OHbaby! Forums : What No one told you about Birth & Babies

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Good luck Bella15 for the next...

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:17:48 +0000

Author: Lillybetts
Subject: 15630
Posted: 09�March�2011 at 2:17pm

Good luck Bella15 for the next 5 weeks. Rest as much as you can as you will be quite tired when bubs comes. Also, be prepared not to do anything. I found that having a shower was a huge acomplishment in those first few weeks with baby. Just take it easy and make sure you have you time or time with just you and your partner. Cause time goes so fast that the day will be over when it feels like it just started.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Wow, There's alot of good...

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:03:50 +0000

Author: MissyMaddieMoo
Subject: 15630
Posted: 09�March�2011 at 12:03pm

Wow, There's alot of good advice posted on here that I would never have thought of such as keeping records of babies routines, bringing your own SOFT toliet paper with you to the hospital etc.

I am 35 weeks pregnant and I thought from all the pregnant woman you pass you think being pregnant itself was bliss.

But no one explained the achy bones/joints I would get at night or morning as well as the achy pubic bone when you walk.

I was told to take it easy during the last month or so before your 'due date' as you will tire easy but never thought I would feel absolutely exhausted lol Sorry may sound like I am moaning.

Anyway, really loving all the great advice. Please keep it coming no matter how small it may seem, it really does help us first timers to realise what is ahead....good and bad

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No one told me that it's...

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:30:41 +0000

Author: jano1
Subject: 15630
Posted: 23�February�2011 at 8:30pm

No one told me that it's normal for babies to fight sleep during the day...for hours on end....even when they need to (and you really want them to). Haven't they read the books?

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : i think if i could go back and...

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 23:55:54 +0000

Author: fran_iam
Subject: 15630
Posted: 21�February�2011 at 11:55pm

i think if i could go back and talk to the pregnant me I would point out that the birth is not what i need to be worrying about - your body will birth the baby almost in spite of you.
it's afterwards - the strong emotions, the greatly changed relationship dynamic with hubby & friends, breastfeeding and sleep deprivation and the vulnerable, dependant lo!!
that and don't listen to the midwife - use your breastpump as soon as you're ready

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No one told me about growth spurts!...

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 08:45:59 +0000

Author: Lillybetts
Subject: 15630
Posted: 21�February�2011 at 8:45am

No one told me about growth spurts! I had 48 hours (straight) of DD waking every 40-60 minutes feeding. She literally didn't sleep for more than 60 minutes at a time. She finally broke on Christmas day and did a 4 1/2 hour sleep! It was bliss! But be prepared to be emotional and a bit low.

I never expected to be that emotional. For the first 4 or so weeks EVERY single night I would burst into tears around 4-6pm (apparently the cluster feeding time. And that can make you a tad emotional). Make sure you have a supportive person around you to help in those cluster feeding times. And even just to hold you while you cry (for no reason :P)- My husband learnt to stop asking what was wrong and what was making me upset - As most of the time I didn't know and that would make me more distressed haha.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : edit: posted in the wrong thread!Edited...

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 08:41:35 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 15630
Posted: 17�February�2011 at 8:41am

edit: posted in the wrong thread!

Edited by bowie

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No one told me/ taught me how...

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 15:39:04 +0000

Author: Kmaree
Subject: 15630
Posted: 16�February�2011 at 3:39pm

No one told me/ taught me how to wind my baby properly - and that it would take up to 30 minutes to bring it up!!! If you don't do it you get a very grizzly baby!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Oh and also noone tells you that...

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 21:22:08 +0000

Author: Lexidore
Subject: 15630
Posted: 13�February�2011 at 9:22pm

Oh and also noone tells you that you may have some anxiety. I gave up sleeping when the baby was sleeping because I would wake up absolutely freaking out if the baby didn't wake me up first!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : MummyFreckle wrote:Nobody told...

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 21:17:23 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 15630
Posted: 13�February�2011 at 9:17pm

MummyFreckle wrote:

Nobody told me that when getting an episiotomy they would "nick" my babies head so he came out with a cut head from the scissors!!

or just below my babies eye during a c section

oh and mummy freckle - my little one loves baking - Id love to bring you some !

Edited by Raspberryjam

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Nobody told me that even if BM's...

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 21:11:19 +0000

Author: Lexidore
Subject: 15630
Posted: 13�February�2011 at 9:11pm

Nobody told me that even if BM's came fine for the first few days it could become really bad for a couple of weeks later!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Oh my god, I've learnt sooo...

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 15:50:36 +0000

Author: kate30
Subject: 15630
Posted: 13�February�2011 at 3:50pm

Oh my god, I've learnt sooo much in the last 15 minutes from reading this thread! Thanks ladies! (Although some of it is rather scary!)

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Nobody told me that when I thought...

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 23:11:38 +0000

Author: Raspberryjam
Subject: 15630
Posted: 11�February�2011 at 11:11pm

Nobody told me that when I thought I loved them more than anythng else in the world, just a smile could make me fall in love all over again

Nobody told me that there are just some things you cant learn until your a mum, and even then I wouldnt have understood

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : QTMum wrote:Mummy Freckle you...

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 08:26:56 +0000

Author: MummyFreckle
Subject: 15630
Posted: 10�February�2011 at 8:26am

QTMum wrote:

Mummy Freckle you are so right! Try not to take it personally though. People really do offer with the best intentions but they don�t always come through.

Ahh i was fine - I just got annoyed at everyone telling me that I would get lots of meals delivered etc after the birth and that never happened!!! I was looking forward to not having to cook!!!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : haha, I always would just say...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 22:55:50 +0000

Author: mum2paris
Subject: 15630
Posted: 09�February�2011 at 10:55pm

haha, I always would just say "Oh great, I was just thinking that I'd like a drink.. Milo please" lol

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Mummy Freckle you are so right!...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 22:25:15 +0000

Author: QTMum
Subject: 15630
Posted: 09�February�2011 at 10:25pm

Mummy Freckle you are so right! Try not to take it personally though. People really do offer with the best intentions but they don�t always come through.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No-one told me that during a growth...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 12:57:02 +0000

Author: luvmylittlies
Subject: 15630
Posted: 09�February�2011 at 12:57pm

No-one told me that during a growth spurt your baby would suck on you non-stop for 4 hours at a time. By the time this happened for the 3rd time I was fine with it and had all the TV remotes in hand, water bottle and food within reach and just relaxed. But the first few times I was sure it was something going wrong.

