https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 05 May 2026 21:16:58 +0000 Wed, 30 Jun 2010 20:00:47 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 11.10 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=33229 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1083081&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1083081 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 30 June 2010 at 8:00pm

Thanks everyone. Thanks Heaf for your msg on FB, its what made me pop in here as I haven't been in for awhile.

Spanky yeah not much else to do but plod on with life. Nothing really excites me anymore but trying to stay positive about life as don't want to sink down any further than I am already. I'm just focusing on going to work each day to be honest.

Victoria so sorry to hear you had mc. Yeah no AF yet that is mean. I hope it comes soon and it happens for you again soon. 2 years is a long time so I really hope next time is a bit quicker for you. Sending you all my baby dust considering I'm not using it right now , although maybe you need AF dust!

I gave my baby clothes to my sister which was a big step for me letting those go. I'm glad I did though, although I almost had a tear or two when I did but I kept it together. I knew she knew how hard that was for me. She was visiting and it was so amazing to feel her baby kicking. My hands were almost permanently glued to her belly. Well actually that was one thing that made me really happy this past week, having her stay with us a few days.
]]> Wed, 30 Jun 2010 20:00:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1083081&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1083081 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1082811&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1082811 Author: didi99
Subject: 33229
Posted: 30 June 2010 at 4:34pm

Hi Victoria
Honestly I think we are to hard on ourselves when we expect to "get over" our MC's so quickly, we have lost a loved one and need to go through the grief process. So go easy on yourself it will get better even though it might not feel like it now.
Have you looked into reasons why it took you 2 years to conceive? Crazy we spend most of our lives trying not to get UTD and then when we want to it never seems as easy as we thought.

Bobsta, I hope you are feeling better hun been thinking of you. ]]> Wed, 30 Jun 2010 16:34:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1082811&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1082811 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1082264&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1082264 Author: Victoria
Subject: 33229
Posted: 30 June 2010 at 11:20am

Hello all,

I've been lurking around and reading the posts. I had an MC in April at 10 weeks.

DH and I aren't spring chickens but still expected to get PG easily. It took two years. We were so excited and had just started telling everyone.

I'm finding it very hard to get over. I still cry when I'm either talking about it or thinking about it and it's beginning to get annoying, which is probably a good sign!

At the moment I'm waiting for AF. It's a lot late now and I'm not PG. How cruel is that? ]]> Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:20:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1082264&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1082264 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1079647&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1079647 Author: heaf3
Subject: 33229
Posted: 28 June 2010 at 1:48pm

hey hun
just letting you know im still here sending you hugs....

really sorry you are struggling at the moment. life is so sucky sometimes to the most deserving people.

stay strong, we are all here for ya.
lotsa luv hun xxxx ]]> Mon, 28 Jun 2010 13:48:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1079647&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1079647 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1079554&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1079554 Author: spanky77
Subject: 33229
Posted: 28 June 2010 at 12:57pm

Oh mate, I could have written the first part of your post a while back. Its such a sh*te feeling isn't it. If there was no mc attached, we would put it down to depression or something, but having the loss kinda made me go 'is it grief or hormones or something else'
The listless feeling is a shocker, it permeates everything. I wrote somewhere else on here, I pretty much gave up going out, doing any socialising, unless strictly necessary, as I was just so conscious that I felt so crap and thought I'd just put a downer on everyone else, plus I was on edge of tears at any given time too.
This isn't about me I know, I just want to give you the idea that you're not alone with feeling like that. And its hard doing the things you know you loved doing, when they all feel so empty and pointless and you wonder if the passion and fire for it all will EVER come back (it will)

Completely understand your worries about ttc and losing again, I think any of us that have lost a baby in anyway will always have that as a real possibility not just something you read about or that happens to other people, as we also know what the loss entails on all the levels.
Whats the best way through it? I don't know. Keep on keeping on sounds kinda trite doesn't it, but I think its along that sense. (Anyone that told me that 'time is a great healer' I ended up wanting to ram a grandfather clock up their ar5e).
Its just a bloody long path, and it sounds like you're doing the best thing, taking care of yourself, taking back some control over your health and self, venting and acknowledging the crappy feelings.
Its good that your dad can understand the health issues you have, and support you from the perspective of someone who has experienced (not the mc of course) it rather than not. Always helps, feels a bit more solid.

Be good to yourself hon]]> Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:57:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1079554&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1079554 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1079030&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1079030 Author: Emmi_
Subject: 33229
Posted: 27 June 2010 at 9:24pm

im still lurking in here checking up on you bobby ]]> Sun, 27 Jun 2010 21:24:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1079030&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1079030 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1077375&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1077375 Author: jjands
Subject: 33229
Posted: 25 June 2010 at 8:11pm

I'm sorry everything is so sucky hun and hope things are looking up for you soon. Thinking of you]]> Fri, 25 Jun 2010 20:11:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1077375&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1077375 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1076435&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1076435 Author: didi99
Subject: 33229
Posted: 25 June 2010 at 10:03am

Big Bobsta, I completely understand how you are feeling hun somethimes life really just isn't fair. Hopefully it has helped to just get it all out.
It is great that you are sorting your health out and so lovely that your Dad is helping you too.
]]> Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:03:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1076435&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1076435 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1076170&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1076170 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 June 2010 at 10:36pm

Thanks for asking about me, it's nice knowing people here really do care about each other. TBH, I'm really struggling with life right now. I am wondering what is the point. I just feel like giving up. I lost all my zest for everything. I haven't even been on here since last week. I don't seem to do or care about anything anymore.

I just realised that I must sound so depressed. I'm not. Just fed up with everything and TBH, quite worried and stressed and TTC again. I am scared that it might take ages to conceive again, and when I do, I might loose it again.

The one good thing I am doing is focusing on getting myself as healthy as possible to give myself the best chance. I have a medical condition and have just faced the fact that that could have been the reason I was so sick while pg and could have been the reason I mc. It's hard facing that truth, that it could have been my body that did it. What I have is nothing compared to some, and mostly I cruise through life without it causing too many problems so it's easy to ignore. Well now I have finally accepted that it's time to put in the hard work and I have to deal with it. Having a healthy baby is my ultimate goal, so that is my motivation to get myself as healthy as possible and to maintain that and not slip backwards again. That has been my life for the last 10 years, a cycle of health crashes, healthy patches after working to fix myself up, but then once I feel better letting it slip and then over time crashing again. So it's time to face the music and make a permanent change to sort myself out. My dad has the same problems as me so he is there and understands what I am going through. He's really happy that I am finally deciding to face things properly. He's even researching into the fertility side of the condition and finding out what things may make it hard to carry a baby or could cause defects in the baby. I'm really lucky to have my dad and never dreamed we would be talking about fertility together!

Wow, I never meant to write that much. Once again I guess I have been bottling things up. ]]> Thu, 24 Jun 2010 22:36:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1076170&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1076170 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1071470&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1071470 Author: spanky77
Subject: 33229
Posted: 21 June 2010 at 8:24pm

mmmmn me too]]> Mon, 21 Jun 2010 20:24:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1071470&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1071470 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1070549&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1070549 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 21 June 2010 at 11:52am

Hey Bobsta - Just wondering how you are? ]]> Mon, 21 Jun 2010 11:52:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1070549&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1070549 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065994&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065994 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 16 June 2010 at 8:32pm

Oh Bobsta, I'm sorry to hear you're not UTD... but totally understand you being happy as larry that things are getting back to norm   I've been thinking this eve that if it's not rising tomorrow then I'm really hoping AF will arrive. So we know where we're at and can get TTC'ing again.
Sending you lots of 's and good wishes for a quick and sticky BFP next month!!]]> Wed, 16 Jun 2010 20:32:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065994&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065994 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065935&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065935 Author: jjands
Subject: 33229
Posted: 16 June 2010 at 7:51pm

aw sorry hun :( but your right at least things are getting back normal for you and I have fingers crossed for you in a months time :) it'll happen hun!
Sucky bout the nurse getting it so wrong you;d think they'd be little more carefully when we all hang off our HCG levels so much!
]]> Wed, 16 Jun 2010 19:51:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065935&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065935 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065757&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065757 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 16 June 2010 at 5:06pm

Well after everything I rang and got my second BT result and it was 6. Yup you read that right 91 to 6 in 3 days. I thought that was very strange too so I questioned the nurse then she realised she told me this morning it was 91 but it was actually 9. Phew, huge sigh of relief that now I know where I stand.

