OHbaby! Forums : To introduce myself and tell my story https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sun, 17 May 2026 15:38:26 +0000 Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:00:40 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 11.10 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=31035 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thank you for sharing your story....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=912308&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#912308 Author: febbabe
Subject: 31035
Posted: 26 January 2010 at 9:00pm

Thank you for sharing your story. What a brave woman you are. A close friend lost twins at 20weeks last year and I realise now its going to be a long road for her.
My daughter is also Elisabeth and I know how lucky we are to have her
]]> Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:00:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=912308&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#912308 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thank you so much for sharing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=912216&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#912216 Author: salz
Subject: 31035
Posted: 26 January 2010 at 8:10pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I just can't imagine what that heartbreak must be like. A close family friend lost her little boy at 21 weeks the exact same reason as you did with Elisabeth with developing an infection and having to give birth to the baby. I will tell her of your story hoping it may help her to know someone else has gone thru that. You just feel so helpless.]]> Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:10:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=912216&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#912216 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thank you for sharing your story....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=906587&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#906587 Author: BeLoved
Subject: 31035
Posted: 22 January 2010 at 8:41pm

Thank you for sharing your story. Its so sad to read that what you have gone through, but I am also in awe of the strength that you possess and taking your time to share your story with all of us. ]]> Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:41:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=906587&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#906587 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thanks for sharing your story,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=904169&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#904169 Author: shadowfeet
Subject: 31035
Posted: 20 January 2010 at 11:37pm

Thanks for sharing your story, you've gone through a lot  

]]> Wed, 20 Jan 2010 23:37:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=904169&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#904169 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Wow what an amazing mummy you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903937&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903937 Author: nictoddie
Subject: 31035
Posted: 20 January 2010 at 8:18pm

Wow what an amazing mummy you are........... bless you and your family, he is the luckiest boy to have you as his mummy xxx ]]> Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:18:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903937&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903937 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thank you for sharing with us...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903467&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903467 Author: MummyFreckle
Subject: 31035
Posted: 20 January 2010 at 2:23pm

Thank you for sharing with us Jody

I feel privilidged to be able to "know" such incredibly strong women via this forum.

]]> Wed, 20 Jan 2010 14:23:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903467&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903467 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Unchained Melody was playing on...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903460&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903460 Author: Chickoin
Subject: 31035
Posted: 20 January 2010 at 2:12pm

Unchained Melody was playing on the radio as I read your story, took a long time to read through the tears! I absolutely admire your and Dh's strength. I am so happy you were brave enough to go through a third pregnancy so you were blessed with Joseph. I think it's wonderful you can imagine Ally and Elisabeth growing up and also being around your family.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Jody

ETA I hope my Jody can grow up to be as strong as you

Edited by Chickoin]]> Wed, 20 Jan 2010 14:12:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903460&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903460 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : you are a brave woman Jody......]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903313&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903313 Author: Huggles
Subject: 31035
Posted: 20 January 2010 at 11:43am

you are a brave woman Jody... thanks for sharing. you are an inspiration to all of us... ]]> Wed, 20 Jan 2010 11:43:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903313&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903313 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thank you so much for sharing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903047&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903047 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 31035
Posted: 20 January 2010 at 8:31am

Thank you so much for sharing your story. What incredible strength you have. ]]> Wed, 20 Jan 2010 08:31:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=903047&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#903047 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thanks again everyone. It really...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902951&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902951 Author: JodyR
Subject: 31035
Posted: 20 January 2010 at 3:38am

Thanks again everyone. It really is a priviledge to be able to tell our story and have people who've never even met us care about us and our babies.

Just to have people know their names and understand that they were here in the world, even so briefly, is a comfort to us.

I know I told my story in a matter of fact way, that's the story I can tell without the tears now. The story that makes me cry is the one where I tell people how my pregnancy with Ally made me realise just how much I wanted to be a mum after years of thinking that kids weren't for me. And how we were so excited that he was on the way and we were making a change to both family trees, adding in this new little person that we had made. Or how when Elisabeth was born at 22+3 she looked like one of those porcelain dolls, so tiny and delicate, but she opened her mouth and waved her fists like a fighter and she fought so hard for her life. I could just see her as this delicate little girl who was also the toughest kid in school. I can picture Ally as he would be in his teens or early twenties, off at university, very sporty, tall with red hair. And very protective of his younger sister and brother, Elisabeth getting ready to go to uni to study something to do with animals, maybe a vet. Who knows what Joseph will be but I know he has the very best of his older brother and sister in him and we are so proud and happy to have him.

Emiloly sorry to have made you cry again but thank you for caring so much.   And thanks again everyone for being kind enough to reply.]]> Wed, 20 Jan 2010 03:38:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902951&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902951 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902871&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902871 Author: crakars
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 10:15pm

]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:15:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902871&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902871 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Wow, what a long road you and...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902638&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902638 Author: Red
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 7:49pm

Wow, what a long road you and your DH have had. Thank you for sharing your story. ]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:49:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902638&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902638 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thank you for sharing your story...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902599&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902599 Author: babyg
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 7:24pm

Thank you for sharing your story with us May your little boy bless you forever, and may his siblings forever watch over him.