Oh and RuthyH I totally agree about the books. I think people should skim them for ideas whilst they're UTD then get rid of them before baby is born. Honestly they seemed designed to make you feel incompetent.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No one told me that although people...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 10:51:15 +0000

Author: MummyFreckle
Subject: 15630
Posted: 09�February�2011 at 10:51am

No one told me that although people promise to help after baby arrives the reality is often they dont. Coming over to see the baby empty handed is not helping. A meal, some baking, hanging my washing out.......anything like that would have helped. Dont be dissappointed if it doesnt happen!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Some great tips on here. My big...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 09:22:05 +0000

Author: RuthyH
Subject: 15630
Posted: 09�February�2011 at 9:22am

Some great tips on here. My big learnings I'd like to share:

- Baby books should come with a health warning. If you find yourself more upset after reading some advice in a book throw it away and forget about it. For some reason the writers of these books have the ability to make it sound as though if you don't follow their advice exactly you only have yourself to blame for anything that goes wrong. There's only one of you and one of your baby, take advice that is genuinely useful and throw the rest away.

- Pregnancy is not great for your health. The number of strange afflictions I have hear about after having a baby is astonishing. The hormones themselves are crazy. So if you have any weird ailments talk to someone about them.

- Insomnia is very common after having a baby, and not just cos the baby is keeping you up. If it goes on for a long time it can (and did in my case) lead to post natal depression. So ask for help and if you have to stop breast feeding to take sleeping pills just do it and don't beat yourself up about it.

- Plunket are great in so many ways but they seem to excel at giving you a guilt trip. Especially about breast feeding. Remember that generally while they might be experts most of them have not had a baby in their care for a good long time and they find it very easy to give advice without any notion of just how hard it is to follow!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Nobody told me about the 2nd night...

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 14:45:00 +0000

Author: chocol8
Subject: 15630
Posted: 15�January�2011 at 2:45pm

Nobody told me about the 2nd night blues - and nobody told me about the 2nd night blues until AFTER my 2nd night blues.

FYI this is apparently when baby realises that it's not safe in the womb anymore and cries and cries and cries. All night. That was my 3rd night in a row with no sleep .

On the upside, nobody told me how generous some people are to you when you have a baby, often from people you least expect.

Edited by _Rilla_

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Nobody told me that when getting...

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 21:11:05 +0000

Author: MummyFreckle
Subject: 15630
Posted: 14�January�2011 at 9:11pm

Nobody told me that when getting an episiotomy they would "nick" my babies head so he came out with a cut head from the scissors!!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : MamaT wrote:No one told me...

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 20:41:57 +0000

Author: peachy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 14�January�2011 at 8:41pm

MamaT wrote:

No one told me that when you deliver by ventouse you still have to push, and it is incredibly hard work.

No one told me that when you deliver by ventouse your baby will end up with one hell of a bruise.

.

I totally agree with you here, hence the fact this time on my birth plan will be ABSOLUTELY NO VENTOUSE DELIVERY, wheel me down for a c section thank you very much. It was bloody awful and my poor DD had no skin on her head and a massive bruise where the suction cup was

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No one told me that when you deliver...

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 19:22:58 +0000

Author: MamaT
Subject: 15630
Posted: 14�January�2011 at 7:22pm

No one told me that when you deliver by ventouse you still have to push, and it is incredibly hard work.

No one told me that when you deliver by ventouse your baby will end up with one hell of a bruise.

No one told me that your baby may well not sleep for 24hours after birth, that he may in fact cry, grizzle, scream, drink continously for those 24hours.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Thanks MummyFreckle, excellent...

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 21:48:29 +0000

Author: High9
Subject: 15630
Posted: 13�January�2011 at 9:48pm

Thanks MummyFreckle, excellent to know!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No one told me about the shocking...

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 19:33:45 +0000

Author: LJsmum
Subject: 15630
Posted: 13�January�2011 at 7:33pm

No one told me about the shocking after pains that happen with 2nd or more babies. The pains were unreal! The 1st day or 2nd day after birth.

No one told me that you can get so tired and exhausted that you can't function or focus and start to hullunicate(sp?). Very scary. But luckly was in hospital so was o.k.

No one told me about low estrogen, that some woman get this after birth and it's like early menapause! but it's not. Hormones are are a bit crazy! but it does get back to normal!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Lil_Nic9 wrote:No one told...

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 08:06:20 +0000

Author: MummyFreckle
Subject: 15630
Posted: 13�January�2011 at 8:06am

Lil_Nic9 wrote:

No one told me that my partner may be kicked out... He barely got a look in at the baby when she was born because she came late at night and when I went to postnatal the mw's/nurses asked him to leave because I needed to rest... (I didn't sleep), and the next 2 days it was jut visitors galore and DP was always asked to leave by the nurses? Why... Is it because we were young? Unmarried? What?! Other's certainly didn't get the same treatment!

Under the health & disability act - the patient rights enable you to have a support person with you at all times (except in theatre or clinical risk areas).

You will have the right to:

always be treated with respect
not be discriminated against, pressured or taken advantage of
services that promote dignified and independent lives
be treated with care and skill and receive correctly administered treatment
medical staff who listen to you and communicate clearly
an interpreter if required
a clear explanation of your medical condition and the types of treatment available
an honest description of the risks and costs as well as the benefits of proposed treatment
ask questions and receive competent answers
make your own decisions
change your mind if you have already said yes or no to a course of treatment
refuse to participate in teaching or research
have a support person present at most times
register a complaint.

I think its really important to know these rights - especially if you are younger, dont be afraid to "push back" on nurses and midwives at the hospital / birthcare, they do their best, but at the end of the day you are entitled to make your own choices.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No one told me that my tummy would...

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 22:29:51 +0000

Author: High9
Subject: 15630
Posted: 12�January�2011 at 10:29pm

No one told me that my tummy would still be swollen after the birth and look like a deflated beach ball (that was probably one of the only things I never thought about and I remember showering after the birth and catching sight of myself in the mirror and feeling quite down and thinking the hard part comes now and 'wow no one told me I'd look like that!')

No one told me that if you got cut or tore down there (I tore) that the scar would hurt for ages of that sometimes your stitches don't dissolve and you scar over them or they dissolve too quickly before you can heal (both happened to me and it took about 5 months for it to stop hurting during sex!) Ouch is all I can say and boy did I use a lot of lube those first 5 months!
Mw gave us the all clear to have sex at 5 weeks but went to the docs at 6 weeks (for jabs) and mentioned how painful it was and turns out I had healed too quick in one part so stitches were still underneath and the stitches dissolved too quick at the other end ! Argh!

No one told me that becoming a mum is natural for some women but not all and I feel blessed that it has all come natural for me!

No one told me that I may end up co sleeping! I thought it was a huge no no but after buzzing the midwife literally every 5 mins that first night, she taught me to co sleep!

No one told me that my partner may be kicked out... He barely got a look in at the baby when she was born because she came late at night and when I went to postnatal the mw's/nurses asked him to leave because I needed to rest... (I didn't sleep), and the next 2 days it was jut visitors galore and DP was always asked to leave by the nurses? Why... Is it because we were young? Unmarried? What?! Other's certainly didn't get the same treatment!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Before having bub give visit time...