So I am not UTD, it is AF that started today and HCG should be back at 0 by next week. I'm happy as Larry that things are getting back to normal

What a crazy rocky road this has been.]]> Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:06:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065757&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065757 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065666&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065666 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 16 June 2010 at 4:03pm

I did another HPT and got another faint line. So then I had a BT done this morning. But this afternoon I've had some bleeding start so not UTD after all.

I did get my HCG result from BT on Sunday and it's 91 which I've since found out is quite high, especially as I had D&C and wasn't natural mc. I'm just awaiting on BT result from this morning, labtest confirmed they are faxing it to my GP shortly.    

I'm very confused. I know I shouldn't have but I have googled some things. Now I'm more confused and worried. Why oh why did I google?! ]]> Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:03:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1065666&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1065666 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064729&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064729 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 8:30pm

Thanks ladies
Buttons, I just had my BT to check HCG on Sunday and before that they didn't do any at all . I rang my GP's nurse today to get that result but she is away and my GP was off sick! I have left a message for him in the morning so hopefully he will ring me to let me know what level that is at and then fax another BT form to labtest so I can then get another one done. So if it rises then we know it's real. I really hope both of us get to join the February thread in the next day or two, and MrsH I really hope I see you there soon too!]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 20:30:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064729&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064729 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064624&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064624 Author: babygiraffe
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 7:38pm

Fingers crossed Bobsta!!!!! Got a feeling you will be all good to go here, very very stoked for you

Look forward to seeing you BFP confirmed real soon
x]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 19:38:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064624&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064624 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064486&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064486 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 5:21pm

oh and just out of interest Bobsta, what was your last Hcg result? I'm pretty sure I remember mine was 71, but that was nearly 3 weeks ago.
Xxx]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:21:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064486&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064486 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064481&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064481 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 5:17pm

Wohoo!!! Bobsta Can't believe it.
That's awesome! Hopefully at least one of us has the news in a couple of days that it's a definate new BFP... or even better BOTH OF US

I managed to sneak an HCG BT in today using my form that was still on file at the lab... so Fx'd. Will do another one on Thurs and if it's gone up that's got to be a definative answer

PS Brought a couple of extra HPT's today too...

Oohh... good luck ]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:17:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064481&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064481 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064375&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064375 Author: Princess_Bubs
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 4:14pm

Eeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!

That is the most exciting News Bobsta - I'm so pleased for you - Huge Congratulations!!!!!!

I have all my fingers and toes crossed and can't wait to hear a confirmation tomorrow ]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:14:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064375&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064375 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064370&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064370 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 4:12pm

thanks so much jjands
My head is spinning and I keep pacing then going to check the test again just in case the line disappeared. Nope! Still there.

So much has happened in such a short timeframe for us and I feel all over the place right now.

DH rang me so I spilled the beans and he is so happy! I told him will need a BT to confirm it tho. He reckons now he must have super fertile sperm...typical man eh?!

Thanks for all your support everyone, as I could not have been through all this and survived as well as I have without you all ]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:12:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064370&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064370 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064358&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064358 Author: jjands
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 4:05pm

OMG!!!!!! I so hope it's right!!! Ahhh I'm so excited for you u totally deserve this    ahh so excited for you!! ]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:05:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064358&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064358 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064191&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064191 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 2:20pm

Weeeellllllllll...I did the test and have a faint second line.

OMG I am in shock. Just like you buttons I am second guessing it and thinking left over HCG might cause it to show a faint line. Going by my estimated ov day today is 12DPO. I went out and bought a discover and will do that tomorrow with FMU. Have also left a message with my GP as the only way to confirm it really will be a BT. I had one done on Sunday so if the HCG in the second one is higher, then that will pretty much confirm it.

Wow, one minute I am so excited and can't believe it and just want to jump for joy, then the next I am trying to hold it all in in case it's not a real positive.

I keep opening my cellphone to call DH but I really want to tell him in person so I will show him the test when he gets home. Although it's killing me not ringing him right now!

I can't wait to tell my sister!

OMG OMG OMG!!! ]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:20:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064191&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064191 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064021&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064021 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 1:01pm

Yay yay yay yay YAY!!!!!! This is the best news ever! I reckon do another test in a fews days and if the line is getting stronger you'll know it's real and then get that BT done pronto!

Well I have to admit I bought a HPT today too, haven't got the courage to do it yet tho ]]> Tue, 15 Jun 2010 13:01:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1064021&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1064021 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1063604&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1063604 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 14 June 2010 at 10:21pm

Well Bobsta I did... brought a test this evening with the grocery shop....to have it ready to test tomorrow or next day.

I'm not normally a 'tester', usually just wait for AF as I'm so clockwork with my cycle.   But following the MC heartbreak I just wanted to have the test there to be able to give the answer in the morn so I could get on with my day (IFYKWIM).
Not sure what made me do it, but instead of putting in the cupboard I had the sudden urge to do it tonight.   It's a faint BFP!!

Can't believe it... but now I'm second guessing could it be due to HCG left from miscarriage as I don't know for sure it went back to zero as I stopped the 48 hour BT's as I was away for work and then Ov'd on my return a week later.
Am going to get another test tomorrow and also see if I can still sneak in another HCG BT as my form is still lodged on file at the local BT station. So guess it can't hurt to say I need to do one more to check HCG back down as last one about 3 weeks ago was 71.

Oooh... Fx'd for you Bobsta.   And Fx'd mine is real
xx]]> Mon, 14 Jun 2010 22:21:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1063604&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1063604 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1063231&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1063231 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 14 June 2010 at 6:04pm

LOL! I know, almost caved and bought HPT today, but I didn't ]]> Mon, 14 Jun 2010 18:04:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1063231&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1063231 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062414&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062414 Author: jjands
Subject: 33229
Posted: 14 June 2010 at 8:44am

ah the suspense is killing me I wana know Bobsta-sorry thats not very helpful I know!]]> Mon, 14 Jun 2010 08:44:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062414&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062414 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062241&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062241 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 9:06pm

ooooh yay buttons! fingers and toes crossed for both of us! ]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 21:06:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062241&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062241 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062193&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062193 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 8:39pm

Ooh.. good luck Bobsta   If it's to be... it will be   If not this time, then the next. We're in exactly the same position... Ov'd only a couple of day later than norm if counting first day of miscarriage as CD1. I didn't think my body would so quickly, but I definately recognised theOv signs (EWCM etc) so did a few OPK's just to know where cycle was at... and got a +ve. So we decided to try anyway while we had not expectations etc.
And now, like you - am excited at the possibility could be pregnant again...! But trying to keep it realistic in case I'm not
It would be so, sooo, so cool if we both were or even one of us. So big FX'd for usboth!]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 20:39:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062193&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062193 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062124&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062124 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 7:52pm

Awww thanks Nic! I decided I'm not going to test but wait it out. I had bloods today anyway (post D&C BT) so if any HCG shows up the GP will get me to do another BT. I guess if the HCG starts going up rather than down I'll know why
I told DH and he's very happy at the possibility and already made me throw out the ham JIC. I was careful the first time around but I know the next time I am going to be even more careful and no doubt will be holding my breath until I get to hear and see a nice strong heartbeat. ]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 19:52:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1062124&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1062124 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061835&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061835 Author: ALittleLoopy
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 3:12pm

oh bobby, if your excited then im excited, FX you get the answer your heart wants either way!

