun

DC when you don’t work.. : I need to get my IUD out... DH...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:45:22 +0000

Author: kiwikid
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 8:45pm

I need to get my IUD out... DH leaves the house at 7am and gets home at 7pm... I have no family here... all my friends are out of town or work... I literally have no one I can leave DS with so I can get the Dr to look at my lady bits... there are just some things a toddler cannot be involved in LOL... I see the benefit of having a few predictable hours so you can get certain things done

DC when you don’t work.. : I haven't had a chance to...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:43:39 +0000

Author: KiwiL
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 8:43pm

I haven't had a chance to read the posts, but I will go back and read them. As someone who is considering my options for JJ when number two arrives, I thought I would share my take on things.

Jackson will go to Day Care for two days a week when #2 arrives, and I am hoping that we can afford to make it three days a week. There are a number of reasons for this:

1) I consider day care made a huge (I would go as far as to say life changing) difference for Jackson's feeding. He didn't eat solids at all until he went to care at 1 year old, and the social eating side of things after his feeding problems have been enormously helpful. He still eats much, much better surrounded by other kids. I am nervous about having him at home full-time and what might happen to his eating and weight. I am hoping another few months of good habits will see us through.

2) Day care is an outlet for JJ's energy. JJ is amped all of the time, and stands out from other kids (incl. boys) his age in terms of his drive. He never walks, only runs. When he's home a lot he literally almost climbs the walls. Part of this energy comes from being really intelligent (well, I think, anyway) and his vocab has exploded since going to day care as well. How will he do being at home with me and a small baby for a good portion of the day, every day?

3) Jackson loves day care. He adores his carers and I love that we've found such a good 'second home' for him as I have to work full time. I definately don't want to lose our 'place' for him and keeping him there will help with that. When I am with Jackson I spend a lot of time educating him, playing with him, developing him and loving him. I don't see day care as a replacement for our role, but given our circumstances I see it as a very, very good option for us.

4) Lastly, and probably most importantly, I will have JJ in care partly to protect my own sanity! His feeding issues took a real toll on me.... I hid it well but I was very, very depressed a lot of the time. I struggled to cope and hated myself. I am hoping things will be easier this time round, but want to use day care as a way to help make it easier, because I don't really trust myself.

Having JJ in care will be a big hit to our finances, and definately things will be tight. I hate to think that people will judge me for this choice, or assume that I am a lazy or selfish parent. I don't feel great about it, in fact I feel very guilty with how I coped first time round, and how scared I am because of that this time. I rate myself as a good mum, and always thought I would be a natural, so when everything went wrong I was thrown. I would say it has destroyed a lot of my confidence in all areas of my life. I just hope people understand why we are doing this.

Edited to add: I am surprised reading back through the post by some people's absolute dismissal of people's reasons for utilising day care. Please don't lump us all in the "lazy or selfish or disengaged" parents pile.

Edited by kiwilaurie

DC when you don’t work.. : I feel it's none of my business...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:07:45 +0000

Author: tictacjunkie
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 8:07pm

I feel it's none of my business who does what with their children, BUT what annoys me is a "friend" I have who has all 3 of her kids (aged 4, 2 & 7mths) in DC for at least 3 days a week each, she doesn't work, her husband only works part-time, & she whines to ME (sahm of 4, soon to be 5, DH works 50-90hrs a week, often at another end of the country for weeks at a time) that SHE has "no time to herself" or money. Does she think I will feel sorry for her?!!

DC when you don’t work.. : Bizzy - I totally agree that kindy...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:00:34 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 8:00pm

Bizzy - I totally agree that kindy is or was at least quite different to DC, and I think kindy is great for kids. I also think the socialisation rationale is a bit of crock in many cases... but there are cases where DC does provide kiddies with those early skills. I do however, get why people would want some time-out and use DC for this... not all people get time off in the weekend as LF suggested, not all people have the ability to stimulate their children all the time, and not all people want to. Research has shown that the parents of DC kiddies spend 20% less quality time with their kids than SAHMs... which doesn't seem much less to me considering they were talking full time DC kids. If your gonna be a more engaged parent by having timeout I'm all for it!