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 20:41:29 +0000

Author: Inkedpixie
Subject: 15630
Posted: 12�January�2011 at 8:41pm

Before having bub give visit time limits to grandparents and anybody else you think might try to overstay their welcome once you bring baby home. By bringing it up before it happens they won't brush it off as you being hormonal and will be more understanding :) (not from personal experience but a friend did this when she had her 3 children, and she says it was a godsend!)

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Nobody told me how hard the first...

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 09:35:25 +0000

Author: caliandjack
Subject: 15630
Posted: 12�January�2011 at 9:35am

Nobody told me how hard the first two weeks would be, labour and birth was a piece of cake compared to what followed.

I didn't know how painful breast feeding could be, and for me that's how it is.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I haven't read the whole...

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 09:11:34 +0000

Author: Mrs_B
Subject: 15630
Posted: 12�January�2011 at 9:11am

I haven't read the whole thread so someone may have mentioned it already but just because you can breastfeed successfully doesn't mean you will lose weight and don't expect you body to ever be the same again even once you have lost the baby weight and if you are one of the lucky woman who manage to look like you've never had a baby - consider yourself very lucky!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Don't freak out if you have...

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 21:30:33 +0000

Author: JadeC
Subject: 15630
Posted: 11�January�2011 at 9:30pm

Don't freak out if you have a gush of blood after birth! I had a c-sect, and 3 times there was blood just running down my legs onto the floor! Luckily someone had told me it could happen, otherwise I would have FREAKED out!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Be assertive. If you don't...

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 10:28:15 +0000

Author: QTMum
Subject: 15630
Posted: 30�December�2010 at 10:28am

Be assertive. If you don't feel like you can be then make sure there is someone else who will speak up for you.

I was so bewildered after going through labour and trusted that all of the midwives knew more than me so I did as I was told even when I didn't agree with what they were saying.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I thought the birth was going...

Tue, 28 Dec 2010 19:23:12 +0000

Author: T_Rex
Subject: 15630
Posted: 28�December�2010 at 7:23pm

I thought the birth was going to be the hard bit (and it was hard), but at least you know it isn't going to last forever.

I never, ever imagined that it would be possible to have a one-year-old who hasn't slept more than a 2-hour stretch in 6 months (and usually reached a maximum of 3 hours before that). I could have never comprehended that level of exhaustion, or believed that it's survivable - but it IS!

I never realised how much more I'd know about my baby than anyone else. More than DH who's her DAD, more than mum, who has had 5 more babies than I've had, more than the doctor who is making his assessment based on a two-minute consultation.

Edited by T_Rex

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : neivaD wrote:Hmmm... I know...

Tue, 28 Dec 2010 12:55:40 +0000

Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 15630
Posted: 28�December�2010 at 12:55pm

neivaD wrote:

Hmmm...
I know the question is old, but yes during a c-section they do use an ecbolic (usually IV) and then scrape the uterus out.

and no one told me that it can bloody hurt when they scrape the uterus out despite being totally numb from a spinal block!!! I was saying ouch ouch that hurts ouch and the anethitist(sp?) said oh yes that part can sometimes be uncomfortable, and it sure was!
I dont remember it hurting with DS's emerg CS but it did with my DD's elective.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Bump! Found this... what a great...

Tue, 28 Dec 2010 09:48:11 +0000

Author: GuestGuest
Subject: 15630
Posted: 28�December�2010 at 9:48am

Bump! Found this... what a great thread
love reading this sort of stuff as a first time mum to be.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Emmecat wrote:Ha great thread!...

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 09:43:47 +0000

Author: JodyR
Subject: 15630
Posted: 20�January�2010 at 9:43am

Emmecat wrote:

Ha great thread! I didn't realise my woohoo would be�be so frickin painful AFTER giving birth...and tha it would STILL hurt during sex 7 months later�

Also that BF would hurt more than labour (for me anyway)

�

But that it IS totally worth it...just! lol�

Nobody told me that either and I wish they had. I also wish they'd explain it very carefully to my husband, who was under the impression that the baby would pop out and everything would just ping back in to shape and be ready to go. I have an episiotomy scar that still makes itself known nearly 10 months later but it is a lot better than it was.

Having read this thread I'm starting to wish I gave birth in New Zealand, your hospitals and nurses sound great. Most of mine were lovely but they were so busy it was hard to find one that had the time to answer questions or help with breastfeeding.

I think the things I wish I had known we that when your water breaks you certainly know about it. Mine felt like someone had snapped an elastic band inside me and was instantly followed by A LOT of water, far more than I was expecting there to be.

I also wish I had known why I was in such a bad mood before they went. They went at 8am and I had just gotten out of bed after being awake for an hour but feeling too horrible to want to move. My husband commented that my bump looked lower and I wanted to punch him just for speaking to me! I felt so angry and didn't know why but I knew I absolutely hated him . That anger disappeared when my waters broke and a nurse at the hospital said it was quite comman to feel that way in the last hours or minutes before everything happens.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Emmecat wrote: I didn't...

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:15:54 +0000

Author: Chickoin
Subject: 15630
Posted: 19�January�2010 at 4:15pm

Emmecat wrote:

I didn't realise my woohoo would be�be so frickin painful AFTER giving birth...and tha it would STILL hurt during sex 7 months later�

Me too! But *finally* all of a sudden it doesn't hurt anymore! Maybe because I'm not BFing anymore, maybe it just takes a whole frikkin year to heal, either way, no pain anymore! I hope it gets better for you too Emmecat

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Ok - this is going to sound completely...

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:25:50 +0000

Author: Delli
Subject: 15630
Posted: 19�January�2010 at 2:25pm

Ok - this is going to sound completely stupid and blonde but..... Everybody told me that a squeeze bottle full of warm water would be good for squirting when you were going for a pee after birth. For some reason I had thought that you held the bottle underneath you and squirted upwards .

After birth I looked at the bottle and thought - What a stupid idea! That's not going to work. I'll just end up peeing all over the bottle and my hand and its going to be hard getting the bottle under there while I'm on the toilet.

So I did without the bottle for a while until I realised that you can squirt from above........

I'm not that dumb normally, honest!

Edited by StaceyL

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Ha great thread! I didn't...

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:05:23 +0000

Author: Emmecat
Subject: 15630
Posted: 18�January�2010 at 8:05pm

Ha great thread! I didn't realise my woohoo would be be so frickin painful AFTER giving birth...and tha it would STILL hurt during sex 7 months later

Also that BF would hurt more than labour (for me anyway)

But that it IS totally worth it...just! lol

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Hmmm... I know the question is...

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:30:38 +0000

Author: neivaD
Subject: 15630
Posted: 18�January�2010 at 7:30pm

Hmmm...
I know the question is old, but yes during a c-section they do use an ecbolic (usually IV) and then scrape the uterus out.