When are you going to test then if your not sure when AF is due?

Alot of people that have DnC's get UTD before their first AF or in their 1st cycle after...my MIL got preg with DH the cycle after losing his twin sisters at 21weeks.

Blessngs will always find the people that deserve them hun and by god you deserve one!
BIG HUGGLES AND LOVE xxoo]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 15:12:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061835&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061835 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061760&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061760 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 1:32pm

hahaha, I don't know!!!! ]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 13:32:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061760&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061760 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061694&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061694 Author: sem
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 12:22pm

So do I keep doing the AF dance for you or should I stop now? ]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:22:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061694&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061694 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061679&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061679 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 12:07pm

Thanks jjands and you're right. I'm thinking more rationally today (although still feeling quite excited about the thought!). I think I be happy when AF comes as at least then I can start TTC again properly. You guys will be the first to know, after DH of course, if anything happens ]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:07:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061679&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061679 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061587&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061587 Author: jjands
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 10:22am

I hope you are hunny and make sure you tell us as soon as you know! But remember if your not it's ok coz there's always next month and your body might just need a little time thats all. but I have fingers and toes crossed for you sweets. I'm thinking of you and wishing a BFP for you! Look after you emotionally too, and tell DP so he can support you whatever the outcome ]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 10:22:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061587&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061587 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061471&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061471 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 13 June 2010 at 12:22am

I just have to write this otherwise I'm going to explode.

I can't get the thought out of my head that I could be pregnant. It's not a case of it be quite probable, more so that it's possible...and THAT thought is making me so damned excited. The fact that I am that excited about it that I can't sleep, is also worrying me.

I was in no way going to try until after AF arrived. It all happened by accident really. After the D&C we tried having sex but at first emotionally I wasn't ready. Then I was and didn't bother using protection as I thought there was no point as I stupidly thought I wouldn't ov until after my first AF. A day later I had an immense amount of EWCM then some more the next day. I didn't think anything of it. I also had some one sided cramping which I didn't pay any attention too either. But as the days went by I was getting sick of not knowing when AF might arrive as I really wanted to start TTC again. I googled some things and quickly realised that the body DOES ov after a mc and that it happens BEFORE the first AF. OMG I thought as I then realised what the EWCM and cramps could have meant. I actually had sex for the first time after the D&C a day or two before I ov'd...I could possibly get UTD again.

I had already started a new chart just to give me something to do while I waited for AF, so I decided to actually take my temp as well and compare it to my last chart. My theory was if my temp was up it would prove that I had ov'd...and yup it's up.

I haven't told anyone about these thoughts going through my head. I know I'm walking a thin line emotionally right now and it's dangerous to think I could be pg. But I just can't stop myself thinking it and wishing it so damned hard. Please please PLEASE let me be pregnant    ]]> Sun, 13 Jun 2010 00:22:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1061471&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1061471 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1057172&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1057172 Author: Emmi_
Subject: 33229
Posted: 08 June 2010 at 8:18pm

from me too Bob. Love you hun. Your doing a great job, so just keep putting one foot in front of the other

GL MrsH, I will be looking forward to seeing your sticky BFP ]]> Tue, 08 Jun 2010 20:18:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1057172&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1057172 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1057034&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1057034 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 08 June 2010 at 6:57pm

It's a date mrshopeful, May sounds like a good month to me, it has a nice ring to it
Thanks for sharing too, that was really nice to read. I brought up the topic with TTC again with DH as he's all for trying again as was just waiting for me to bring it up. So I guess it's all on after AF arrives! I know what you mean, scary thinking about getting a second line. At least this time around I will get lots of BT's and scans so I won't have to wait so long before finding out if there's anything wrong. FX it will be smooth sailing. Crossing my fingers and toes for you too

Edited by Bobsta]]> Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:57:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1057034&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1057034 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1056526&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1056526 Author: babygiraffe
Subject: 33229
Posted: 08 June 2010 at 2:02pm

Hey bobsta, my sister and I dont live in the same city either. She came to stay with me last weekend, I loved every minute of it. We just had the best weekend and after I dropped her to the airport I cried all the way home, the first time in the 4 years since I moved away from her. Not sure what I was crying about, doesn't take much at the moment. Its nearly been 3 months since my D&C but I feel incredibly emotional this month, possibly because my first angel babies due date is coming up on the 19th June. SUX. Not sure if I feel angry or sad? I'd be due in a weeks time but unfortunately the only belly I've got is one from drinking too much wine. Haha...
We are also going to try again after this cycle which I am excited and scared to death about. I'm almost dreading seeing those two lines come up on the pg test. But when you are hitting up 38 you just have to get back on the horse and try again - no time to sit around feeling sorry for myself! Mother Nature better be on my side this time round god damn her.....
I dont know how long it takes to feel good about life again, I still have moments of feeling sad. I'm scared of the future and terrified of having to deal with all this drama again. But I will be a Mother one day and I will keep trucking along and wont give up.   And you will too! Being a Mum just means too much to me so I will take a deep breath at the end of this month and cross my fingers and toes.....
Take care bobsta - see you around in the April? May? thread hopefully ]]> Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:02:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1056526&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1056526 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1055987&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1055987 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:42pm

Hugs my dear friend, allowing yourself the privilige to feel your pain wholly is the first real step to starting to heal....

]]> Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:42:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1055987&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1055987 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1055950&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1055950 Author: jjands
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:19pm

I'm very glad you have your sister she sounds as though she is wonderful for you (most of the time hehe) just checked in to see how your doing, thinking of you ]]> Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:19:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1055950&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1055950 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1055139&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1055139 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 06 June 2010 at 9:33pm

It's been one month today

Doing good I think.   I had a really good talk with my sister. Even though she's never been through it, and I hope she never has to, it was good to talk to her and she gave me some good advice.

I have been putting pressure on myself to know what we plan next, but the honest truth is I have no idea what I want to do yet. Wait, or start to TTC again as soon as we can? I don't feel strongly towards either options, I just don't know.

I started a new FF chart although I'm not temping, just using it to record symptoms and to see how long it will take my cycle to get back to normal. AF was due yesterday but no signs of it arriving yet
Although I did have some ovulation signs about 3 days ago so I think that's a good sign. Hopefully that means AF will arrive 12 days or so after that.

Although I can't do anything but wait, I feel good being proactive about things. I've learnt I can't control my emotions, and that things may get to me from time to time. It's funny as even though everyone was telling me to just feel everything and to cry when I need to cry, I was getting frustrated why I kept feeling emotional and was asking myself how long it would last for. It took my sister to tell me that I'm perfectly normal and I can't control when the feelings will go away to really understand that I have to just go with the flow and just be happy to feel whatever emotion it is that comes.

My sister can be annoying but I love you very much and she is always there for me when I need her, even though I often tell myself I don't need her help. That must be little sister syndrome

Edited by Bobsta]]> Sun, 06 Jun 2010 21:33:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1055139&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1055139 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1052066&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1052066 Author: heaf3
Subject: 33229
Posted: 03 June 2010 at 2:49pm

i will send you some more hun
i hope that is enough? i would fill up the screen with them if i could...

and oh no to the food poisoning!!!!! thats not good!

take care of yourself hun, dont worry about crying, it is all natural and sometimes it does help. especially after something like a mc...it hasnt been that long yet hun, and its a big thing for your mind to work through...but we are all here to give you hugs and support when you need it.
]]> Thu, 03 Jun 2010 14:49:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1052066&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1052066 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1052050&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1052050 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 03 June 2010 at 2:39pm

Well on top of everything I have a touch of food poisoning from eating a dodgy egg sandwich yesterday. I took today of work and have just woken up. I think it must have been some much needed sleep. My SIL is lovely and seems to have a sixth sense as she always texts me to say she's thinking of me just at a time I'm feeling blue. I don't know how she knows but she just does. I'm going to go and see her tonight. She's had a mc before so she really understands the emotions I'm going through.

