OHbaby! Forums : what do i do? https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Mon, 11 May 2026 19:54:00 +0000 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:27:56 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 11.10 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=31917 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[what do i do? : Is he attending a course on Saturday...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950712&title=what-do-i-do#950712 Author: jaz
Subject: 31917
Posted: 26 February 2010 at 11:27am

Is he attending a course on Saturday or just wanting to do assignment work? If its just course work then he could do that through the week. Otherwise perhaps consider 1-2 evenings a week from 4.30-6.30 or thereabouts and have him give her dinner and a bath. If you are amiable he could come to your house and do it while you go out. ]]> Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:27:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950712&title=what-do-i-do#950712 <![CDATA[what do i do? : It does not sound like he really...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950692&title=what-do-i-do#950692 Author: jazzy
Subject: 31917
Posted: 26 February 2010 at 11:17am

It does not sound like he really want to be a father. I guess I would ask him straight out. If he does then sit down & agree on days & times that suit you both. Your daughter need stability, if he is not prepared to put time in to his daughter then that say it all.
Hope he is paying child support.

Good luck & I hope you get the outcome you want ]]> Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:17:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950692&title=what-do-i-do#950692 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Can he not spend that time at...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950607&title=what-do-i-do#950607 Author: WRXnKids
Subject: 31917
Posted: 26 February 2010 at 10:18am

Can he not spend that time at your house and do her nighttime routine and leave when she is asleep or are you and him on rather strained terms?]]> Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:18:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950607&title=what-do-i-do#950607 <![CDATA[what do i do? : I was going to suggest saturdays...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950565&title=what-do-i-do#950565 Author: Nikki
Subject: 31917
Posted: 26 February 2010 at 9:45am

I was going to suggest saturdays too, and he studies in the evening. Perhaps you could offer half of sat giving him the rest of the day to study, or say you are ok with mondays as long as she is home by 7pm (bathed and in pjs), and leave it with him. If he is slack then maybe it will work out good for you as he won't bother (not so great for your daughter long term though). I hope it all works out for you. ]]> Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:45:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950565&title=what-do-i-do#950565 <![CDATA[what do i do? : No advice just want to give you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950492&title=what-do-i-do#950492 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 31917
Posted: 26 February 2010 at 9:04am

No advice just want to give you hugs......]]> Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:04:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950492&title=what-do-i-do#950492 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Shezzey wrote: Bizzy wrote: yes...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950465&title=what-do-i-do#950465 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 31917
Posted: 26 February 2010 at 8:50am

Originally posted by Shezzey Shezzey wrote:

Originally posted by Bizzy Bizzy wrote:


yes but that might go against her if he decided to get an official access agreement put into place. 


Wouldn't that be a good thing?  I dont know anything about official access agreements, but I imagine it would allow access at set days and times?



yes an official access agreement is a good idea. i was meaning that if she decides to deny him access now then it may go against her if he decides to go through the courts for access.]]> Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:50:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950465&title=what-do-i-do#950465 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Bizzy wrote:yes but that might...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950354&title=what-do-i-do#950354 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 11:36pm

Originally posted by Bizzy Bizzy wrote:


yes but that might go against her if he decided to get an official access agreement put into place. 

Wouldn't that be a good thing?  I dont know anything about official access agreements, but I imagine it would allow access at set days and times?

]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:36:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950354&title=what-do-i-do#950354 <![CDATA[what do i do? : oh and if he is going to feed...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950341&title=what-do-i-do#950341 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 11:06pm

oh and if he is going to feed her dinner and bath her and deliver her in pj's then it might just work in your favour after all...]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:06:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950341&title=what-do-i-do#950341 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Shezzey wrote:I was thinking...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950340&title=what-do-i-do#950340 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 11:04pm

Originally posted by Shezzey Shezzey wrote:

I was thinking maybe if you tell him he can't get to take her until he gets his priorities sorted out,  he will be more keen to see her... you know the reverse pschology thing??



yes but that might go against her if he decided to get an official access agreement put into place.

which is something that maybe you should look at. then you can put rules in place about ho much notice before changing plans etc...]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:04:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950340&title=what-do-i-do#950340 <![CDATA[what do i do? : I was thinking maybe if you tell...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950334&title=what-do-i-do#950334 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 10:55pm

I was thinking maybe if you tell him he can't get to take her until he gets his priorities sorted out,  he will be more keen to see her... you know the reverse pschology thing??