No matter how many tests you have, or how careful you are, you dont always get an alive baby at the end of pregnancy.

After a c-section its ok to not get out of bed as soon as you can feel your legs, even though everyone tells you it will help to mobilise. Just mobilise in bed if you dont feel like getting up and moving around. Dont push yourself because someone else has told you that it will make you feel better.

If you are constipated after birth and really dont feel like you can go without help (whether surgical or vaginal) ask for something, and if the first something doesnt work, ask again for something else.

Babies dont pee much in the first 24 hours.

Its normal for both boys and girls to have blood looking crystals in their nappies.

Babies do vomit, sometimes a large amount in the first few days of life. They also can sound quite snuffly.

Just cos you have successfully breastfed with no issues before it doesn't mean it will be easy as the next time around. Same goes the other way around as well, just because you didnt successfully breastfeed the first time around (or second, or third) does not mean that you wont with future babies.

Every breastfeeding experience is different, and just because you have done it before, your new baby has never done it before and needs to learn how too.

Every baby is different, what worked for one baby might not work for your next baby.

Just because you have had a previous c-section, even more than one, does not mean you always HAVE to have another one with subsequent babies.

Even if you do have a VBAC, dont expect it to be all healing, and dont expect it will be an incredibly positive experience, just because it wasnt a surgical delivery.

If it feels wrong, whether it be during pregnancy, labour birth, postnatally or during parenting, it most probably is. Trust your instincts!

Im sure there is more, and I will come back in May after this baby is born cos I am sure ive forgotten something lol

Edited by neivaD

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I third the go with your instincts...

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 18:28:20 +0000

Author: Tastic
Subject: 15630
Posted: 18�January�2010 at 6:28pm

I third the go with your instincts I rang the midwife and was told to ring her later in the afternoon and she will think of assessing me then as 'IT WILL BE A WHILE"
we rang 15 minutes later, she arrived 45 minutes after that and I was already 9cm!

not everyone can deliver laying down on the bed. I had what was called a back labour when nothing could touch my back. so had him standing up over the end of the bed.

no one told me I could vomit during labour! it laboured so fast with bailey every contraction I was vomiting

I never realised how emotional you can become after having a baby, having a shower afterwards I stood there crying.

no one told me I could give bailey to a midwife/nurse over night so I got next to no sleep cause he was so mucousy

I didn't realise my boobs would be 'manhandled' by the midwife's trying to help me feed bailey and showing me how to hand express after Aidan

you will know when your milk is in, your boobs feel like rock. Dont let the midwife tell you because its only been 2 days its not your milk. I had this with Aidan and was in agony till the next shift change!

no one told me it is possible to have a preemie baby. I certainly didn't believe it till I was in the hospital having him

not every birth goes how you want! Aidan's was a nightmare. I ended up in stirrups with a male doctors hand up in me 'aiding Aidan'

defiantly ask for help if you need it!

sleep when baby sleeps! and dont worry about the housework! it will be there the next day

opps sorry for the novel

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Bizzy was right! Bumpety bump...

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:43:12 +0000

Author: weegee
Subject: 15630
Posted: 18�January�2010 at 3:43pm

Bizzy was right! Bumpety bump

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Oh! That isn't as bad as...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:17:00 +0000

Author: Chickoin
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 8:17pm

Oh! That isn't as bad as my wild imagination led me to believe! It's good to know there is a gentler way other than forceps

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : sorry cuppatea, I must have been...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:54:25 +0000

Author: Kellz
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 6:54pm

sorry cuppatea, I must have been posting same time as you!

Yep vontouse is less invasive cos it only needs to suck onto the part of babies head that is visible in the vagina. The forceps require episiotomy cos they need to go around babies head.

Edited by Kellz

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : No the 'tongs' are forceps...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:52:02 +0000

Author: Kellz
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 6:52pm

No the 'tongs' are forceps and usually require an episiotimy - a surgical cut in the perineum to make room for getting the forceps inside around each side of the babies head.
A vontouse is a 'suction cap' which is put on the babies head, and low level suction via a machine is applies to help birth the baby.
Usually this is the first option if assistance is needed, often due to maternal exhaustion during the 'pushing' stage of labour.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Forceps are the tong like things....

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:50:11 +0000

Author: cuppatea
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 6:50pm

Forceps are the tong like things. Ventouse is a vacuum cap that they stick on the babies head and then when you push they pull the help the baby out. If I remember correctly then it is less invasive than forceps?

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : ventouse? (sp?) I think are the...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:48:34 +0000

Author: AliaDawn
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 6:48pm

ventouse? (sp?) I think are the tong-like things they can use to help pull bubs out if there's trouble... I could be getting them mixed up with another tool though. Sounds scary to me too!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I have a question! What's...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:36:02 +0000

Author: Chickoin
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 6:36pm

I have a question! What's a venthouse delivery? Or is it something I don't really want to know about...? Sounds kind of scary...

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I just thought of one more! Once...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:40:08 +0000

Author: Bobbie
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 2:40pm

I just thought of one more! Once they learn to self settle then when they wake up don't rush in and pick them up if they aren't grizzling or crying. Took me a while to realise that if I just left her alone she'd go back to sleep quite happily and sleep just as long again (usually).

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I remember having to push quite...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:16:05 +0000

Author: cat007
Subject: 15630
Posted: 01�April�2008 at 1:16pm

I remember having to push quite hard to get placenta out but it wasnt painful like a bubs head. Apparently I got the ecbolic injection but I cant remember it as I had had an epidural. And yes, I still could feel pain with delivering bubs even with an epidural but it was bearable and gave me notice of when to push on the contractions - I actually enjoyed that part (I know Im crazy).

Did anyone find their bub vomited a clear mucous about approx 6 hrs after birth? I panicked as nobody had told me that it could happen and we were alone in the car travelling 2 1/2 hours across country from the hospital to a maternity unit. To make it worse we were in the middle of nowhere and didnt even have cellphone coverage - we just cleaned up and had to keep on driving. Scary stuff!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I didn't have the injection...

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:04:53 +0000

Author: Rachael21
Subject: 15630
Posted: 30�March�2008 at 8:04pm

I didn't have the injection but it just fell out eww it was gross. I was in the bath and I just stood up and it came out so then I got on the bed. It can't have been very long cos I hardly got to hold bubs before it was placenta time. I guess either way is pretty similar.

Oh yeah the cord is blue

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : mum2paris wrote:Trust your...

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:38:31 +0000

Author: meow
Subject: 15630
Posted: 30�March�2008 at 7:38pm

mum2paris wrote:

Trust your instincts too, like others have said, again, had i not just trusted my body, and gone to the hospital anyway even though my midwife had said "come in if it makes you feel better but you don't sound very far along" - I'd have had Ayja on the bathroom floor.