DC when you don’t work.. : caliandjack wrote:I too don't...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:15:52 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 7:15pm

caliandjack wrote:

I too don't think DC is any difference to Kindy its a type of ECE same as any other. Something all kids can benefit from.

i disagree with this statement completely.
Or i suppose i should say that before the kindy structure started changing i did.

i dont get it at all. I dont get people who whinge they have no money for themselves but put their kids in DC while they do nothing. I dont get SAHP who put their kids in DC for "socialisation" while they stay at home and do nothing or go out socialising with their friends, in fact i dont understand DC at all for SAHP. Thats just me though!

DC when you don’t work.. : i am on the fence, i chose to...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 18:17:59 +0000

Author: rorylex
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 6:17pm

i am on the fence, i chose to send my oldest to daycare when he was 3.5yrs after being approched by the daycare themselves at that point i also had a 2.5yr old and a 6mth old, ds1 was not toilet trained so kindy was not an option. at the same time i started playcentre with ds2 and 3. ds2 started daycare when he turned 3 but after 1 term decided it was too early and 6mths later has just started again and loves it but i still take them all to playcentre, i now have ds3 and 4 with me 24/7 which is why i have the older 2 in daycare as an alternative to kindy. i find it a little odd when parents put their kids in daycare b4 they are even 1yrs just so they can have a break.

DC when you don’t work.. : Yeah I can understand where the...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:36:42 +0000

Author: kiwigal
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 3:36pm

Yeah I can understand where the OP is coming from there are some women out there that just want to have fun with their friends then they complain because they have got no money for other things. I couldn't do this as the whole idea of being a SAHM is look after your own kids during the day and take them to playgroup/kindy so they get that socialising. In situations where you have got a special needs child that needs that interaction then I can fully understand as to why they need to be in daycare. DS1 is autistic he went to daycare part-time from 21 months until he started school. It was a lot of money going out every week when and had a couple of part-time jobs to help to pay for it but in the end his well being was more important than money.

DD is 21 months and looking at sending her to kindy where some of them start at 2 instead of doing half days like how some of the kindys do she will be going to one that operates during school hours for at least 1 or 2 days of week and get to spend time with her on the other days she is at home.

DC when you don’t work.. : I also think the 20 free hrs &...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 14:26:25 +0000

Author: jazzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 2:26pm

I also think the 20 free hrs & WFF has a lot to do with it.

When I has DS1 we did not get WFF & paid parental leave & 20hrs free so being on 1 wage was tough & I was lucky enough to be able to go back to my job part time in the weekends but not enough to justify staying home with no child & paying for them to go in to care.

Also if on the benefit you get so many hrs to free.

DC when you don’t work.. : I am lucky enough to be a SAHM....

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 14:11:12 +0000

Author: jazzy
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 2:11pm

I am lucky enough to be a SAHM. Once your kids no longer have naps things do get harded & finding "me time" can be nearly imposibable.

I love staying home with my kids & I love it when they go to kindy. This is the first yr that I have some free time where I have no kids.

When my youngest starts morning kindy that will be my time, not house work & stuff but it will be for me to do what I want, for years I put my kids first & soon it will be time for me.

I chose not to put my kids in DC when not working not just because of the money thing but I wanted to spend the first yrs with them & I have been lucky enough to do this.

But I would of used a DC if I felt the need, so totally understand why some do & it can be a long wait before kindy.

So each to their own.

DC when you don’t work.. : I did want to echo what someone...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 13:27:08 +0000

Author: fire_engine
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 1:27pm

I did want to echo what someone said (sorry, couldn't find it to quote) about changes in attitudes and that kids are missing out if they're at home all the time. I do think there is more pressure to "socialise" your children etc (and yes, I did quote that as one justification for keeping Dan in DC) but I don't think that DC is necessary for a child to develop normally, and I would hate for people to think that they *should* put their child in DC just for their development.