My big sis is coming to stay with us for a few days later this month so it will be really nice to see her. I miss her and sometimes wish we lived in the same city so we could be closer. I can't wait to see her.

When do these feelings of sadness stop? I don't really expect an answer to that. I have some tears coming now, I think I feel relieved that I'm crying as I think I have been trying to hold it in and think that I shouldn't still need to cry. But I do. Maybe everything that happened on Sunday was a good thing as it's let me get this out again. I didn't realise but maybe I was bottling things up. I feels good to cry. I just wish my sister was here so she could give me a big hug.

Thanks Mel and jjands for your virtual hugs, I needed them today.



]]> Thu, 03 Jun 2010 14:39:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1052050&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1052050 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1051592&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1051592 Author: jjands
Subject: 33229
Posted: 03 June 2010 at 9:25am

It can be so hard when people think they're helping.....

I think you sound very strong, it must feel like trying to cope all over again, I think your coping mechanisms sound good and maybe start those again (frustrating for you though) I'm sorry you've had this set back i hope your feeling happier soon

I'm sorry your feeling bad again ]]> Thu, 03 Jun 2010 09:25:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1051592&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1051592 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1051525&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1051525 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 33229
Posted: 03 June 2010 at 8:17am

Hugs hun, it can be so hard when well meaning people do the wrong thing at the wrong time!

I am thinking of you!]]> Thu, 03 Jun 2010 08:17:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1051525&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1051525 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1051333&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1051333 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 02 June 2010 at 9:35pm

The blues have hit me again tonight. I have not had the need to write lately, I have found other things that help me release emotions. But the last few days have been particularly hard and now it's getting to me again. I'm hoping writing this will balance me out again.

If a certain person reads this, please understand I'm not mad at you and have completely forgiven you. But I need to get this out and writing really helps.

Unfortunately I was forced into thinking about things on Sunday night when talking to someone on the phone. I was taken by complete surprise, especially as it had be the first weekend since everything that me and DH had had a really nice relaxing weekend together, having had lots of fun and laughs. Not sad moment at all. I tried to cut the topic short by saying very directly I don't want to talk about it. I know they immediately realised they had way over stepped the line so the natural thing was to try and explain. This only made it worse as I physically was unable to talk or listen about anything that had happened to me recently. I wasn't ready to have people talk to me about things I need to know and do for when I'm pregnant again.      

I spent a very long time crying and neither me or DH could sleep much that night. Needles to say Monday was no great joy as we were then also sleep deprived. It took me a good 2 days to get over it. I wasn't angry or anything, in fact I felt the opposite. I felt really sorry for them as I know they have no way of knowing what's right and I didn't want them to feel guilty or upset over knowing they had really upset me. For that reason I really hope they do not read this. If you do, I love you very much and it's okay. I just felt that all the sadness had started to settle into a nice quite corner of my mind and didn't really bother me too much until all this happened, then it came spilling out again and I lost my focus that I had just started to get back.

I started to feel better again yesterday, I even went to the movies with a friend from work and had a really nice girls night.

Then last night things were brought up a bit again. It was fine at the time and I knew they needed to talk about it to ensure I was okay. Talking about what happened to me is their way of showing they are there for me and they care and want to help. I get that.

It's just that this is something they can't help with. Talking about it unfortunately hasn't helped me and doesn't help me. I found my coping mechanisms, writing, listening to a few select songs that really give me peace, and exercising. After everything that's happened, now all I feel is blue again and I can't shake it. DH is worried as I've been very quiet tonight. I don't want him to worry as it will pass.

I just wish none of this had happened.    ]]> Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:35:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1051333&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1051333 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1041914&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1041914 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 25 May 2010 at 8:17pm

It's all good TTjunkie, it's nice having people post and I like hearing about other people experiences and how they handled things. I'm definitely learning that what I have been feeling lately is perfectly normal and to just go with the flow and handle it as best as I can. I think I'm doing pretty well overall, even if I do say so myself Although today has been a great day so its easy to say that now! Hope things are going well with your little bundle and say hi to the November girls for me ]]> Tue, 25 May 2010 20:17:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1041914&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1041914 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1041012&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1041012 Author: tictacjunkie
Subject: 33229
Posted: 25 May 2010 at 11:08am

Hi Bobsta, have to say reading your posts you could have been inside my head. It does take awhile, 8 mths later I'm still having good & bad days. I made it past my Edd in March better than I thought I would, but fell apart the week after. I definitely get the "angries", had a couple of people suggest I had pnd but psych friend said bs it's grief and you can't "fix" it with a pill, it's ok to be angry, sad, numb, whatever. Sorry I don't have anything helpful to say!]]> Tue, 25 May 2010 11:08:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1041012&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1041012 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040619&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040619 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 9:51pm

Hahaha, so after all that it does say cardio, that is funny! Yeah I might be a tad stiff and sore tomorrow too! No, no sign of AF just yet dammit!

ETA - thanks Mel, doing better now I am keen of a coffee sometime soon so we will have to try for a catchup again this weekend. I will PM you later on in the week. Hope your wee bump is doing good

Edited by Bobsta]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 21:51:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040619&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040619 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040617&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040617 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 9:50pm

Glad you are getting out and about hun, was starting to get worried and was just about to pm susy to make sure you were ok!!!!!

Still want to catch up for that coffee so just pm me when you are free ]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 21:50:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040617&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040617 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040594&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040594 Author: sem
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 9:40pm

You should maybe mention that the 'yoga' class turned out to be a full on aerobic work out! But yes it was fun and I think I was just as worried as you when all these bellies turned up!
Glad you enjoyed it though! Wonder how we feel tomorrow though...

Oh and I had another look on their website and I think we got our facts wrong - it did say its a cardio class...

I forgot to ask you, but any sign of AF yet or is it still too soon?

Edited by susyl]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 21:40:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040594&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040594 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040570&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040570 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 9:27pm

Thanks everyone, you had all been so fantastic and it's really helped me over the past 3 days. Saturday was a really sh*tty day but Sunday was great. I ended up doing a bit of retail therapy with DH then getting a manicure. I think it's what I needed as I hadn't made any effort to feel pretty since before I was pregnant. Today has also been a great day. You might think I'm nuts but I went to a pregnancy yoga class tonight. I went along with Susi and I felt so good afterwards. At first when I got there and saw all the round bellies I thought "uh oh, this is a really dumb idea" but it was great! It's funny as I love being around pregnant people as it actually inspires and motivates me to focus on my goal to be a mum one day. I couldn't help but think at the end of it how many people in the class I might have chatted to on OB Anyone go to a yoga class in Three Kings tonight at 7.30pm? Although it's more of an aerobic class than a yoga class

So today was a good day, lets just hope the good ones hang around and the bad ones stay away. ]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 21:27:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040570&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040570 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040438&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040438 Author: lostAmber
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 7:58pm

I was really angry too. And depressed. I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I wasn't working at the time, I was at uni, and in the end just quit. All I could do is drag myself from my bed to lay in front of the heater, read some, or just lay there doing nothing. I also had no motivation to do my housework (and when home I vacuum atleast once a day!). The biggest mistake I made though was in not allowing myself to grieve. This just prolonged the process. I hated how I felt, didn't know if it was acceptable to feel like that or not, so just tried to ignore it. I didn't work though, and in the end I developed PND, which sounds rediculous in itself given that I didn't have a baby at the end of it.