A lovely couple in my AN class lost their first two babies late in each pregnancy before going on to have a premature but healthy little boy. I think about them and their beautiful babies often and how incredibly strong they must be.

Edited by babyg]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:24:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902599&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902599 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Gosh what an awful time you have...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902574&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902574 Author: pikelets
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 6:58pm

Gosh what an awful time you have had! I dont know what to say but
]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:58:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902574&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902574 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : omg no words can really express...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902095&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902095 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 1:06pm

omg no words can really express what i want to say so ]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:06:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902095&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902095 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Wow. Thank you so much for sharing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902054&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902054 Author: emz
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 12:44pm

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story, you are an amazingly strong couple to have been through that and gone on to have your wee boy Joseph.

I am so sorry you ever had to go through that. I can't possibly comprehend it but thank you for sharing it with us. ]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:44:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=902054&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#902054 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : What a heartbreaking story and...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901870&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901870 Author: Katep
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 10:48am

What a heartbreaking story and you write so well Jody. Thankyou for sharing your story, it reminds me how truly blessed I am to have my daughter, I will hug her tight today. ]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:48:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901870&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901870 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : People like you and your husband...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901794&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901794 Author: ?Lolly?
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 10:03am

People like you and your husband amaze me. I have no idea how you find the strength to pick yourself up and move on. Thank you for sharing your story with us (yes, I'm crying again.)]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:03:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901794&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901794 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Oh my goodness What a strong...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901698&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901698 Author: clover
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 8:50am

Oh my goodness

What a strong woman you are!]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 08:50:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901698&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901698 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thanks everyone. It&#039;s good...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901694&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901694 Author: JodyR
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 8:49am

Thanks everyone. It's good to be able to tell our story knowing that people care and that perhaps others who have been through the experience might feel not so alone. When it happened to us I felt like I was the only person it had happened to, so finding support on-line was both a relief and an eye-opener to me. It was good to know I wasn't alone, heartbreaking to realise how common losing a child is. I like to think Ally and Elisabeth are watching over Joseph, already I show him the two brightest stars in the sky and tell him that they are there to keep him safe.]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 08:49:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901694&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901694 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Thank you for sharing your story...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901677&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901677 Author: MrsH23
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 8:41am

   Thank you for sharing your story

]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 08:41:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901677&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901677 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : I am so sorry for your losses,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901666&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901666 Author: FreeSpirit
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 8:35am

I am so sorry for your losses, no words can describe the strength I feel it must have taken for you to survive such heartache with your sanity intact. Thanks be to the higher power for giving you a healthy baby to focus on now - I know my daughter gives me focus that makes the pain of loss not quite so sharp.]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 08:35:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901666&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901666 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901634&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901634 Author: peanut butter
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 8:16am

]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 08:16:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901634&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901634 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : Jody, thanks for sharing your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901591&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901591 Author: NikkiB
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 6:55am

Jody, thanks for sharing your story. I'm so pleased you have Joseph in your life. May your two little angels look out for him. ]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 06:55:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901591&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901591 <![CDATA[To introduce myself and tell my story : I&#039;m Jody and for the next...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901567&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901567 Author: JodyR
Subject: 31035
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 3:21am

I'm Jody and for the next few days I am still 34 years old, I'm married and have a nine month old boy, our third baby.

In September 2006 we found out that we were unexpectedly going to have a baby. We hadn't been trying and I was on the pill but somehow after a few days of feeling very ill I had a weird feeling that I was pregnant and did a test.

It was positive and I felt more shocked than pleased at first. My husband was working away for the week so I was on my own and I got ready and went to work in a bit of a daze. I worked for an estate agent and we were buying a house ourselves so when I met the colleague who was also sorting out our mortgage and she asked me how I was I just blurted out "Pregnant!"

After saying it out loud the shock started to wear off and I started to feel pleased, had the appointment at the doctors to confirm it, told Andrew and then our parents and everyone was pleased and excited.

Because I had been on the pill they gave me an early scan to date the pregnancy at set it at eight weeks. Our baby was due in May, on my Dad's birthday.

We moved house at the end of October, back to our hometown and this delayed my next scan, so I didn't get one at 12 weeks, it was at 15 weeks. The woman who did the scan was rude and abrupt to me and she put my dates back by three weeks. When I told her I thought she was wrong she became even more rude but did amend her estimate to just two weeks back. To this day I am still sure she was wrong.

I'd seen scans before but not really understood at what point they were done. My baby didn't look like the babies on the other scans I had seen but I thought it was too early in my pregnancy. I didn't know that at 12 weeks a baby looks fully formed on a normal scan, mine just looked like twisted ropes and a fuzzy blob. But the woman who did the scan seemed satisified so I trusted her as the expect.

