hahahaha this has made my day , sooooo funny

I remember being keeled over the couch at my house before going to the hospital , having full on contractions. the tv was on and i remember mum rambling on to me about Rachel Ray and something to do with her hair .... l went balistic and said in a very loud voice "i dont give a flying f**k about Rachel Ray, im in pain here"!!!!! bahaha i felt a bit bad afterwards but seriously ... Rachel ray!!!! I always think of it now whenever its on tv lol.

My best friend was also my midwife so i guess it was a bit embarrasing having your best friend perform a stretch and sweep on you , but then again it was pretty cool that my best friend deliverd my baby!!!

This thread is always good for a giggle .

Once again, with DD's birth my embarrassing moment happened during stitching of my tear - not during labour itself.  I had a home waterbirth, which went well but I did get a 2nd degree tear.  My two lovely homebirth midwives were both suffering a bit of sleep deprivation, having attended three other births during the 24 hrs before my labour.  So they weren't doing the greatest job at explaining what was going to happen.  I was lying on the bed, waiting for my MW to start stitching me up, when she suddenly hands me two combs and asks me to hold one in each hand and press them into my palms rhythmically.  I freaked out a little and asked "Hang on a minute - this isn't the part where you tell me you're into natural stitching without anaesthetic is it?" (as she is a pretty staunch homebirth MW, into natural birth/drug-free labour etc).  They cracked up laughing and she apologised - she said it was just to take my mind off the stinging sensation when she administered the local anaesthetic ....I thought "phew, thank god for that!"

But even more embarrassingly, just before she started stitching I felt the uncontrollable urge to fart.  So I warned my MW, and the backup MW giggled and said "You shouldn't have told her, that would be more funny".  Then my MW said "Don't worry, one of my clients in Aussie farted at least 10 times while I was stitching her" ..... and yep, you guessed it - I proceeded to fart at least that many times myself!   .  I kept warning them, and every time the backup would say "STOP warning her" then we'd all giggle, more so each time, which obviously wasn't the best when attempting to lie still as there was important surgery underway   .

I yelled out in the middle of pushing that I was going to poo. I told mum this afterwards and got the its normal blah blah blah. I was like yeah I know that I just thought I would put it out there before it happened.

For some reason DP thought it would be good to get the camera while I was still pushing and I told him he better not fkn take any pictures.

I also told him that if we had anymore kids he was pushing them out.

Told the mw she was mean because she wanted me to go for a walk while I was having contractions to progress further.

My mw left us at the hospital as I wasn't progressing fast enough and she decided to do some home visits after giving me a shot of pethidine that was meant to make me go to sleep... Yeah right that was a load of crap it made the contractions come on faster. I got on the bed somehow on my hands and knees and started yelling at DP that I wanted to die. Then I got wheeled through a corridor that was usually crowded with people that had noone in there miraculously while having contractions how fun that was.

Flissty wrote: Chickoin wrote: I remember someone telling me years ago that if you want to know what childbirth feels like you can put a finger in each cheek and pull your lips open as hard as you possably can. Ok, just tried this. Thank goodness I had an epi is all I can say.

Me too...and me too!!!!

Hehehe...I managed to cover both the OB and the student OB in blood as Joel was born...the student had on crocs and no socks and it went all through her shoes! Everyone else in the room thought it was incredibly funny and I remember her just standing staring at her feet...lucky she remembered to catch the baby!!

My funniest moment (there were not very many of them during my labour)...was after Oli was born and they were stitching me up. The registrar was doing it,  and because of the epi I couldnt feel a thing - I didnt even realise that I had been cut until that stage! Anyhow - she was stiching me up when I hear her curse, then someone asking me to sign a form to state that I didnt mind being tested for HIV? It seems that whilst sewing me up, I (okay - my vagina!) squirted blood into the registrars eye!!!!!!! I was too mesmorised by my new baby to really notice - but in hindsight its pretty funny!!!

They are always really good about leaving the doors open for everybody to look in as they walk past......and we ALL look in the open doors don't we!!!!

I've only read the first page. it's too much Ryans looking at me cause i'm bawling but cracking up at the same time.

I just have to say. I spent most of the time on the loo. and while i had pushed out ryans head and was waiting for the net contraction I burst into saying I couln't do it anymore.

And after he was out my MW said I have to numb you so I can stitch you up. Me being a total wuss when it comes to needles,( yes I can push a baby out wit no drugs but can't have a blood test) I started crying and screaming in pain for this blimmin little injsection. Everyone in the room turned around and looked at me and was like is there another one in there.