Allow your emotions to be what they are hun. And don't put a time limit on them. The intensity will fade, but it will hurt for a long while yet. The only thing that has really brought me out of that grief was conceiving again, but the 6 months it took to get to that point was hell.

PM me if you ever need to *hugs*

I have some books if you want to read them too. Just let me know and i'll send them up. I didn't want to read anything initially, moreso because I didn't want to engage in the text and feel any thing more than what I already was. But when the time came where I felt I could face them, they were great. There is also m/c support up there in Auckland if you want to investigate that option.]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 19:58:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040438&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040438 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040195&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040195 Author: didi99
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:32pm

Bobsta what you are feeling is completely normal.
I remember thinking why am I still such a mess but really I think sometimes we need to give ourselves a break. You have had a loss and it was not very long ago, ask yourself if this was someone else you were close to that passed away would you be expected to have gotten "over it" not likely.
This is not an easy thing to go through and unfortunately it can be really hard for others to understand sometimes unless they have been here themselves.
The only other advice I can give is to cry as much as you can, I know that sounds strange but I think if you don't let it out these feelings will turn into anger and frustration. I really don't think I cryed enough the first time so this time round I am making an effort not to be too brave and bawl my eyes out when I need to rather than bottling it up.

Sorry I've kind of gone on a bit and I'm not sure if any of it actually makes any sense.]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 17:32:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040195&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040195 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040042&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040042 Author: heaf3
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:08pm

sending more big squishy hugs to you hun sorry you are having a rough time of it! ]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 16:08:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1040042&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1040042 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1039378&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1039378 Author: Princess_Bubs
Subject: 33229
Posted: 24 May 2010 at 10:46am

I'm so truly sorry for what you are going through.

There's going to be lots more bad days, but you'll find they get fewer and far between. For me it's been 10 weeks (Every Wednesday is still really hard for me as that was my Anniversary, I should be 20 weeks this week!). I cried every night for about an hour for the first 6 weeks. I would climb into bed and just sob on my dp as all the awful feelings I had were building up during the day, I didn't know where to direct them, and I still don't most of the time.

The good days are becoming more often and I'm starting to feel much more like my happy self again, but there's always going to be reminders and things that will set us off, but I promise you that you'll start to feel better as time goes on. Just do nice things for yourself and surround yourself with all the people who love and care for you, There's lots of us on here.

Lots of love

]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 10:46:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1039378&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1039378 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1038504&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1038504 Author: babygiraffe
Subject: 33229
Posted: 23 May 2010 at 11:21am

Hey Bobsta. YES. Hell yes. I went through exactly what you are talking about. My poor DH, he didn't know where he stood with me for about 6 weeks after my m/c. I was bl*ody awful. I just wanted to be 'me' again and I didn't know when the anger and frustration was going to go. God, I was so angry and bitter.

It does get better, its coming up about 10 weeks since my D&C and life is good for me again. Sometimes I have days where I'm a bit snappy and moody if DH doens't say or do the right thing! Poor guy. He is/was extremely patient with me.

Just know it will get better but it will take time - one day you will wake up and your heart will feel happy again...]]> Sun, 23 May 2010 11:21:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1038504&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1038504 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1038261&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1038261 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 33229
Posted: 22 May 2010 at 10:06pm

Hugs hun!

I do want to say that its ok to be angry and hurt and upset and the best thing you can do is FEEL it.

The grieving process is different for everyone and though I am not saying I think this is an issue right now, Post Natal Depression is something women can have after a loss so if you think you are not coping go and see your GP!

I suppose you are not in the mood for a coffee tomorrow but I am free next weekend too and you just have to holler and I will be there (with or without the kidlet at your choice!).

Lots and lots and lots of hugs!]]> Sat, 22 May 2010 22:06:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1038261&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1038261 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1038111&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1038111 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 22 May 2010 at 7:45pm

That would be nice. Things are starting to get on top of me so maybe that would help. I am finding that the days when I don't work are quite hard to get through. I seem to be having major mood swings and I don't know how to control it. I don't want to be moody but I feel so frustrated with everything and it's all the time. I also get little bouts or anger, at nothing in particular. I hate feeling like this, I feel guilty for being like this and with DH having to put up with me. I can't focus on things for long either as I don't have the patience. The only thing that is getting me through the day is work, but I can only do that Monday to Friday. I'm not enjoying weekends and having time on my hands. Why the hell can't I go back to being me again? I can't stand being like this. Life really does suck right now. I just want to fast forward through to a time when this has all past. Did anyone else go through these feelings? How long do these feelings last? ]]> Sat, 22 May 2010 19:45:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1038111&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1038111 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034289&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034289 Author: Smiles
Subject: 33229
Posted: 19 May 2010 at 10:16pm

xoxox

P.S. Susyl said it might be nice for the 3 of us to catch up some time when you're up to it!]]> Wed, 19 May 2010 22:16:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034289&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034289 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034232&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034232 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 19 May 2010 at 9:32pm

You're the best smiles, thanks for that as you made me feel better ]]> Wed, 19 May 2010 21:32:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034232&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034232 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034226&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034226 Author: Smiles
Subject: 33229
Posted: 19 May 2010 at 9:24pm

Bobsta, it's ok...these feelings will come and go. You just need to accept them when they're around and know that you will get through it...think of how much you've got through already.

I know how you feel....I so know how you feel. I went to see Avenue Q on the weekend and DH and I bumped into a friend of his who we found out is 20 weeks pregnant. I just wanted to cry as I realised I would be 27 weeks pregnant now. It's still difficult for me too....and I imagine it will be tough every now and then for a while. We just have to be strog and know that one day we'll have that beautiful baby we've dreamed of

So cheer up hun....write on here...do what you need to, We're all here for you x]]> Wed, 19 May 2010 21:24:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034226&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034226 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034157&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034157 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 19 May 2010 at 8:33pm

Feeling quite low today. Can't quite get into chatting to people like I usually do. Just feel like I need to write again. I feel just blank, no sadness or happiness, I just feeling nothing. I started thinking today how cool it will be to be a mum one day. We were doing fun things at work and that started it off. I enjoy doing kid things and thought how I couldn't wait to have kids so I have a good excuse for it. Can't blame the mood on just that as I lost my good nature a bit today anyway. I'm normally so patient with the people I deal with through my work but I just wanted to tell them all to go away and really couldn't be bothered. I have my follow up with my GP next Thursday but I'm not really that keen for it.

Yesterday I was was in a great space, even started up a new chart on FF to get ready for things. Changed my ticker to Elmo too as it made me smile. Now I just feel sh*t looking at it as it makes me realise how opposite I am feeling right now to what I was feeling yesterday. Sometimes life it just sh*t and you can't see the sun anywhere and don't even want to try. All I want is thunder clouds so I can feel free to be miserable, complain and mope. God I'm wallowing in self pity, that's so unlike me. Whatever, I'm over everything right now I don't care about anything anymore.