Yes! That happened to me, my midwife said "it sounds like you still have quite a while to go" and I got there and was 8cm dilated, and she was born not that long after!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I birthed the placenta with no...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 23:32:46 +0000

Author: Mazzy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 11:32pm

I birthed the placenta with no injection, just breast feeding (which releases hormones to help expel the placenta naturally). I actually found it quite an effort to push out, but nowhere near as much effort as that required to push DD out! And it is soft. I just wasn't expecting it to be such an effort, everyone told me it should come very easily.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I had ecbolic both times to expel...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 23:02:53 +0000

Author: caraMel
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 11:02pm

I had ecbolic both times to expel the placenta, first time because I was exhausted after long posterior birth and second because it was taking a while to come naturally.
Midwife was most amused when she injected me and I said "Freaking OW!" She was like "You just gave birth and you're complaining about a tiny needle?!" LOL

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : sarahbetha wrote:Ok sorry about...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 21:54:16 +0000

Author: Nefertiti
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 9:54pm

sarahbetha wrote:

Ok sorry about this but i really have no clue to begin with i had no idea what happend to the cord after it's cut then discovered that it's attatched to the placenta but now i have discovered you have to give birth to the placenta aswell!!! So what is it like pushing out another head or does it simply fall out or what??? It's really actually quite gross when i think about it,

Everyone is right when saying its not like pushing another head out....but you can experience more contaction pains while the placenta is coming away from the uterus. You may find that your mw will help it by gently pulling the cord to assist. But when it comes out, its soft and doesnt hurt like a head. More like jelly.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Bizzy wrote: AliaDawn wrote:usually?...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:49:21 +0000

Author: Nefertiti
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 8:49pm

Bizzy wrote:

AliaDawn wrote:

usually? I'm pretty sure the "norm" in NZ is to birth the placenta naturally unless it's taking a very long time. You may not even feel it come out... it's NOTHING compared to a head lmao. your MW will just get you to squat over an ice cream container or something, and push it out.

you what???!!! i never had to squat over anything !!!!

they gave me an injection to help expel it - my choice. and it was over pretty quickly. and i didnt have to squat over anything!

I agree! Stuff having to squat over something just after you have pushed out a baby! I imagine it would feel like your insides are coming out lol.
All 3 times, I was still on my back for the placenta delivery (I had all 3 kids on my back, couldn't manage other positions).

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Emma they lift the baby out and...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:39:16 +0000

Author: peachy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 8:39pm

Emma they lift the baby out and cut the cord, then they pull out the placenta by hand and give it to the m/w for an inspection as normal!

No ebolic shot or anything as far as I am aware (or what I can remember anyway)!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Yep, the ecbolic injection is...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:31:28 +0000

Author: Maya
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 8:31pm

Yep, the ecbolic injection is pretty routine to help expel the placenta, but it's part of the birth plan you discuss before the birth with your LMC and you can choose to birth the placenta without it altho it usually takes longer.

I had the ecbolic injection both times and the placentas came really quickly, and it's not anything like birthing another head (thank God!) it kinda just slides out.

I've also seen a placenta manually removed after it got stuck and let me tell you, it wasn't pleasant to watch, I can only imagine what it was like to actually experience!

And yep, like Liz said, the cord is tough as boots, I cut Maya's, and my friends wee boy's, and it's the weirdest thing.

One thing I do want to know tho is what happens with the placenta when you have a c-sect? Do they just peel it away or do you have to have the ecbolic shot or what?

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : AliaDawn wrote:usually? I'm...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:16:30 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 8:16pm

you what???!!! i never had to squat over anything !!!!

they gave me an injection to help expel it - my choice. and it was over pretty quickly. and i didnt have to squat over anything!

Edited by Bizzy

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Sarahbetha - My placenta was 'born'...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:10:45 +0000

Author: monster
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 8:10pm

Sarahbetha - My placenta was 'born' naturally - it only took 6 minutes, one little push and it just slid out.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : i remember some pressure with...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 19:36:34 +0000

Author: lizzle
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 7:36pm

i remember some pressure with the placenta, but no pain - and I ha stitches with one, and a graze with another.

the placenta is fascinating

The umbilical cord is NOT like cutting steak - it's "chewy"

um...what else....Calling a baby in utero any name, means it's difficult to call them by their actual name for ages....Taine was B2 for about three weeks.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : usually? I'm pretty sure...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 18:43:02 +0000

Author: AliaDawn
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 6:43pm

usually? I'm pretty sure the "norm" in NZ is to birth the placenta naturally unless it's taking a very long time. You may not even feel it come out... it's NOTHING compared to a head lmao. your MW will just get you to squat over an ice cream container or something, and push it out.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : LOL, sarahbetha, usually you get...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 18:10:48 +0000

Author: kabe
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 6:10pm

LOL, sarahbetha, usually you get an injection which helps your body expel the placenta. I don't even remember that part, so don't think any pushing was involved. Some people prefer to deliver it naturally, which takes around 30 minutes.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Ok sorry about this but i really...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:44:54 +0000

Author: BessieBear
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 5:44pm

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : But , you'll have a radar...

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:04:11 +0000

Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 15630
Posted: 29�March�2008 at 5:04pm

But , you'll have a radar that picks up all the skinny woman in your sight range...and you will sigh and tug your (too short) top over those extra bits of erm,padding where your hips used to be , and continue on your way

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Aww Janine you made me cry I'm...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 21:01:00 +0000

Author: Rachael21
Subject: 15630
Posted: 28�March�2008 at 9:01pm

Aww Janine you made me cry I'm scared enough that Jack is nearly half way there.

You may think you are the skinniest thing ever, but weirdly your old clothes don't fit.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : caraMel wrote: Trust in the...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:26:42 +0000

Author: Snappy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 28�March�2008 at 3:26pm

caraMel wrote:

[QUOTE=mum2paris]

Trust in the fact that when your daughter at age nearly 5, starts smelling like "fashion girl" shampoo and strawberry lipgloss, you are going to miss when you used to pick her up and have that whispy hair brushing your cheek, when she smelt like warm milky sweet baby powder, and when the most you had to worry about was how long it had been since the last dirty nappy. Hold your baby tight, and take the time to breathe them in, they grow up too fast and you soon learn that you're not going to be able to sheild them from the world forever (can you tell i'm scared about the speed at which my girl's reaching school age!?)