]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:55:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950334&title=what-do-i-do#950334 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Chonni... that is so shocking...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950331&title=what-do-i-do#950331 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 10:52pm

Chonni... that is so shocking that he avoids having his gorgeous daughter... he should be castrated!!  ... she is part of his flesh and blood and family and he doesnt have time for her... selfish pr*ck grrrr

Maybe it would be a good thing if he didn't get to take your daughter because if he lies and is behaving the way he does now, he won't be a good example for her.

]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:52:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950331&title=what-do-i-do#950331 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Shezzey wrote:I am wondering...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950303&title=what-do-i-do#950303 Author: chonni
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 10:26pm

Originally posted by Shezzey Shezzey wrote:

I am wondering why he can't study on the Tuesdays and have his daughter on Saturday at a reasonable time?



thats what i told him but he hasnt responded to it yet, their should be no reason, pluss he hardly ever goes to class a course that was only ment to take 6 months has taken him 2 years!. i know its a tough job market but he told me he got offerd two jobs but he took this one. i just dont know if hes telling the truth as well because most of the time he lies about anything just so he wont have to have her.]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:26:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950303&title=what-do-i-do#950303 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Peanut wrote:Thats a good idea,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950295&title=what-do-i-do#950295 Author: peanut butter
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 10:21pm

Originally posted by Peanut Peanut wrote:

Thats a good idea, NZpiper. Your not just a pretty face


thank you ]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:21:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950295&title=what-do-i-do#950295 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Umm.. I mean the Mondays... i...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950289&title=what-do-i-do#950289 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 10:14pm

Umm.. I mean the Mondays... i am tired now too

]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:14:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950289&title=what-do-i-do#950289 <![CDATA[what do i do? : I am wondering why he can&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950287&title=what-do-i-do#950287 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 10:13pm

I am wondering why he can't study on the Tuesdays and have his daughter on Saturday at a reasonable time?

]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:13:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950287&title=what-do-i-do#950287 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Thats a good idea, NZpiper. Your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950279&title=what-do-i-do#950279 Author: Peanut
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 10:08pm

Thats a good idea, NZpiper. Your not just a pretty face ]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:08:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950279&title=what-do-i-do#950279 <![CDATA[what do i do? : would she be ok to stay the night...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950255&title=what-do-i-do#950255 Author: peanut butter
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 9:49pm

would she be ok to stay the night with him and you pick her up or he drops her off or at daycare (whatever you do) on Tuesday?]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:49:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950255&title=what-do-i-do#950255 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Hmm it&#039;s a tough one, but...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950253&title=what-do-i-do#950253 Author: emz
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 9:48pm

Hmm it's a tough one, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt for a while. It is a hard job market out there so it may have been the only one he could get.

Could he do 2 x2 hour sessions during the week insead of 4 hours in a block on a Monday? Then she would be home by 6.30 and you could do the night-time routine. Just a thought]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:48:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950253&title=what-do-i-do#950253 <![CDATA[what do i do? : Can&#039;t give you any advice...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950229&title=what-do-i-do#950229 Author: HoneybunsMa
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 9:34pm

Can't give you any advice on the day situation fair enough he should have talked to you about the job and changing days BUT in saying that it is a sht job market out there still. Don't know your exes situation in respect to work but in our case DP has been looking for AGES and there are jobs that he is more then capable in doing and he has really good experience etc but hasn't gotten jack. Just food for thought on him getting a new job.

]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:34:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950229&title=what-do-i-do#950229 <![CDATA[what do i do? : since i split up with milas dad...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950220&title=what-do-i-do#950220 Author: chonni
Subject: 31917
Posted: 25 February 2010 at 9:26pm

since i split up with milas dad he has always had her for the day on a sunday ( not always reliable) but just today he told me he needed to talk about his days with her, apparently he has excepted a job and has to work on sundays, i think he should have made sure with me he could swap before taking it, and he says he cant have her on sats because he wants to study. he wants to take her on a monday from 4.30 till 8.30pm, but i just dont think that thats ok for a 2 year old to be left awake that long, then it will take me a good 30mins or more to get her to sleep after that. i just dont know what to do, my mum says to leave it and not let him have her because if he really wanted her he should not of got that job in the first place. any advise would be good, sorry if this makes no sence lol, bit tired haha]]> Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:26:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31917&PID=950220&title=what-do-i-do#950220