    ]]> Wed, 19 May 2010 20:33:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1034157&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1034157 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1032140&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1032140 Author: Emmecat
Subject: 33229
Posted: 18 May 2010 at 1:52pm

Bobsta I just wanted to say how sorry I was to read of your loss....I was in hospital myself so have had to catch up on things a bit but I was truely gutted to hear about what had happened and hope you are doing ok-ish . My D&C was terribly difficult, one of the most horrible things I've had to go through and I wouldn;t wish it on anyone. I hope and pray that you and DH keep strong and are blessed again soon when you are ready. Take care hun. x]]> Tue, 18 May 2010 13:52:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1032140&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1032140 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1030359&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1030359 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 17 May 2010 at 11:47am

Thanks Bobsta   It's a tough thing to have to go through, so it's great we're all there to support each other
I'm so glad you're having a better day... it is good to get out and enjoy some time walking and with friends etc. I'm just at the stage where it's still so new that I just want to be at home away from work. But am feeling okay now to share it with the few people who knew we were pregnant so have sent texts (just too fresh and emotional to talk by phone) and they've been supportive .
As have my Clomid Pill Popper friends... amazingly supportive. It's definately been good to read your journey and responses as well. Not feeling so alone in this journey.
I remember when you got your BFP... and hopefully it won't be too long until we both can celebrate again
xx
Edited spelling mistakes!

Edited by Buttons2]]> Mon, 17 May 2010 11:47:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1030359&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1030359 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1029493&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1029493 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 16 May 2010 at 6:09pm

Hi Buttons2. I'm so sorry that you are going through it all too. Big hugs to you hun and I'm glad that reading is helping you with things. We all cope differently, as you can tell my coping mechanism was writing so I'm glad reading this helps you too.
Today has been a good day. After a wee 1km run last night I had some bleeding and though hooray, it was AF!   But alas no, I've been told it's too soon for that and it's stopped already too so was just a bit of post D&C bleeding. I also went out for a nice long walk with a OB friend and it was great to get out and see people again. I guess I have been hiding a bit since I was so sick.

I really hope you are okay Buttons. I'm around if you need to chat so feel free to PM me anytime ]]> Sun, 16 May 2010 18:09:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1029493&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1029493 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1029341&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1029341 Author: Buttons2
Subject: 33229
Posted: 16 May 2010 at 4:01pm

Hey Bobsta - how are you doing today?
We're just going through the sadness of miscarrying this weekend. And it's been a lifeline being able to read about other's experiences.
Really hoping your body plays ball and settles back into your cycle quickly for you
xxoo]]> Sun, 16 May 2010 16:01:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1029341&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1029341 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028576&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028576 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 May 2010 at 7:36pm

sending you a hug back Mel ]]> Sat, 15 May 2010 19:36:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028576&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028576 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028568&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028568 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 May 2010 at 7:30pm



What you have written is so familiar! You listen to your DH it is ok to feel sad and its always better shared!

Thinking of you hun!

]]> Sat, 15 May 2010 19:30:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028568&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028568 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028516&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028516 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 May 2010 at 6:47pm

Thanks so much spanky. Not wishy washy at all. You're absolutely right about the head and heart thing. I do get affected by dreams too and think it's our subconscious telling us things. My brain is telling me to do one thing but my heart is trying to do something different. Last night I made it to bed without any tears but they started coming very slowly. DH picked it up without even seeing them or hearing my sniffle. I am lucky he is so intune with me. He gave me a big hug which was enough to make them come full force. He had to really probe me to get me to talk about exactly how I was feeling. I knew if I started talking it would all gush out again. I'm afraid I not only made his shoulder all wet with tears but probably a bit of nose dribble too. I told him I just suddenly had so much sadness wash over me but I didn't understand why and I didn't want to feel sad anymore. He told me it's okay to feel sad sometimes and told me sometimes he feels sad too and thinks about things. I just let is all out last night, I cried so hard I had the struggling to breathe and cry at the same time thing going on. I guess I needed that to happen. This morning I woke up and still had the sadness. Was feeling very low. We started doing our usual Saturday spring clean of the house and the tears started dripping again while I was sorting the washing, lucky it was the towels I was sorting so had something handy to wipe my nose with. I managed to shake the sadness for awhile. But then I got so angry and frustrated when the video store couldn't find a DVD I wanted to hire. Of all the movies, I wanted to watch Jaws! I felt that watching a big shark eat people would make me feel better. Am I crazy or what? Then I couldn't find a dairy that had a block of crunchie chocolate. Talk about mood swings. Then we got home and my auntie had sent me a condolence card. I know her intentions were good but right at that moment I just didn't need reminding about what I had lost. Well after a coffee and some chocolate (yes I found some crunchie), I found myself calming down again. Then I started watching a movie (New Moon) and the sadness started again when I was watching the part where he leaves her. I was thinking I know just how she felt. A gut wrenching loss and sadness that just overwhelms.

Man I sound so depressing. Sorry. So today has had it's ups and downs. I guess working during the week keeps me busy enough but when I have time to stop and think, that's when it creeps up on me.

I think about how many people go through this and think how strong so many people are because of it. So many people in this forum have shared with me their story of miscarriage and loss. It's really helped me and it also reminds me that what we see of other people is only the surface. Many things are kept well hidden until there is a reason to open up and share. I think how amazing people really are when they share with each other. Look at this forum, so much love, caring and support and because of it I feel so much more aware of people and their feelings, here and IRL. It's just a shame that it takes something sad to happen for people to learn these things. I guess some lessons in life are tougher than others. ]]> Sat, 15 May 2010 18:47:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028516&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028516 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028200&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028200 Author: spanky77
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 May 2010 at 12:49pm

Love to you, Bobsta

have followed this thread a bit, I don't think I commented yet, but I remember thinking at one point, 'OMG you are SOOO together about this'.
I know there's no comparison, everyone carries different stories. And you've probably heard it already, about this whole after-mc thing being quite up and down. You sound like your heads quite screwed on, and thats good.
If anything I have found that the head and heart sometimes have quite different agendas, and my head will be going "shouldn't feel this, should be x-*insert current self-berating word*" whereas my heart will just feel plain sad. I guess its the difference between thinking and feeling, and we can't always rationalise out feelings, especially if they contradict the values or norms we hold either from ourselves, or society, or whatever
I don't know if this makes any sense to you. I think I'm just trying to say that its ok with what you are feeling, and it may be good not to try and put labels and expectations on what you 'should' be doing, or how you were managing last week/month/yesterday.
From what I've read, I don't think you could really say that you AREN'T strong, ok?!

This probably sounds really hippywishywashy, but I think dreams speak to our hearts, well, they're subconscious things anyway. I know I can be far more affected by a feeling that I experience in a dream than the actual dream content. So I can understand that a dream where you ARE carrying a pregnancy and it works out as you would want it, thats the kind of stuff that would make me think a bit, about what had and hadn't happened recently.

Your DP sounds awesome, he sounds quite responsive to you, thats fantastic. I hope he is doing ok as well.
And I hope you have been able to salvage your weekend without too many tears (although I'm of the opinion that if they need to come out, better out than in)

hang in there, dude.]]> Sat, 15 May 2010 12:49:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1028200&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1028200 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1027845&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1027845 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 15 May 2010 at 12:03am

Feeling so blue right now. I had a dream last night that I had twin boys. In the dream I got to breast feed them and then they grew up into toddlers and were right little trouble makers but they were so cute.
When I woke I thought I was fine, didn't feel overly sad or anything. Today though has just been one of the days when you know from the beginning you just want it over with already. Nothing bad happened but just felt a bit blah all day. All week I have been really happy and energetic and loving life. The only reason I can think of why today is so different is because of the dream. I told DH about the dream and he was really nice and asked if I was ok. When I told him about it I made sure I sounded happy but he knows me so well, he must have picked up the hidden meaning that I just felt I had to tell him. He went out tonight to visit a friend and just got back. Straight away he could tell I was blue and gave me a big cuddle and lots of kisses. He keeps asking me if I'm okay.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I can feel the tears building up but I don't understand it. I'm not sad anymore about loosing the baby. So why has this dream gotten to me like this? I didn't think about at all today until I got home from work.