I also ditto what Tishy said about the weekends not being a break for the working or SAHP.

And I also think that, as parents, we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. Welcome to the rest of our lives!

DC when you don’t work.. : We're all different, if some...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:59:33 +0000

Author: freckle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 12:59pm

We're all different, if some SAHMs feel they need timeout for whatever reason and put their kids into DC that doesn't worry me at all... They're paying, it's their kids, and their financial situation... and really if someone feels they NEED the break then it probably helps them be better parents when they are with their kids.... I don't think it's anyones place to say they should be working, as long as they as a family are able to support themselves then IMO it's their business...

DC when you don’t work.. : I don't see what the problem...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:48:55 +0000

Author: .Mel
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 12:48pm

I don't see what the problem is.. if they want to pay to have their child in DC then it's their business, and those SAHM's that do put their kids into DC, shouldn't feel they need to apologise or justify themselves to anyone.

I'd love nothing more for #3 to have the chance to go to DC up here, but unfortunately the waiting lists dictate otherwise.

DC when you don’t work.. : I complain about our money situation...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:36:12 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 12:36pm

I complain about our money situation sometimes. Yes daycare costs but I don't think I have to just hold back about feeling bad about having no money sometimes just because I'm a SAHM. I don't complain all the time but I do complain sometimes when there is something I use to have reguarly but don't get anymore (getting my hair dyed prof for example).

DC when you don’t work.. : kebakat wrote:Woohoo apparently...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:22:35 +0000

Author: WRXnKids
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 12:22pm

kebakat wrote:

Woohoo apparently I'm a lazy parent..

Daniel is in daycare for 3 3hr sessions and I don't work. Once hes 3 his enrolled hours is increasing as their minimum hours increase and quite franky if someone told me i"m lazy cause I send my child to daycare they would get their head bitten off. I see it as no different to kindy and also no ones business to label me with that kinda crap cause I choose to do something different to them.

We chose to put Daniel in daycare for several reasons:
1. my own sanity, I need time away from him, that makes our time when hes home so much more enjoyable because I get some me time.

2. he doesn't become one of these kids that doesn't like being without his parents. i have a friend who had one of these and it was impossible for her to do anything without her child as they would be horrible for whoever had to look after them

3. socialisation. yes there are other things you can do with kids but frankly coffee groups etc bore the crap out of me

4. it means i dont have to do housework while daniel is here therefore his time when hes home isnt taken up by those household chores and hey i get all my household stuff done in probably 1/3 of the time it would take me when daniel is around

me too josh is in 2 almost full days for the above reasons as well as i dont handle pregnancy well so it makes this pregnancy a little easier on me and it will give me 1 on 1 time with the new baby. I also wanted him to adjust to the daycare before she arrives so put him in earlier.

Yes it makes money tight but josh will be 3 beginning of next year and it will be free once she is a little older ill put her in so many hours as well when josh isnt so i can have time with just him. Josh enjoys daycare once im gone and i think its a good experience for him i dont want him to think he needs mum around 24/7

DC when you don’t work.. : I consider myself very fortunate...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:22:31 +0000

Author: kiwisj
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 12:22pm

I consider myself very fortunate to be home with Callum for these early years and have just done my last supply teaching job (last week! Yusss!) and don't plan on doing ANY more while we live here. However, I'm already looking into a nursery for Callum, possibly for the beginning of next year, mostly because all his friends are going to start and who will we socialise with then?! The thing I find most irritating here is that it's almost impossible to find a daycare that will do less than 5 mornings/week without charging you for the mornings you're not there And it's not like it's cheap (and no such thing as free hours at any age either!).

Anyhoo regardless of what I'm doing - and I'm really not bothered whether people think I'm lazy for it - it annoys me too when people moan about any situation without doing something to change it!!! Only YOU can be responsible for your happiness and your life.