I went through this the first day of school a few weeks ago... all those nights wishing she would just be all grown up so i can get some sleep!!!
i sat in her classroom on her first day, thinking she'd need me there to hold her hand. She was sitting on the mat and said "mum... you can go now"

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : your baby may have some milk coming...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:18:40 +0000

Author: chonni
Subject: 15630
Posted: 28�March�2008 at 3:18pm

your baby may have some milk coming out of its nipples, and if u have a girl mucus like a 'show' may come out and also blood. and thoese after pains i was crying on the ground about a week after mila was born in pain almost went to hospital but they were calming down

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : fattartsrock wrote:Your tops...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:04:51 +0000

Author: lilfatty
Subject: 15630
Posted: 28�March�2008 at 7:04am

fattartsrock wrote:

Your tops will all seem too short

Yeeees!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Sometimes you will hate it, hate...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 23:18:17 +0000

Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 11:18pm

Sometimes you will hate it, hate it, hate it and sometimes you will be bored out of your skull.

And them something great happens and makes it all ok again.

Not every baby sleeps well, not every child automatically sleeps through from 6 weeks, or even 6 months or even 12 months or even two years. It is normal, you are not the only one, it does suck, but its NOT YOUR FAULT.. (well, not much, lol)

Your sex drive may dissapear completely

You might literally p!ss yourself laughing (or sneezing or jumping, running, bending etc)

Your tops will all seem too short

You have just done the most amazing thing ever. Congratulate yourself and let your visitors make YOU a cuppa, clever girl.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : caraMel wrote: mum2paris...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 23:11:34 +0000

Author: Maya
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 11:11pm

caraMel wrote:

mum2paris wrote:

Trust in the fact that when your daughter at age nearly 5, starts smelling like "fashion girl" shampoo and strawberry lipgloss, you are going to miss when you used to pick her up and have that whispy hair brushing your cheek, when she smelt like warm milky sweet baby powder, and when the most you had to worry about was how long it had been since the last dirty nappy. Hold your baby tight, and take the time to breathe them in, they grow up too fast and you soon learn that you're not going to be able to sheild them from the world forever (can you tell i'm scared about the speed at which my girl's reaching school age!?)

OMG Janine, I had an identical moment leaving Ella's room earlier. Hubby is completely baffled by me sitting here all emotional about it now, lol!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I'll second (or third?) the...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:37:51 +0000

Author: Mazzy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 10:37pm

I'll second (or third?) the blood clots! No-one told me about them and I FREAKED OUT when I passed a massive one the next day in hospital. I was in the toilet at the time, but panicked and rang the emergency bell they have in there twice and three midwives came running all to find me standing there wondering if they had missed part of the placenta or what was going on. They were not amused - but it was an honest mistake!!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : cuppatea wrote:If you have...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:10:56 +0000

Author: Bobbie
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 10:10pm

cuppatea wrote:

If you have a c/s get someone to bring you in an inflatable cushion or some other type of cushion cos I found that my arse would go numb while I sat feeding and cos of the surgery it was near impossible to shift position with baby still latched and was impossible to unlatch baby put him in the bassinet then move etc cos of being so sore and so unable to move about.

OMG! I had completely forgotten about that! Yep absolutely and those damn hospital beds are not very soft!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : mum2paris wrote: Trust in...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:52:39 +0000

Author: caraMel
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 9:52pm

OMG Janine, I had an identical moment leaving Ella's room earlier. Hubby is completely baffled by me sitting here all emotional about it now, lol!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Hehe this thread brings back memories!!One...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:45:55 +0000

Author: lilfatty
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 8:45pm

[QUOTE=jaxs]Hehe this thread brings back memories!!
One of my memories is that straight after giving birth to J I swore I was never doing that again!! lol /QUOTE]

Same! But 8 weeks after birth I forgot how much it hurt and how scary it is having this little baby totally dependant on you!

You will feel tied down no matter how much help you get

Oh and if you have a baby girl it is normal to find some blood in the nappy in the first week ... DH and I rang our midwife in a panic!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Good points Janine, I felt many...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:42:13 +0000

Author: peachy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 8:42pm

Good points Janine, I felt many of those things you have mentioned above.

Also if you feel like having a damn good cry, do so, it makes you feel a whole lot better! I cried for nearly 3 whole days, thinking back now, I don't even know why I was crying but it made me feel so much better!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Your tummy, WILL feel like a mashmellow,...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:33:02 +0000

Author: mum2paris
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 8:33pm

Your tummy, WILL feel like a mashmellow, it will feel weird, the skin just doesn't bounce back again, it's been stretched and will stay that way, for a fair while probably.

I second the things said about someone helping you to the shower, I remember after having paris i stood up for the first time when i got in the shower, and half way thru the shower felt like all my insides that had been squished up for the past 9 mths just all of a sudden fell back down into place.. It was horrible, Get a chair and sit down in the shower.

Some babies dopn't sleep for the 24hrs afterwards, some cluster feed, this is constant, non-stop feeding, you just put them down, they sleep 10 mins, then they're up again. Go with it, this is their way of bringing in your milk - Ayja did this for the first 2 days non-stop, then continued on a fairly regular schedule of 2 hourly feeds for the first 6 days..yeah i was exhausted, but she gained half to full pounds each week for the first month or so.

IF you find that around the 6 week mark your previously great BF baby starts screaming at you, choking or p[ulling away, It might be that since your milk supply has increased, your let down reflex has too - I had this both times, with my 1st it was the beginning of the end of breastfeeding it was all downhill from there. With ayja, I learnt that she would pull off just as let down was starting as she learnt to avoid the sudden overwhelming amount of milk that would choke her. I learnt to have a towel handy, place it over the breast for a min or so till the flow settled down, then put her back on. After a week or so she got better and i didn't have to do that anymore.

Don't put off feeding baby just cos you have visitors, I found this hard because i couldn't be discreet and didn't want to appear rude. Go into the bedroom and feed baby in there, they won't mind, you may even come back out to find a cuppa waiting for you (you can ask them to make one while you're in there)

EAT! breastfeeding makes you hungry, it makes you thirsty, and alot of problems come about when you forget that you're still kinda eating for 2. Once i learnt to have some jam on toast and a milo after my late night feeds, i stopped having problems with low blood sugar etc.

If you find yourself feeling blue for far too long, if you find yourself worrying about baby so much you can't sleep, if you find yourself isolated and too scared to leave the house, or sitting waiting for your man to come home cos you're completely freaked out by this tiny thing depending on you - get help, go see your doc, tell someone. It's so not worth trying to deal with it on your own, people won't think you're nuts, you won't loose your baby and life will get better.

If you don't know whether to laugh or cry, - laugh, crazily, maniacally, makes it easier to handle things sometimes.

Remember in the hardest times that this too shall pass,

For the birth - don't always trust that first births will be long, if in doubt, check it out, if i hadn't just gotten my midwife to check me 2 hours after contractions started "just in case" then i'd never have known i was going to be fully dialated 15 minutes later.

Trust your instincts too, like others have said, again, had i not just trusted my body, and gone to the hospital anyway even though my midwife had said "come in if it makes you feel better but you don't sound very far along" - I'd have had Ayja on the bathroom floor.