Okay I managed to swallow back the tears. This is the first time all of this week that I have been close to tears. I thought I was doing so well. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought and I haven't quite moved on. Hopefully I wake up tomorrow morning and feel happy and energetic again. I don't want to spend my weekend feeling depressed.    ]]> Sat, 15 May 2010 00:03:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1027845&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1027845 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1021899&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1021899 Author: Smiles
Subject: 33229
Posted: 10 May 2010 at 7:00pm

Hi Bobsta,

You are really doing so well :) Just wanted to say that from my experience taking a bit of time out from TTC and focusing on other things really really helps. After I miscarried all I could think about was wanting to get my AF cycles back on track so we could start trying again. But it was really stressing me out as it was all I could think about. To be honest after mc your body can do some weird things and I'm not sure mine's fully recovered yet either. So, I decided to stop putting off life and am now right in the final stages of getting a new job which is an amazing opportunity for me. I look back on what has happened and whilst i hate the fact I went through it, I have found happiness in other opportunities simply by changing my focus. Think of something you've always wanted to do but haven't and do it ! Babies are amazing but they're not everything (apparently...hehe) - I'm slowly discovering there's so much else out there for me to experience...the babies will come...for both of us when the time is right :)

x]]> Mon, 10 May 2010 19:00:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1021899&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1021899 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1021864&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1021864 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 10 May 2010 at 6:36pm

Thanks heaf and today went really well. It was actually great to be back. It's been about 7 weeks since I even did a full days work as I had been so sick. Everyone was fantastic and a few people even shared that they have been through it too so really understand. It was nice to feel happy and to talk about things a bit with them. Talking about it doesn't make me sad anymore, just happy. I am looking forward to the next time I get to try and grow my wee bean again but I'm not going to rush into anything, it will happen at the right time so will leave that in fates hands.

Much hugs to everyone and thanks for everything, you're all amazing people and will never be forgotten for sharing this journey with me. ]]> Mon, 10 May 2010 18:36:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1021864&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1021864 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1021155&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1021155 Author: heaf3
Subject: 33229
Posted: 10 May 2010 at 8:46am

bobsta that is so awesome to hear! well done on having good days!! i hope work goes well today. i think a little break from ttc will do you guys great too, have some time to yourselves
xxxxx]]> Mon, 10 May 2010 08:46:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1021155&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1021155 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020854&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020854 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 09 May 2010 at 6:21pm

That was an awesome read stef, thank you for sharing that with me! That sure did give me some big smiles.

Today has been a good day too, that's two in a row now
Tomorrow is the first day back at work tho so I'm a little bit anxious about that. I know it will be fine but just taking those first few steps into the office, smiling and saying good morning to everyone, pretending that I'm not thinking about anything else but starting work, but in reality I'm thinking how weird it is doing normal things like nothing has changed. The truth is I will be changed forever, but I like the change. I like knowing that I had someone very special growing in me even tho it was for so short a time.

Well dinner is almost ready so I better go mash the potatoes. Just wanted to let you all know each day is getting better and better and overall I'm feeling happy now most of the time. Life is actually starting to feel good.      ]]> Sun, 09 May 2010 18:21:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020854&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020854 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020607&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020607 Author: lemongirl
Subject: 33229
Posted: 09 May 2010 at 11:10am

I like your attitude Bobsta.I think it's really important to see this time as a time for a bit of self improvement and indulgence. Do stuff for yourself that you won't get a chance once you get pregnant again. Do classes, eat sushi, go on a wild holiday somewhere.

Ps writing can help. I wrote a piece ages ago on offbeat mama. right here]]> Sun, 09 May 2010 11:10:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020607&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020607 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020247&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020247 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 08 May 2010 at 5:59pm

Thanks Soda

Today was a good day ALL day, no tears at all so far. Was nice to get out and do things and we did a massive big spring clean of the house so everything feels fresh and sparkly clean. Feels nice to start to feeling happy again. It is also nice to not feel sick anymore and to have energy again.

I think maybe having a break from TTC might be a good idea. It took us a year to get this little bub so our life has been ruled by HPT's, OPK's and the constant waiting for a very long time. I think just spending a month or two together and enjoying life might be a nice change before we jump back on the TTC wagon. ]]> Sat, 08 May 2010 17:59:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020247&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020247 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020119&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020119 Author: _Soda_
Subject: 33229
Posted: 08 May 2010 at 3:08pm

oh Bobby, having travelled the TTC road with you for quite a while, it breaks my heart to know what you are going through..i am so glad you are beginning to heal, the orchid plant is such a lovely idea and a journal might be nice to look back on too.
you WILL have your baby in your arms soon hun, dont lose sight of that.

HUGS hunny, if you ever need anything PM me ok im just a phone call away.. x x x x x x x ]]> Sat, 08 May 2010 15:08:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020119&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020119 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020033&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020033 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 33229
Posted: 08 May 2010 at 1:06pm

Hun your strength is inspiring!]]> Sat, 08 May 2010 13:06:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1020033&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1020033 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019972&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019972 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 08 May 2010 at 11:12am

Emmi I think a journal is a really good idea. I might print of all this this and stick it in. I would like to one day read back on all this. Nic music is very healing too, my DH played our song over and over the day after we found out as it was something that made him feel better. You have all been so good to me. Everyone handles things differently and thank you for being here for me and reading my words and sharing your thoughts with me. I don't know how I would have handled things if I didn't have you guys here with me.    

Today is a good day as I have woken up today feeling ready for life again. I think my grieving time is passing and now when I think about her I feel happy sadness but not the devastating sadness and loss anymore. I'm sure that will come occasionally but I am able to think about other things and start getting back into life again. Yesterday my DH brought home a beautiful tall glass vase with orchids in it. He was a bit sad and when I asked why he said he had got it ordered in especially but it was supposed to be a living orchid plant so we have it with us always. Today we are going to go out and find one and I think that will help bring closure for both of us. It will be nice to have something to look at that represents her so she will be with us always.

Have a lovely day everyone and I send you all hugs and am wishing you good fortune for the kindness you have shown me.

Much Love
]]> Sat, 08 May 2010 11:12:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019972&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019972 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019804&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019804 Author: lil_lease
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 10:36pm

Wow those poems brought a tear to my eyes.

Hugs bobsta and I hope you're feeling less pain tomorrow.

I think theres always someone here with a kind ear and a loving heart for you to talk to. ]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 22:36:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019804&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019804 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019744&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019744 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 9:03pm

hugs I haven't read everything but just wanted to say I have been there(12 week finding out) .. :( and know how much it hurts and am thinking of you .. ]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 21:03:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019744&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019744 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019578&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019578 Author: Emmi_
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 6:42pm

Bobby, Ive got a 'pregnancy jounal' type thing, that I started when we MC our angel baby, it helped to remember how I felt, what we went through and what it was like. I plan to give it to my kids (I havnt decided whether to start a new one for each baby or just have them all in one yet) I actually read back to the beginning the other day and it was really nice remembering what it was like (I MCed in May last year so its coming up to his anniversary in a couple of weeks)...]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 18:42:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019578&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019578 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019431&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019431 Author: TheKelly
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 4:03pm

...some have a lifetime
and some have a day
But love isn't measured
in that kind of way

]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 16:03:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019431&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019431 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019336&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019336 Author: ALittleLoopy
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:39pm

sorry about the links if your into that but i find music especially loud works really well for healing me...
im loving creed atm on youtube..like the lyrics that make me think or you and all the other angels....