Seven weeks later, at what they called my 20 week scan but I think was 22 weeks, my baby had died.

I hadn't had any pain or bleeding, no sign at all that something was wrong. They called it a late missed miscarriage but because I had to go into hospital two days later, have them do a sweep to start labour and then give birth to my boy after a nine-hour labour I tell people he was stillborn. I feel it more accurately describes what happened to us.

Our little boy was born on 27th January and it was the best and worst day. We were so heartbroken but still excited to meet our baby. We chose not to have a postmortem because our doctor said that even with one we would probably be in the 75% of parents who just don't get a reason for why their baby died this way. We decided that our baby had been through enough and we wanted him to be left in peace.

We decided to try again after the three months we had been advised to wait. Three months after that we had our BFP for our daughter Elisabeth.

This time we were very excited but also scared and my doctor at the hospital was amazing. We were given no reason to think anything would go wrong but at 20 weeks we were involved in a car accident, a lorry hit the back of our car while we were stopped at a red light. For two weeks I felt in pain and very stressed and kept being assured by the doctor that the baby was fine. Two weeks to the day of the accident I started bleeding and went to hospital at exactly 22 weeks into my pregnancy.

At first they were very positive but an internal examination showed my cervix was open 1-2cm and they started to get a bit more serious. My husband was called to come home (his ship was based 250 miles away from where we live and he was only coming home at weekends) and I was told I had to stay in bed. By the time my husband arrived at the hospital my cervix had opened further and they were deciding that bed rest wasn't good enough. They wanted to try a cervical stitch.

The following morning, Friday 14th December, I was assessed again and they decided the stitch had to go in. I was taken to theatre and after a short operation, just half an hour, I was told that it wasn't successful, my cervix was opening and the sac was bulging down into it, they couldn't force it closed again or push everything back for fear of breaking my waters.

I was taken back to my room and told that the only thing now was bedrest in the hospital and hoping that I could get to 24 weeks. Anything after that was a bonus.

Half an hour later I told Andrew to ask if the nurse could bring me a bedpan because I kept coughing and leaking urine. I even said I could smell it.

When she came in she asked if I had felt a trickle or a gush and I knew then she thought my waters had broken. I said it was just little bursts when I coughed and she said I'd know if it was my waters because they gush out. I felt relieved for a second until she added "and you would have been able to smell them." I looked at Andrew and we both knew then they had gone. The doctor confirmed it shortly afterwards.

It was just after that that I started to complain of feeling hot and thirsty and asking for the radiator to be turned off and the window opened. Andrew told me later it was freezing in my room by the time they had done that but I kept on complaining about the heat. The nurses brought a fan and all of a sudden there were a lot more bags on my drip, which were antibiotics and something to rehydrate me.

We knew it was bad, we started to get lots of visits from doctors and the nurses never seemed to leave my room. They kept taking blood samples and my temperature, told me I was tachycardic, which scared me because when that happens on TV they always get those electric shock paddles out but they explained it was just a change to my heartrate.

Through all this I could feel my poor baby still moving and kicking and I was desperate to keep her safe (although we didn't know she was a girl then) and so scared for her.

By the next morning they had the results of my blood tests back, I had an infection that had reached my placenta and was poisoning us both,

They immediately stopped trying to keep our baby inside me and started to concentrate on getting her out. We were rushed up to the delivery suite, the same room where we had our son not quite eleven months before. They started me off in labour again and I was there for about 14 hours before our daughter was born at just after midnight on Sunday 16th December. She was perfect in every way and survived for just over two hours before the fight just got too much for her.

I was ill for awhile after her birth but six months later we were allowed to TTC again and just over a month later I was pregnant for the third time. I'd read so much, worked out my ovulation calendar and paid so much attention to my body that I knew the day we conceived him that I would get pregnant if we tried that day, TMI but my breasts were so sensitive that it gave me a very big clue. A couple of weeks later I was getting all the signs (biggest one being that the thought of a bacon sandwich made me sick) and a positive test confirmed it.

I had to have another cervical stitch put in place at about 14 weeks and they took it out around 37 weeks. Those were scary times but apart from a nasty case of indigestion pretty much the whole way through the pregnancy everything else went well. Joseph arrived three days before his due date, my waters broke while I was using the toilet at 8am, so he was very organised. It was a long labour, he didn't arrive until 2am the following day and only then because they used forceps and gave me an epiostomy (sp?), but he's here and he's healthy and that's all I could have asked for.

We don't think we will try again but we have our son and feel like we are lucky. We will never get over losing our first two children but we are blessed to have Joseph and can't imagine life without him now.

Anyway, this is long so if you read this far thank you. I just wanted to tell my story and offer my support to anyone going through a loss themselves. It's not something that ends once the baby is born, grief is an ongoing emotion that never leaves you but it helps to know that others can empathise through their own experiences. Thanks again for listening.



Edited by JodyR]]> Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:21:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31035&PID=901567&title=to-introduce-myself-and-tell-my-story#901567