Trust in the fact that when your daughter at age nearly 5, starts smelling like "fashion girl" shampoo and strawberry lipgloss, you are going to miss when you used to pick her up and have that whispy hair brushing your cheek, when she smelt like warm milky sweet baby powder, and when the most you had to worry about was how long it had been since the last dirty nappy. Hold your baby tight, and take the time to breathe them in, they grow up too fast and you soon learn that you're not going to be able to sheild them from the world forever (can you tell i'm scared about the speed at which my girl's reaching school age!?)

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Bizzy wrote: Oh and babies...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:28:53 +0000

Author: Brenna
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 8:28pm

Bizzy wrote:

Oh and babies skin can get quite spotty and ugly. My second child was covered in milk spots and then got a heat rash too, he was the spottiest, blotchiest, baby i had ever seen.

Same here! And don't let anyone make you feel guilty for it!! (My MIL told me I wasn't looking after my DD properly cause of this)

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Remember to drink lots!!! I didn't...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:57:05 +0000

Author: Bumble
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 7:57pm

Remember to drink lots!!!

I didn't drink enough after the birth of Ethan...

I felt like I had a double decker bus up my butt..... I was sooooooo constipated...

So drink, drink, drink!!!!!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : hmmm, how about that just because...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:34:36 +0000

Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 7:34pm

hmmm, how about that just because you think your baby is the most amazing to ever be born that not everyone will be thrilled to see yet another set of prints of your little darling....some people just arent "baby people" ( freaks i know haha)

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : If you have a c/s get someone...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:40:23 +0000

Author: cuppatea
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 4:40pm

If you have a c/s get someone to bring you in an inflatable cushion or some other type of cushion cos I found that my arse would go numb while I sat feeding and cos of the surgery it was near impossible to shift position with baby still latched and was impossible to unlatch baby put him in the bassinet then move etc cos of being so sore and so unable to move about.
If you need to throw up (the concoction of drugs made me spew less than 24 hours after the surgery) then try to hold the wound area either with a pillow or the blankets and if unable to make to the toilet or even get the little spew bucket thing then throw up on the bed it is easier for the mw to clean up than on the floor

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I too was not prepared for HUGE...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:17:16 +0000

Author: BellaBoo
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 4:17pm

I too was not prepared for HUGE blood clots. I passed one in the shower and had to push it down the plughole with my toes There was nothing else I could do!!!!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I wasn't prepared for how...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:31:48 +0000

Author: KH25
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 2:31pm

I wasn't prepared for how much blood there would be just after giving birth. I didn't make it to Antenatal classes so I had no idea about a lot of stuff to do with the actual birth. I remember having a shower then getting dressed, then the MW told me I had to go wees before I left delivery. I pulled down my knickers and couldn't get onto the toilet seat without blood dripping EVERYWHERE! I didn't realise how heavy it would be and the dumb hospital midwife that delivered Ash wasn't exactly forthcoming with information. When I went to have a shower she handed me 2 maternity pads but didn't actually say to use both at once. I thought she had just given me one as a spare so needless to say I laeked everywhere quite quickly lol! It does settle down after a day or so though or even quicker. But the blood clots are Sorry way tmi but a couple of times I had to go to the loo and get a handful of toiletpaper and physically pull them out

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : i never experienced "let...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:01:24 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 1:01pm

i never experienced "let down" with my first son while bf. i also never experienced the "ring of fire" with him either... it wastn till my second child that i got any of that... oh and i never got after pains either, with either child.

so expect them but dont be surprised if you dont get them...

Oh and babies skin can get quite spotty and ugly. My second child was covered in milk spots and then got a heat rash too, he was the spottiest, blotchiest, baby i had ever seen.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : During the first few weeks, if...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:19:52 +0000

Author: tishy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 12:19pm

During the first few weeks, if you can time your visitors when DH or someone else is around. I found it hard work having 1 on 1 conversations with people during the first few weeks.
At least when someone else was around I was able to zone out.

Also don't be afraid to tell someone to leave cos you're tired. I was and it lead to me being extra exhausted for the rest of the day.

Have a set window of time for visitors to come to the hospital.
My girls were in Neonatal so could only get visitors between 3 and 6. This meant that I had the rest of the day to rest. Also they would only stay in my room for a few minutes and DH would take them down to see the babies then.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Ooo yeah another one do all your...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:27:12 +0000

Author: Rachael21
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 10:27am

Ooo yeah another one do all your reading about breastfeeding before baby arrives. Once your milk comes in you can't even think about feeding let alone read about it without getting a let down (milk spraying everywhere) which can really hurt to start off with.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I didnt get told alot. I was...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:23:07 +0000

Author: MyMinis
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 9:23am

I didnt get told alot.

I was told birthing was natural and i knew yeah some have to have csections but i was ignorant to the idea and everythign was sugar coated for me which sucked, esp when i had forceps with episiotomy and yes pump bottle of water great for peeing with stitches.

I was told bfeeding is normal, noone told me not everyone can do it so when i couldnt feed james i worked myself up real bad thinking i was a bad mother because i had to formula feed.

afterpains after number 2 i wasnt told they were way more painful till AFTER i had james, and noone told me they would last for alot longer to.

and i never knew how painful it was when milk came in OUCH!! esp when i couldnt feed james at all at least with haleigh i could for a short while so i got the initial engorging out of the way before i ahd to stop.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Two Blondinis wrote: I was...

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:29:15 +0000

Author: Kellz
Subject: 15630
Posted: 27�March�2008 at 8:29am

Two Blondinis wrote:

I was admanent I would not get PND. So made myself get out and about even in the early days. Helped for me.

So was I , but it still happened. Its not your fault. Tell people, DO NOT try and cope on your own. Its ok if you cant remeber when you last dusted/vacummed etc! Looking after yoursefl,...resting is more important than housework. But eating well is important too,...dont live on toasties or takeaways.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Thanks MrsMojo...I had no idea...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 23:18:34 +0000

Author: Nefertiti
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 11:18pm

Thanks MrsMojo...I had no idea that could happen!

Topsy wrote:

If you are monitored for whatever reason through your labour ask for a laxy and empty your bowels at some stage. No one told me and they wouldnt let me because I was too close to giving birth. Oh well, they had to deal with the consequences

This can also be a natural part of birthing. I had no urge to go at all with my 2nd, but near the end it happened. I was told this is natural and also means baby is very close to arriving. That birth was also very quick for me (an hour at hosp) and I went into shock afterwards....body didn't go through the transititional stages gradually, did it all at once!

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : -you will feel so much better...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:12:25 +0000

Author: peanut butter
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 10:12pm

-you will feel so much better at 6 weeks. It is a magic date. I would never have believed it but thats about when you feel human (and get rewarded with a smile or two).