DC when you don’t work.. : Yeah I wasn't talking about...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 11:16:59 +0000

Author: emz
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 11:16am

Yeah I wasn't talking about people who have their kids in there and feel fine about it, it's those that complain and like Caliandjack said, do nothing about it, that irks me.

I personally think a bit of time to yourself, if you can afford it, is great. I've never had it except at weekends as kids have only been in DC for work purposes, but if we had the money, I'd be more than happy to have them there for a few hours so I can do gardening or watch a movie lol.

DC when you don’t work.. : I thought the OP was about mum's...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:59:42 +0000

Author: caliandjack
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:59am

I thought the OP was about mum's who put their kids into DC and stay at home then complain about not having any money or enough time.

I've never heard you complain about either of those things Stacey.

I too don't think DC is any difference to Kindy its a type of ECE same as any other. Something all kids can benefit from.

I do have friends who had their children in care from 3 months of age, cause they had to go back to work - the loss of their income would have been too significant and giving up a full time salary to be on the DPB doesn't make sense.

DC when you don’t work.. : i think there is a big difference...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:51:09 +0000

Author: lizzle
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:51am

i think there is a big difference between SAHMs who put their kids in full time care, and those that have them in for part time hours. And I think OP mentioned that too.

I had Jake in daycare for one day a week while I was preggers with taine - once we came back from japan, and we both loved it. and I see your situation Stacey as similar. If you had Daniel in full time despite not working or studying (and assuming you weren't pregannt) then I would think differnlty, but your situation i think is not what OP is talking about.

I also find it strange ideas about planning for kids, but also planning for them to be in full time daycare from 3 months. it kinda seems to defeat the purpose of kids. the planning is what gets me i think...jake was in daycare from 3 months, however, we were not planning on a baby and couldn't get away with not working due to visa purposes.

DC when you don’t work.. : The reason why I have both my...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:49:52 +0000

Author: Peanut
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:49am

The reason why I have both my children in for a full day when I only work half of that is so that I can do stuff like get my haircut, nails done, appts etc. I don't see the value for my child to come to those sorts of things with me. I also don't want to ask people to look after my child (for free) for these things as I believe its not a "need". I tend to only use my "free" babysitting for vital type situations.

My #1 helps with cooking, cleaning, baking, shopping etc so is still getting those "learning" experiences.

I agree with those that said about the weekends but in the real world both parents are "working" all week. My DH gets his me time by playing rugby so gets all saturday afternoon and night for himself.

DC when you don’t work.. : Woohoo apparently I'm a lazy...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:42:44 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:42am

Woohoo apparently I'm a lazy parent..

Daniel is in daycare for 3 3hr sessions and I don't work. Once hes 3 his enrolled hours is increasing as their minimum hours increase and quite franky if someone told me i"m lazy cause I send my child to daycare they would get their head bitten off. I see it as no different to kindy and also no ones business to label me with that kinda crap cause I choose to do something different to them.

We chose to put Daniel in daycare for several reasons:
1. my own sanity, I need time away from him, that makes our time when hes home so much more enjoyable because I get some me time.

2. he doesn't become one of these kids that doesn't like being without his parents. i have a friend who had one of these and it was impossible for her to do anything without her child as they would be horrible for whoever had to look after them

3. socialisation. yes there are other things you can do with kids but frankly coffee groups etc bore the crap out of me

4. it means i dont have to do housework while daniel is here therefore his time when hes home isnt taken up by those household chores and hey i get all my household stuff done in probably 1/3 of the time it would take me when daniel is around

DC when you don’t work.. : Ha ha - there are a lot things...

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:15:51 +0000

Author: caliandjack
Subject: 33848
Posted: 04�June�2010 at 9:15am

Ha ha - there are a lot things women say that they will / won't do before having babies, I'm probably one of them - but now that babies are on the way - I'll no doubt end up eating my words as I'll have seen what its really like.

Ignorance really is bliss when it comes to motherhood and children.