"Above all the others,
Well fly,
this brings tears
to my eyes,
MY sacrifice"


and creeds - lullaby

Hush my love now dont you cry
Everything will be all right
Close your eyes and drift in dream
Rest in peaceful sleep

If theres one thing I hope
I showed you
Hope I showed you

Just give love to all

Oh my love in my arms tight
Every day you give me life
As I drift off to your world
Will rest in peaceful sleep

I know theres one thing that
you showed me
That you showed me

Just give love to all
Lets give love to all

Edited by BAMN08]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 14:39:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019336&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019336 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019322&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019322 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:23pm

That would be really nice Heaf
I thought about a blog after realising the writing is what I need to do, but so much is in here already and I don't want to loose it. I imagine next week when I go back to work it will help me get back into normal life again. Maybe then I'll start a blog.    ]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 14:23:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019322&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019322 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019310&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019310 Author: heaf3
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:15pm

you are very welcome hun made me happier writing them too so i guess it all helps ay!

im glad you were able to sleep this morning.

are you going to start a blog or anything? i started one awhile ago and i havent written much in it yet but it is nice to have something like that to write in. writing really does soothe you sometimes. for some reason i find i can write better when im actually on the computer, it seems less scary than on paper which is weird.

sometime i want to come down to aucks and i think we should meet up and have lunch or go shopping or something and then i can give you a big hug in person, but this will have to do for now so once you are feeling a bit better and are up to seeing people let me know and i will try and suss coming down there to see you whenever you are ready.]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 14:15:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019310&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019310 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019304&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019304 Author: ALittleLoopy
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:11pm

I sing this to my one and just did for your bubba too...i think it suits any lil bubba! its my lullaby :)

janelle - Amazing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-xmLD85M8o

when you feel up to t\it, have a listen i think itll speak to you like it does me ]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 14:11:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019304&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019304 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019284&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019284 Author: Bobsta
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:01pm

I don't know what to say anymore, the words are just not coming anymore, I just feel blank. I am here reading all your words of support so thank you. Thank you doesn't do how I feel justice, but I want you all to know everything you write is helping me get through each day. I slept all morning and at least the pain is dulled by the drugs. Today is a bed day for me. Hopefully tomorrow I will be better and be able to start doing things again and get back into the routine of life. I know I will find every day hard for awhile but life needs to go on.

Thanks for putting your poem in here kelly, I was going to pm you to ask if I could copy it in here. This place is where I come to feel my sadness, think about things, and release my emotions. I don't know how long I'll keep writing, but for now it's the only thing that helps. I can't watch tv or read as my mind won't focus, and I don't want to sit around and mope, so I write. Afterwards I can function okay till I get sad again, so then I write some more. Look at that, the words just came. I already feel better having gotten this out and letting a few more tears fall.   

Heaf, I am at a loss for words. I am touched by your beautiful poems and it makes me happy to know that my angel was known by others too. She was very special. This part of your poem was just perfect and brought me to happy tears so I wanted you to know that.
"I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was gone
But you already knew
I had to go, He was calling me
And so my spirit flew "    ]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 14:01:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019284&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019284 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019225&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019225 Author: ALittleLoopy
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 1:25pm

oh bobby if you get a chance maybe this will help you get some emotions out...i know hes singing to his girl but it works for your lil one too, i couldnt help but think of you when listening and singing to my baby girl!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqjfvD-qbmw&feature=related]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 13:25:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019225&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019225 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019136&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019136 Author: TheKelly
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 12:17pm

those were beautiful Heaf, I really felt the love in them , pfft they are just as good, if not better than mine , I hope Bobsta feels loved when she reads them

I didn't love you very long
but I loved you from the start
the moment I saw the line
I knew you could break my heart
I could not dwell too much
on what that line would do
my life would be forever changed
that much I thought I knew
Life went on as life always does
and though deep down I had my fears
I prayed to God that things be ok
and in 9 months you would be here
When they told me you were gone
I felt like perhaps Id always known
but it didn't stop me wishing
for what the screen hadn't shown
And it didn't stop my heart
from breaking that black day
my hopes and dreams all dashed for you
It wasn't meant to be this way
And so without my wanting it
you went to a castle in the sky
where babies play with baby toys
that money can not buy
And I am left here wanting you
and trying to trust and understand
that the lord has a plan for me
and to have faith in his loving hand
But at times it is so hard
when all I want is YOU
and everything you represented
all the things we'll never do
Its times like this I must believe
although it feels like
it will never be ok
that I WILL have a baby here ,
and i'll hold them close one day
My angel baby knows whats best
and I know he will help God find
the perfect little soul for me
in body heart and mind
And when its time for the baby
to come and join us here
My angel will say goodbye for now
and kiss them with a tear
he   will love   his precious sibling briefly
but with all that he is worth ...
and then he'll send him down with a loving whisper
for my mum   to love ....on earth

Thats the one I wrote for Bobsta, but im putting it in here for everyone who has suffered the loss of an angel that touched their womb breifly but flew home too soon

Edited by TheKelly]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 12:17:34 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019136&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019136 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019118&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019118 Author: SnuggleBear
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 11:51am

hugs Bobsta, some days will be harder than others but i promise you'll get through it...meanwhile we're hear listening and being with you...

aww heaf those poems brought a tear to my eye and made me remember my own mc....beautiful, you have a gift

]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 11:51:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019118&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019118 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019096&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019096 Author: heaf3
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 11:26am

aww thanks you guys i hope bobsta likes them too!

i feel bad though to get praise for them, kelly's poems are way better than mine! ]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 11:26:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019096&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019096 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019084&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019084 Author: ALittleLoopy
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 11:19am

wow heaf!! you should write a poetry book!! they are great!]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 11:19:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019084&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019084 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019066&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019066 Author: Oxy
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 11:06am

Heaf

That was so thoughtful of you to write such a nice poem for Bobsta im sure she will like it

Edited by Oxy23]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 11:06:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019066&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019066 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019065&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019065 Author: LadyBee
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 11:06am

Wow heaf those poems are so beautiful ]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 11:06:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019065&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019065 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019049&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019049 Author: heaf3
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 10:53am

Bobsta i just had a go at writing a couple of poems for you too, i hope you dont mind. sorry if they are crap or make you feel sad again. but i just felt like i needed to write something.

first one:

I cant believe you’re gone,
its like you never left
But I’m sitting here alone,
feeling so bereft

People say they are sorry
but they don’t really know,
For the little time we spent together
how I love you so

It comforts me although you’re gone
I know you’re still around
Near to me, surrounding me
though you don’t make a sound.

There will always be a place for you
deep inside my heart
I will always be your mummy
even though we’re far apart

I just can’t understand
how could you leave me so?
I love you, I miss you
I’ll never let you go

You’re up in heaven now
watching over me,
Goodbye my little baby
Go now, be free.

and the other one:

I’m not quite ready yet mummy
Please let me go away
Once I am perfect
I will come back to stay

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was gone
But you already knew
I had to go, He was calling me
And so my spirit flew

I know it hurts you deeply
And I’m very sorry
But I will be back one day soon
So please try not to worry

God hasn’t finished me yet
He’s busy working away,
Making me all ready
So we can meet some day

I’ll come back to you
When the time is right
For now I’ll be here when you sleep
Hugging you all night

I know I’m not with you
Down there on the ground
I might be up in heaven now
But I will always be around

You say that I taught you something
Well you taught me something too
How you love me so very much
And I cant wait to be with you


sending more love hun xxxx]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 10:53:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1019049&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1019049 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1018952&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1018952 Author: lemongirl
Subject: 33229
Posted: 07 May 2010 at 9:48am

Bobsta, It's really natural to have good days and bad days. Just take them as they come.

After my D&C I put a huge amount of pressure on myself to feel fine and not wallow in my sadness when I wasn't feeling fine at all. Which in retrospect made things a whole lot worse over the long run.

I know this sounds corny but you have to give yourself time to just feel these emotions. I also found having small things (other than getting pregnant again) to look forward to every week a real helper to getting through bad days.]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 09:48:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33229&PID=1018952&title=the-tears-have-arrived#1018952