-if bubs arrives late in the evening, think about texting in the morning. you forget that all those texts you send are all going to come back and sometimes you just want some peace

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : When you get home let everyone...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:57:42 +0000

Author: BellaBoo
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 9:57pm

When you get home let everyone know your visiting hours. That way you can have an hour when people can visit so that you dont have an overwhelming stream of visitors all day for a couple of weeks after giving birth- exhausting!

If you are monitored for whatever reason through your labour ask for a laxy and empty your bowels at some stage. No one told me and they wouldnt let me because I was too close to giving birth. Oh well, they had to deal with the consequences

Dont be afraid of stitches, they are nothing compared to a graze. I peed in the shower everytime I needed to go for about a week.

Edited by Topsy

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : RachandJack wrote:Another good...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:52:37 +0000

Author: cuppatea
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 9:52pm

RachandJack wrote:

Another good way to get rid of blocked ducts is to lie baby flat on the bed and sort of hang over them so your boobs are hanging straight down. You may need help with this position or you would want bubs to be able to latch properly.

I had to do that, my m/w called it gravity feeding and drew my a stick man sketch of how to do it...lol

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Thanks for all this advice! Its...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:02:48 +0000

Author: thomasina
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 9:02pm

Thanks for all this advice! Its great. Keep it coming..

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : I agree with Maya - We got DH...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:20:28 +0000

Author: Bobbie
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 8:20pm

I agree with Maya - We got DH to include in the text the words 'ring first to arrange a visit' and he was able to screen visitors and also tell them (nicely)to leave when I was starting to get too tired. So so glad he did that.

Also agree with the bonding after a C-sect. I bonded with my daughter the moment she was put on my chest which is something I didn't expect even with a vaginal birth.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Another good way to get rid of...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:14:30 +0000

Author: Rachael21
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 8:14pm

Another good way to get rid of blocked ducts is to lie baby flat on the bed and sort of hang over them so your boobs are hanging straight down. You may need help with this position or you would want bubs to be able to latch properly.

If you have a really bad night, don't even bother getting fressed and keep sleeping while baby sleeps until you have had enough sleep (even if it means you get up at 7pm)

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : When you send out texts to people...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:04:36 +0000

Author: Maya
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 8:04pm

When you send out texts to people to announce the big arrival, DON'T tell them you are up for visitors. The gremlins were born at 8pm, had a shocking first night and the following morning I had 17 visitors all at the same time. They meant well, but damn it was too much for me to handle and I ended up exhausted! I should have told people to hold off visiting till the following day.

Send out food orders! I got brought kebabs, ham rolls, pasta, juice, cream donuts... they DON'T feed you enough in hospital and visitors don't mind bringing food.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : two blondinis- i totally agree.....

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:52:08 +0000

Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 7:52pm

two blondinis- i totally agree.. to all of it esp the showering and getting dressed bit..week 1 it was hard to do even that.. and the doped up bit sucked..i was prepared for it to not all go perfect but it couldnt have gone much worse:( and as you say the next few days are kinda blurry..

oh and another...people really do mean well when they say it will get easier.. it really will even though at the time you want to hit them everytime they say it:)

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Also remembered if you have a...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:28:20 +0000

Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 7:28pm

Also remembered if you have a blocked duct a great way to unblock it is to feed your baby so that their chin is kneading the lump - effectively massaging the blockage out. This may mean you need to manouvere into an odd feeding position. My blockage was above my nipple close to the top of my cleavage so I had to prop myself up on cushions and lie Michaela across my body with her legs over my shoulder to get the lump moved but it prevented mastitis and babies are better at massaging milk out of your breasts than anything else.

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : Nefertiti wrote: MrsMojo...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:22:28 +0000

Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 6:22pm

Nefertiti wrote:

MrsMojo wrote:

Even if you've had a drug free vaginal birth you may still need a cathetar afterwards.

I'm just wondering why this would be so?

I had not been able to wee for over 7 hours. I didn't feel the urge to go but my bladder was so swollen you could see it pushing out my right hand side and it was preventing my uterus from shrinking properly. My midwife was great and picked up on it straight away, used the smallest cathetar she could find (so as not to hurt me too much) and stayed in the bathroom with me while my bladder drained.

Edited by MrsMojo

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : kawwww wrote: That happened...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:13:30 +0000

Author: Two Blondinis
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 3:13pm

kawwww wrote:

That happened to me too, but there are lots of different ways to feed, and lots of advice. You have to pick and choose what suits you best really.
I was more concerned by the fact that my DD wasn't interested in feeding, due to being mucousy. Luckily when we got home and my milk came in, she started to feed

yes but i was so doped up and in shock after such a 'horrific' as my mw put it birth experience that i as just doing what i was told.. and i had no idea what i was doing..i would follow advice then the next nurse would get me to change:( next time will be much easier but far out i was so confused!:) [/QUOTE]
Same here after my "horrific" emerg C/S. You are so out of it for at least a week it really is best you have a support person with you as much as possible to be your brain
I still only have a very scattered memory of Caitlin's first few days - I don't even remember holding her for the first time

Also, if you do have a "bad" experience, I can't stress enough how important it is to debrief with your MW or birthing partner/s. I felt fine about it for about 4 months, then it all came crashing down on me, all of the questions and the guilt "surely it was all my fault!!!". I requested my labour notes and a meeting with my FANTASTIC M/W and was much happier about it after that.

- Remember YOU need to be looked after too! It's not all about the baby.

- If anyone asks if they can help with anything, the main thing I needed but never got was meals! Get people to make you a ton of frozen healthy dinners or else you'll all live on take aways. Not good for the post baby figure or the budget.

- Have arnica and rescue remedy in your hospital bag

- Have an open mind! Just because you read it somewhere/was told something doesn't mean it will happen to you

- C/S mum's don't always have bonding issues! They can BF along with the best of the VB mums

- Make sure you have good continuity of care, even after your MW discharges you from her care. Plunket didn't pick us up until Caitlin was nearly 9 weeks old! In the meantime we had a CRAP locum GP, I gave up BFing and C had a reaction to her 6wks jabs

- If you can't BF, no matter the reason, you have NOT failed your child

- I was admanent I would not get PND. So made myself get out and about even in the early days. Helped for me.

- Go easy on yourself. If you achieve 2 of the 10 things you set out to do in a day, good on ya! Even if those 2 were "have shower" and "get dressed"

- Remember the Daddy is going through this as much as you are. Be there for each other, talk about things that scare you as well as the good stuff.

**whoopsies... slight novel **

What No one told you about Birth & Babies : i dont know if this has already...

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:58:21 +0000

Author: Snappy
Subject: 15630
Posted: 26�March�2008 at 1:58pm

i dont know if this has already been mentioned, but no-one warned me about the "raw chicken breast" looking clots that sometimes follow after birth.(sorry if TMI!) i was absolutely mortified in the shower after giving birth. they continued when i got home too!